right in the lumberyard

Me and the Weinermobile

2011-10-20T12:15:00.005-05:00

That's a lie. It can get better than this, but this ain't bad - hanging out at the Winn Dixie Jacksonville Open at the turn, where the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile is on display today.

just an update

2011-10-18T10:41:00.003-05:00

Another year. Another 170+ miles. This is the first time I paid attention to the ride time. According to the little odometer thingie on my bike, I spent a total of 9 hours, 22 minutes and 51 seconds on the bike over the weekend, getting to Daytona Beach and back.

The trip down was wonderful. The weather was fairly cool and sunny. Not even a hint of rain. The wind was fairly strong out of the north, so it was a tailwind most of the way.

The trip home was almost as nice. The wind was still out of the north, but not as strong, so while it was a headwind, it could have been worse.

I have to admit, this has become a weekend I seriously look forward to. It's hard. It's something you have to train for. Doing the ride is a challenge and sometimes, it really hurts (especially in the thigh and butt area). Still, the comraderie along the ride, and knowing you're doing something really good make the pain more bearable. The atmosphere is more party and pride than pain.

Other good news - the youngster has a real job. It's seasonal. He's been hired by Best Buy, part time, for the holiday season. He's hoping (and so am I) that if he does a really good job and impresses a few people, they'll keep him around. We'll see.

On the wife/cancer front, no news is good news. So far followups haven't revealed any new concerns, so we're moving forward with fingers crossed.

Hope everyone/anyone out there is doing well. I'll say more when I think I have more to say.

You're waiting for government to raise your taxes to do something good? Seriously?

2011-09-27T10:52:00.002-05:00

Dear Doug Edwards, former Google Director of Consumer Marketing who asked Obama to raise his taxes - Dude, be proactive. Why wait for an inefficient government who doesn't have a clue what to do with your money? Have you not seen these people in action...or inaction as the case may be? You want to help the homeless? Grab a hammer and help Habitat for Humanity build houses. Donate money to them for materials. You want to help medical research for curing cancer, multiple sclerosis, muscular distrophy, any number of diseases? There are plenty of charities for that. Write checks. You want to help fund education? There are plenty of after school programs and mentoring programs crying for your help. Stop crying to Obama to raise your taxes, waiting for a government that can't get out of its own way and get involved. You don't need them. Hell, you really don't even WANT them. Get yourself busy.

early morning update

2011-09-06T08:51:00.000-05:00

There's something eerie about being at work early, before anyone else gets here. I have to get some stuff done on the big computer while nobody else is on it, so now's a good time to do that. Once I set it all in motion though, there's not much to do except monitor it, and make sure it's all doing what it's supposed to do, and fixing it if it doesn't.

I figured...good a time as any to do something I haven't in a while - update this place.

First, the wife's condition is good, we think. She's got to do checkups with her doctor, but we're thinking things are looking a whole lot better. She felt good enough to road trip to Pennsylvania the last part of last month/first part of this month.

The trip to Pennsylvania was fun. Spent a few days around Harrisburg, did Hershey Park, and rode bikes with an old friend I hadn't seen in 32 years around Elizabethtown. Then we went to Philly. The youngster had never been to center city to see all the historical stuff - the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, etc., so we enlisted the help of my siblings as tour guides for trains and how to get around. We did center city one day, and they indulged me on another to go tour the old alma mater. Villanova still has all the buildings that were there when I was a student, but there's a whole lot more now. The place has grown a lot. It was great to spend some time with the family. Trips like that make me wish we all lived closer, but I'm not moving north and they aren't moving south, so...so much for that.

They day after we got back, we lost our dog. A neighbor was keeping her while we were gone, and when we got back, she asked if the dog always breathes really heavy, because she had been the last few days. We said no, and thought after a few days back home, she'd be fine. Well, the next day she was still doing it, so the wife and youngster took her to the vet. While there, she had heart failure and died. The youngster took it really hard. He cried for most of the day...literally. And I mean literally. He didn't stop. We ended up going to the animal shelter and getting another one. It is by no means a replacement, but it is helping deal with the loss, and so far he's a pretty cool little dog. He's very different from our old dog, but he's a keeper.

Now, I'm just making sure I'm ready for this year's MS ride. It'll be my fifth, which is a bit hard for me to believe. To think this all started with me wanting to work off some chubbiness. Four and a half years later, I've turned into a bike fanatic. Of course, I don't see myself as a fanatic. When I talk about it with others though, especially those that don't ride at all, they let me know I am. When you casually talk about going out in the morning for 50 miles, people look at you funny.

The youngster started college last week. Amazing when I think about it, and yet not really. I have to qualify the statement a little. Anyone who read here through the years knows he has, and still does struggle with ADD. When he graduated from high school, I wanted to see the diploma to be sure it really happened. His test scores weren't good enough to get into most schools, so he's at the community college and taking remedial math, english and writing classes. Still, I think he'll be OK in the end. He's actually doing well, so far (I mean, it's only been a week) and even helping some of the other students (and by students I mean girls....cute girls) with homework. We'll see.

moving along

2011-06-30T07:05:00.003-05:00

Surgery was Tuesday, and it was an extremely long day. It wasn't long because of what we had to do. There were complications with the procedure in the operating room before the wife got there, so we had to wait.

Then there was a longer than normal wait (if there is a "normal" wait) in recovery because her oxygen level kept dropping and blood pressure kept rising. For a while we thought they may insist on keeping her overnight. All in all, we got there at around 9:30 a.m. and left around 8:45 p.m.

After it's all said and done and it's been a day at home with some perspective, she's doing well. Still home and resting on pain meds, but she's up and around. The doctor said he is pretty sure they got it all, but she'll have follow up visits to check. All we can do now is wait and see....and start smiling and enjoying life again, because worrying gets you nowhere.

better than expected news

2011-06-17T08:16:00.004-05:00

No, it didn't all just go away, but now that the picture is clearer, it's not as nasty as my imagination was letting it get. Not even close.

The wife will have to have surgery to have some tissue removed, but the oncologist said it's very treatable and can be taken care of. Once the surgery happens, she'll be monitored every few months to make sure they got it all. He saw no reason doubt that she'll be fine. In the spectrum of possibilities, this was extremely good news.

He likened it to going to the dermatologist and having lesions removed before they become a serious skin cancer issue, and then going back to make sure nothing else crops up.

Yes, she still has to have surgery, and that's never great news, but in the realm of possibilities, we're thankful that we are where we are.

cancer sucks

2011-06-14T16:20:00.004-05:00

I haven't done much with this blog lately. I guess it's outlived it's usefulness, or it had until now.

I don't know if anyone still reads this thing, and for the time being, it doesn't much matter. I'm not necessarily looking for an audience. I'm looking for an outlet, because I don't have one.

We found out last Friday that the wife has cancer. The medical term she's been given is vulvar dysplasia but it seems to come down to vaginal cancer. We still don't know a whole lot, so the ignorance is probably the worst part. You don't know, so your mind goes immediately to the worst possible case, which is death and suffering and all maner of nastiness.

We have our first appointment with an oncologicst on Thursday, so that should eliminate some of the ignorance, for better or worse. The wife has done some research and it appears the disease is treatable, and death isn't that much in the picture, unless of course she gets hit by a truck tomorrow, my point being she probably stands as much a chance of dying as any of us do. So far, I'm just hoping that's the case.

formatting

2011-04-13T11:05:00.002-05:00

OK, so blogger now takes all the hard returns out of my text. Spiffy.

it's still just a phone

2011-04-13T07:45:00.007-05:00

After well over the two year contract that came with my last phone, I finally decided to upgrade. The wife and youngster have had i-phones for a while now. The wife has had hers since last summer and the youngster got his for Christmas. Since then, I've been listening to the criticism.

My phone is so old.
My phone sucks for texting (only heard when the youngster forgot his and wanted to use mine).
My phone can't play any good games.
My phone can't (insert anything that involves an app here).

What my phone could do was make phone calls, which is all I really asked it to do, so I was OK with that. Then my wife had an accident on her bike (yes, she rides a bike now and yes, she's OK now) and I was stuck in the emergency room for several hours with very little to entertain me, and I started playing with her i-phone, games, web surfing and whatever. The next day I had the same experience in the doctor's office when I took her to get a follow up. It occurred to me that this entertainment device could come in handy. Of course, that just ratched up the criticism.

I thought, OK, maybe it's time. I went and got the i-phone, a little over a week ago. The first thing I did when I got it was text the wife, just because I could. then I went and got some apps, ESPN scores, PGA TOUR scores, local news and weather. I was all set...until Saturday morning, when I was going on a charity bike ride.

The ride was with and for veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, and I thought...I'll have this i-phone. I can take pictures, and I can put them out on the web. This will be so cool...until I got there and the phone was dead. Not an ounce of battery life and it was at about 60% the night before. I had done nothing since. So when I got home, I charged it and it drained to 50% in an hour. I went researching online, and turned off everything that I thought would drain it. Still, charged and it drained to about 50% within a few hours without doing anything. So I took it back to the store and asked. They were equally confounded, took the phone, gave me a new one and sent me on my way. The new one seems to be behaving so far, but I haven't tried much with it yet. We'll see.

just stuff

2011-01-21T08:23:00.003-05:00

I'm an uncle again, but have been longer than any of us knew.

Back in my Navy days, I spent time in Pensacola as a flight instructor. My brother graduated form college and was still languishing in the same job he did during summer breaks, because he could make more cash unloading beer trucks than he could as an accountant fresh out of college. I asked him to come visit and if he liked it, find a job. He did, and he did.

The jobs took him from Pensacola to Fort Walton on the Florida gulf coast, and then to Dothan Alabama, where he ran into a girl he knew in Pensacola. She was divorced with 2 kids, and he spent time with them at the park and ended up in a semi-relationship. Then he got a promotion that moved him to New York...as in city. She decided to move back to Pensacola and lived with her old boyfriend. Well long story shorter, she was pregnant with my brother's daughter, but told him it wasn't his.

Her daughter caught up with mt brother and said she was doing the math and thought maybe...so my brother did the DNA test thing, and now they're getting to know each other. She's 23 now, married to a Navy guy in Afghanistan with a little boy of her own. So basically in one day, my brother found out that he has a daughter he didn't know about and that he's a grandfather. She seems like a really nice girl and nobody's havig a cow over the whole thing. My dad, in typical my dad fashion, upon hearing the news, came out with, "How'd that happen?"

Ummmm...well dad, when a boy and girl really like each other and.....

I've been neglecting the gym, partially because it's been pretty darn cold and I don't want to get out at night and go there (ie. wimpy laziness) and partially because in early January, all the New Years resolutions are out there, keeping their promise to themselves. By now, though, most have broken that promise and the gym is a lot less crowded. I went Tuesday and told myself I'd start back on my Tuesday/Thursday routine, but after doing it Tuesday, I'm still walking slow. My calves are still sore. Yes, I probbaly should have gone anyway, and worked through it, but we had a few other thing come up last night that made it easy to put off until next week. I'm going to get back there though. This slug-fest has to stop.

upgrade the software or die

2010-11-19T10:21:00.007-05:00

About 10 months ago, our television died. We have 3, but this was the main one. It was the one in the family room that we sit down and watch together, when we do such things. If we rent movies or watch something as a family, this is where it happens. So losing that TV was a big deal. It had lived a long and happy life. We had it for about 10 years, and it was to the point where it would cost as much (or more) to repair than to buy a replacement.

It was not a huge screen or flat screen TV. It was supposedly HD compatible, but we never figured out how to get that to work. It just wasn't a priority. The picture was just fine as it was. When it died though, the wife decided it was time to take the leap into the present. We, like most of our friends, should have the big flat high definition screen...and we made it so.

We went to a store and bought a 52 inch Sony high definition TV. All was right with the world.

Until last night. I came home from work to find the wife staring at a blank screen, listening to the news. You could hear it just fine, but there was no picture.. We ate dinner, and I went to work on the TV. I turned it off and unplugged all the cables attached to it and plugged them all back in, making sure they were all secure, and turned it back on. Still, sound and no picture. I tried the DVD player. Same thing. I tried the TV's menu system. Success there. I could see and navigate that, but still no broadcast picture.

I played with the menus until I got to a product support section. I had an 800 number and a website. The wife dialed. I went to the computer. I figured one of us would come up with something. Through both of those venues, we came up with the same answer. The television's software needed an upgrade.

I got on the phone with the woman the wife was talking to. Through a thick asian accent, I got that I needed to get the software upgrade through the internet. I tried to ask how that was supposed to happen. The TV isn't connected to the internet. There's no place to insert any kind of disk. How does one upgrade the software? All I got from the woman (over and over again) was I needed to get it from the internet. She was incapable of giving me specifics about how I go about doing this. I guess this is how Sony and other companies deal with customer support now. If the answer isn't something you want to hear, they have someone from another country tell you, so they don't understand when you ask for specifics of how to do something, and they just re-read the script they've been given. Your frustration really doesn't matter.

I tried to get the TV to connect to our wireless router. It wasn't happening. I called Best Buy and they asked me what Sony recommended. Once we got past that joke, it was determined that I needed some hardware to get the TV to communicate with our router and upload the software upgrade. $200 and a few hours later, we had television again.

Aside from Sony's inadequate customer support, my real frustration is the initial problem. So, television works fine on Wednesday. Television is broke Thursday. The solution is...software upgrade?? Doesn't software upgrade imply some improvement or new feature not available before? Usually if you don't upgrade, doesn't that mean you just miss out on something that wasn't available, but now is? Should you not be able to continue in blissful ignorance, without whatever great new thing that's been added to enhance your viewing experience? I didn't realize "upgrade" meant continue to function as a television.

attitude is everything

2010-11-17T12:36:00.000-05:00

The new TSA security procedures are just a matter of attitude. Your "invasive" could be my "cheap thrill."

don't ask, don't tell

2010-10-18T13:45:00.014-05:00

Yes, it's baaaaack.

I've put this out there before and I'll do it again.

As a retired member of the U.S. Navy, I have NO problem dumping the military's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. I see amazing cost savings and the elimination of several logistical hurdles on our ships if we can dump this nonsense.

First, you just have to accept the premise, if it's OK for me to sleep and shower with openly gay guys on a ship that doesn't see land for weeks at a time, it should be just as OK for me to sleep and shower with openly straight women. I mean, why not? I can believe that not all openly gay guys want to jump my bones. Likewise, I can accept that not all openly straight women want that privilege as well. If you argue that straight men are pigs and won't be able to resist a huge shower room full of women, I have to ask...are gay people somehow immune to the same kinds of urges? Do they possess some magical power that stops them from doing something stupid that straight people lost along the way? Tell me yes and I'm raising the bullshit flag. Tell me no, and I have to assume all our young men and women sans uniform are in complete control of their sexuality and it will have no bearing on their ability to coexist and fight a war, or make it through 3 weeks in the middle of the Indian Ocean between ports fighting boredom.

That being the case, there should now be no reason for separate quarters, or bathrooms/showers. All the reasons to build gender specific facilities are gone now. We can take that logistical headache and make it a piece of the past. We should be able to populate all our ships with people, generally in their 20's, men and women, openly gay and straight, nakedly coexisting, and it shouldn't cause any sexual issues whatsoever. The effect on their ability to fight a war and be singularly focused on that objective, for their own good and the welfare of everyone else on that ship, should be unaffected. To suggest otherwise would make me some right wing fanatical homophobe. I mean, that's what we're saying, isn't it?

laziness begets ignorance

2010-10-18T12:43:00.002-05:00

"You know the Jaguars fans, the home crowd will not be a factor-"
-Antonio Pierce, ESPN SportsCenter

Ya know, after a while I just have to laugh. These talking heads who work for ESPN don't do much of anything if they can get away with doing nothing. I'm guessing Antonio Pierce has never been to a home Jaguar game. He's just jumping on the "Jacksonville is a pit" bandwagon. This year lots of stadiums are not selling out and blackouts are a huge issue. The national media has all kinds of economy excuses and they talk about how fans across the country are having a tough time making ends meet, let alone paying a few hundred dollars to take the family to a game. Not only that, you get a better view of the game from home on your TV, provided the game is being aired. Yeah, and last year when the Jaguars were having problems selling out the stadium, apparently none of these factors came into play. According to the national media, we just sucked.

Now, we have this piece of tripe. Yo Antonio "too lazy to do any actual research so I'll just make it up as I go" Pierce. Do us all a favor and actually watch tonight's game....and listen to the crowd.

2010-10-14T09:13:00.004-05:00

It was a tough, but great two days.

Once again, the youngster and I did the 100 mile first day in the MS Bike Ride, but this time my sister-in-law (who road tripped down with my mom and brother) did it with us, and she rocked! Sure, she was tired after that, but we all were. It was the first time she rode two consecutive days for that long, and the first time she experienced drafting behind someone in a pace line. She rode in groups up in Pennsylvania, but they ride a lot of hills, so they don't ride a constant speed on flat land for long periods of time like we do. Therefore they don't learn to trust the person in front of them to keep a constant speed and get as close as possible behind them to take advantage of the draft. She caught on though.

Saturday we got rained on a bit on the way south. The bike clothes are great for rain, because they dry out pretty quick once it stops. The one thing that doesn't dry out is socks. Once you soak them all the way through, you're just dealing with it until you can get to the finish line and peel them off your pruned up toes. By mile 40 (out of 102) the rain had pretty much let up. Then it was just a matter of gutting it out for the rest of the trip. One major disappointment was the 'century patch'. When you opt to ride 100 miles the first day, you swing by a rest stop that isn't on the normal route. In past years, you got handed a patch that said something to the effect that you did the century. It's just a little patch. If you actually DO the 100 miles though, it means a lot to you. It's a piece of the accomplishment...a momento if you will. Well, apparently they had all of about 50 of these patches. The lunberyard crew was NOT in the first 50 people to get to that rest stop and so...no patch for us. I was bummed, but we have been told the patches for those who did the century ride and weren't in the first 50 people there are coming. I'm crossing my fingers.

Sunday that drafting part became really important, because we faced a 20 mile an hour head wind all the way from Daytona to Saint Augustine. It was just brutal, but we persevered and got back to where we started.

My 4th MS Ride in the books!

It never gets old

2010-09-16T10:00:00.002-05:00

This will be my 4th year doing the Bike MS:PGA TOUR Cycle to the Shore, a two day, 150+ mile bike ride to benefit research for a cure for Multiple Sclerosis.

The journey began four and a half years ago, when I stepped on a scale and decided it was time to get my fat ass in gear and do....something...anything, that didn't involve a couch and a remote. That desire morphed its way into me becoming one of those obnoxious people who hug the right side of the road pretty much every weekend morning in clothes that shouldn't be seen in public.

Still, the journey's been a good thing, at least for me. I'm healthier than I've been since I was about twelve. I've stemmed and turned the momentum around that was turning me into an ever larger person, and I got myself involved in this great event.

It's about two and a half weeks away and this year, I'll be doing it with the youngster yet again, but my brother and sister-in-law are road tripping from the city of brotherly love, and my sister-in-law is riding with us. I'm already getting excited.

Craigslist

2010-07-28T08:46:00.003-05:00

I've had the opportunity to deal with/in craigslist lately (craigslist.org for the uninitiated). We bought the youngster's car there last fall, and recently, we sold his old bike there.

It works, but what struck me is the complete lack of consideration. People don't really know you, so they take it upon themselves to treat you like you don't matter.

I'd get e-mails on the youngster's bike, asking when someone could see it. We'd agree on a time and...no show. No show. No call. No e-mail. No nothing. I e-mailed one guy back and asked why. He bought a different bike. Well, OK, but would it be too much trouble to say something, so we aren't sitting around the house waiting on your ass?

If it happened once, I wouldn't whine too much, but this became a pattern. I had a bunch of people tell me they were incredibly interested, and asked when they could see it. The first six people who expressed an interest and set a time to see it never showed. The last guy who was 'very interested' wanted to see it right now...like in a half hour. I said OK, and told the wife. We both kind of smirked and wondered if he'd actually come. He did and he bought it.

Same thing happened when we bought the youngster's car. We set a time to look at one car. We were driving there at about 7:30 in the evening, and the wife called ahead to get more specific directions as we approached the seller's development. He sold the car that afternoon. Again, do you think you could have called us and saved us the trouble of road trippin' to your house to see a car that's no longer there?

So my lesson for the day...craigslist - yes, it works. you can buy and sell stuff there. There are deals to be had if you shop there. Just be prepared to be treated like shit along the way.

drivers vs. riders

2010-06-30T13:53:00.005-05:00

There's been a lot of accidents recently around here, involving cars and bicyclists, and it just kinda gets to me. In every case, especially if it makes the news, people from both sides get their panties in a wad and I keep thinking....can't we just get along?

First there's the drivers. I hear everything from "bikes don't belong on the road, so stay off it" to "I don't mind sharing, but those cyclists hog the whole thing, riding two and three across...and they don't obey the law. They blow through stop signs/red lights, etc. etc." to the best one (and I'm paraphrasing, but this was actually the comment) "if the speed limit says I can do 55 and I come around a blind curve and can't see you and hit you, that's your fault for being there."

On the cyclist side, I hear "the law says we can take the whole lane, so shut up"

I'm not going to address the people who say we shouldn't ride on the road. We can. We do. Get used to it and please watch out for us. For the people who say we don't obey the rules, you're right and I for one, apologize. I do obey the rules for the most part, and I cringe when I'm in a group that blows through a light, or I see those people on the road. They give all of us a bad name, and that pisses me off.

One caveat - there are time I will blow through a light. I ride several routes a lot, and I know the lights. I know which ones have sensors that can detect me and my bike and which ones can't, and the chances are about 50/50. I've sat at lights, waiting and waiting.....and waiting some more, and have it just not notice I'm there, until a car pulls up behind me. After doing that once at a specific light, I won't do it again. If the coast is clear, I'm pedaling. Most of the ones on newer roads can figure me out though, if I park right over the center and wait for them to change. Stop signs, I'll slow to a near stop and if I'm clear, I'm going. Complete stops are a pain in the butt if I don't have to. If its an intersection and I'm not there first, I stop and wait my turn.

The other complaint is about us hogging the whole road, and here again, I side with drivers, and I cringe when I see cyclists riding 3 abreast and socializing on the road. Yeah, the law says we can take the lane and cars should go around us. Just because the law says we can, doesn't mean we have to. I went on a memorial ride for a rider who was killed by a driver. It's done every year and follows his route to the place he was hit. There was a brief by the ride leader before hand, and it sounded downright militant. "We'll ride two abreast, filling the right lane at 12 miles an hour." Well damn, people...are we trying to piss people off? We really can ride single file and share the road...really share it. Just because the law allows you to be an asshole, doesn't mean you have to jump into the role with both feet.

I guess, I'm just asking everyone to think of the other people on the road. If you're in your car, please watch out for us. If the speed limit is 55 and you take a blind curve, hitting something around it is your fault. Slow down and take responsibility for what you're doing. If you have to wait a second to get around some bicyclists, well, slow down. If you're bicycling, do your best to stay to the right and really share the road. Take the space you need, but don't hog the lane, and when you get to red lights...stop. I'm tired of living with your reputation.

We could make this work if we all try to be a little more considerate.

Generals and Presidents

2010-06-23T15:30:00.001-05:00

Why is it generals only get called on the carpet for criticizing Presidents in Democratic administrations? Clinton fired a general for calling him a clueless, womanizing stoner (OK, it wasn't a LIE, but he shouldn't have said it)...now McChrystal. Coincidence?

steppin' it up a notch

2010-06-14T09:42:00.007-05:00

OK, so the youngster has his first 'official' girlfriend. Oh, there have been 'girlfriends' in the past, but they never got to the point where we actually met them, and they went out on dates and stuff. It was more like holding hands at high school football games, and two weeks later you didn't hear about them anymore. Although one went through a few cycles of that. We were still never introduced, but we heard stories through the grapevine.

Now though, we've met this one, even if I've only heard of her for about a week (so who knows how long it'll last). On Facebook, they both have their status as 'in a relationship' with the other. They've been to the movies, and out for smoothies, and he spends a lot of time at her house. Oh, and then there's the hickey he was sporting Saturday. The wife noticed before I did (of course...wives notice that sort of thing quickly), and went ballistic.

Ahhhh, the teenage years....

update 7/9 - less than a month later, it's over, but they're still friends. Just your average teenage relationship....

putting it to good use

2010-06-08T07:35:00.003-05:00

Coming up to the finish line at the Tour de Cure in May, on the new really cool bike.

just a bunch o' stuff

2010-06-02T09:33:00.003-05:00

It's been a month so I'll try to catch up, for anyone who still visits my little corner of the world.

The new bike thing is working out great. Had it for a month now and put over 300 miles on it. Part of that was Tour de Cure, a weekend charity ride benefitting the American Diabetes Association, which accounted for almost a third of the miles. Still don't have the pictures, but should soon.

The youngster is out of school for the summer and job hunting. It has hit me that we're going into his senior year of high school...damn time flies. I'm looking forward to the end of private school tuition, even if it means moving on to college tuition. I don't think the cost will change much, and the college thing we've somewhat budgeted for. Catholic high school has become a lot more expensive than I anticipated, and I'll be happy when that ends. As for the job hunting part, it's looking tough for kids in this economy. All the jobs kids used to get are currently occupied by people who used to have full time jobs elsewhere and can't find more substantial work, or kids who've had them for a while and aren't moving on. I'm crossing my fingers.

BP and the gulf - the fact that I'm very peeved at BP for getting us into this mess doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. Cutting those kinds of corners in the name of profit is unforgivable. I know a lot of people who are big on boycotting the company, and I can understand the sentiment. I'm just not sure that monitarily hurting the company, that is our best shot at fixing the issue, is our best approach. let 'em clean up their mess first. Then penalize them all you want.

the bike has arrived

2010-05-04T14:25:00.004-05:00

It still has a few tweaks coming. I wanted black handlebar tape, because white just shows dirt way too easily, but they said they'd have to charge extra for that, since it already came white. Since I figured I'd replace it eventually when I wore it out, I decided just to keep the white and when it comes time to replace it, I'd get it done in black.

Then I got fitted, and it turns out the handlebars are too narrow for me, and they have to get wider ones for me (it's part of the bike buying deal at a real bike shop). Since they have to strip the tape to replace the handlebars, they're going to do it in black when they put the new ones on...no charge to me! So in the end, it'll all work out.

The wife remarked that it looks really nice with white handlebars, which is true, but it won't look so nice when they're a dingy gray in a few months, so black it is.

the draft is coming...

2010-04-13T15:23:00.000-05:00

It has been leaked, with the first pick in this year's NFL draft, the St. Louis Rams will select Barak Obama. An unnamed source inside the Rams camp was quoted as saying, "True, the man's done nothing in football and skipped the combine, but he has unlimited potential and huge upside. It was good enough for the Nobel Peace Prize selection committee. It's good enough for us, and we think he'll put butts in seats. Can we sign him? Yes we can!"

bike search complete

2010-04-07T07:27:00.007-05:00

The bike search is officially over. The new weapon of choice will be the Bianchi Infinito. It's an Italian bike, which I didn't think made much of a difference until I made up my mind, based on the really cool picture, a video from the internet and pouring over a bunch of reviews in magazines and on the internet.

I went out in search of said bike and to my dismay...there isn't one to be found, at least around me. I was hoping to test ride one, but I can't find one, much less one in my size.

So I'm throwing caution to the wind and going for it. I ordered one. I was told it's on a boat in China. It'll take time to traverse the Pacific Ocean. Then time to cross the country. Then at least a week to get across the city of J'ville. I'm thinking mid-May. If I had picked a bike made in the U.S., none of that would be an issue. I'd have had several to test in different configurations and be on the thing already.

Mid-May is not as much of a big deal for me as it is the youngster. I still have my current bike, which fits me just fine. The youngster is the one struggling, because his bike definitely doesn't fit him. My bike, after talking to the bike shop guys, is one size too big for him, but they can make it fit, until he grows a little more and then it becomes the perfect size for him. He, more than I, can't wait for my new bike to show up, so we can put him on my bike and craigslist the one he's got now.

It'll happen when it happens though. The boat's not moving any faster just because my bike's on it

4/23 - OK, it gets worse. Instead of slowly getting closer, the bike is actually getting farther away. It's not on a boat. Apparently it's a very popular bike. They oversold their stock. I'm on a waiting list, but as the sales guy at my bike shop said, "I talked to the Bianchi rep. and he doesn't think it'll be a problem." OK, so you have my money for a bike on which you can't guarantee delivery, let alone a delivery date. For whom is that not already a problem?

April has us bike shopping

2010-04-01T12:13:00.004-05:00

I know, we just bought nice bikes.

And if you're saying that, you'd be right - sort of.

When I bought the youngster's bike, I purposedly didn't go too nice/expensive. He was in 8th grade and I knew he'd grow. We needed a bike reliable enough to do 100 mile rides...a decent road bike. It didn't have to be super light with top of the line components or anything, though.

Well, it's two and a half years later now, and he's grown about a foot. He was complaining that his bike shoes, that he got for Christmas 2008, were too small. We went to the bike shop to get a larger size. The guys at the bike shop set him up, but they wanted to watch him on the bike, so they knew if they had to adjust the cleats that attach the shoes to the bike...so he rode it around the parking lot while they watched....and started shaking their heads.

The bike is way too small for him. They've already used tubes on the handlebars to extend them out, and seat posts that are offset to put the actual seat back farther. We're at the point where there's nothing more to do, and they were showing me that his knees were getting in the way of his elbows. He just needs a bigger bike.

I could just get him a larger version of what he has now, but I have a better idea - better for me anyway. He's grown enough that he can ride my bike - and he wants my bike. I don't blame him. It's a nice light carbon fiber frame bike. In the meantime, I've learned a little about bikes in the last 3 years, and have a better idea of what I want to be riding. As I see it, this is a perfect time for John o' the Lumberyard to get a new bike, and pass his down to the youngster. He's excited about the idea. I'm excited about the idea. The wife is even on board, if not quite as excited as either the youngster or me.

So....John's bike shoppin'. I have a few bikes in mind, but I'll use this month to do research and maybe in May we'll get something new. We'll see.

The President addresses the troops

2010-03-29T07:24:00.001-05:00

BREAKING NEWS... President Obama has made a surprise visit to Afghanistan... Still waiting for Joe Biden to clarify how big a deal this is, and Sarah Palin to find a reason to denounce it...

I swear, BOTH sides continually find a way to make me wish there were more options.

My government's taking care of me!

2010-03-23T08:31:00.002-05:00

Wooo Hoooo! We just passed the "everybody gets health care" bill and Obama's celebrating with his allies. I want to get in on the party. Here, Barak. Here's five bucks. Have a cigrarette...on me.

another month - just more stuff

2010-03-05T11:47:00.005-05:00

It's got to be about the coldest winter in general that I've experienced in Florida. It's March, and there was frost on my car this morning. Usually I see frost...maybe twice a winter. This year is the first one where I actually thought about buying an ice scraper, but I'd have to travel too far north just to find one in a store. Global warming - go figure.

You know your kids are growing up too fast when...Valentines Day, the wife and I went to visit friends in the afternoon for a few hours. When we came home, apparently before the youngster and his 'company' expected us, we interrupted something. Not the youngster...but two of his friends (boyfriend and girlfriend) who asked him if they could use our guest room to lose their virginity on Valentines Day. The youngster, being quite the host, agreed to help them out, expecting us to be gone most of the day. Oooops! It made for a fun evening, talking to parents that I've met, but don't really know. Redefining TMI talking to the girl's mom ("This is a girl who won't even use a tampon."), and later finding out from the youngster that we got home before they actually had a chance to do anything....so major production, kids in trouble, and they didn't even get to do what they were in trouble for.

Tiger day at work - Tiger made his big "I'm sorry" speech less than 500 yards from where I sit at work. Honestly though, it all mattered to me personally very little. They made us park about a half a mile away and there were security people all over the place. Had to talk my way past one of them as I walked from my car to work. Apparently I was taking a short cut that they hadn't anticipated. I was told I couldn't be where I was, which made no sense, because I was. That was followed by the 'what do we do now' conundrum. I pointed to the building I was walking to, and assurred the person that they could watch me walk the whole way there. I had a photo ID, so it was apparent I kinda belonged there, so I was allowed to keep walking. The place was pretty much deserted though, because they let next to nobody through. You could hear a pin drop in the parking lot. It was surreal. By 1:00 the whole thing was over, but still the parking lot was empty. It was just strange. Throughout, the only noise came from a helicopter circling. My assumption - tabloid press.

I've had an on again/off again cold all winter. Couple that with the chilly weather and my workout regimen has suffered greatly. Now that I'm feeling healthy and it's getting just a tiny bit warmer and I'm exercising again...sometimes...I'm the one suffering.

just stuff

2010-02-09T08:39:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's a new month, and more shit happens. Luckily its nothing serious.

The youngster had his first (and I hope last, but that's probably wishful thinking) car accident. He's fine. Well, he has a nasty cold, but it has nothing to to with the accident. He was the third car back at a light that turned yellow. The first car stopped short. the second car did the same to aviod the first. The youngster stopped short to avoid what was in front of him. The fourth car didn't. he got rear ended, but not violently. The car needs some work and is in the shop.

Sunday morning he travelled to Gainsville for a bike race. His buddies wanted to do it, although none of them ever had been in a real race. Two dads took them down for it on a very chilly morning. They had fun, but came nowhere close to winning. One group from South Florida showed up with teams in each age group using racing tactics and stuff. They pretty much smoked everybody. Our guys were just there pedaling as fast as they could, and that wasn't going to cut it. Still, like I said, they had a good time and learned a little about bike racing. After that, the youngster came home and almost immediately started feeling bad. he stayed home from school yesterday with a cold.

I'm still battling one of those. I'm feeling pretty good now, but still not 100%. I'll get there though.

I hope anyone still reading this place is doing well. I know I don't come close to updating it like I used to, but I seem to have less to say and not enough time to say it.

new month

2010-02-01T08:59:00.003-05:00

Well, we're starting a new month, and hopefully that means all the drama is done. I realize that just because the date changed to the 1st of a new month really doesn't matter all that much, but a guy can hope, can't he?

The TV/entertainment center issue is all resolved. The wall is painted, the old stuff is gone and the new stuff is in, and looks pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I still have one wiring issue that's a minor detail, but I'll straighten that out one day. The TV works, the DVD player works and both happen in surround sound. The CD player works and can be heard either inside or through the speakers on the back porch...so all the important stuff is doing what it should.

The youngster/girl/toilet paper episode is long behind us. The only piece of that still grates on me is the kid who pissed on the youngster's car never apologized. His mother came over and did, but she's not the one who did the deed. I know. Let it go...and I pretty much have. The fact that it doesn't seem right isn't my problem.

So on to February. Let's get through another month of winter. Hopefully I'll get the taxes done while keeping warm and no other costly surprises come our way. To put it all in perspective though, I consider myself pretty blessed. Considering the state of the world right now, all I have to whine about is having to get a new TV and a mess in the driveway. The wife and I still have jobs and have a nice roof over our heads. No earthquakes. I'm battling a cold, but no major illness. No layoffs...yet. I have a lot to be grateful for.

girls, toilet paper, and urine

2010-01-19T13:31:00.005-05:00

My, how life gets complicated all of a sudden.

We woke up yesterday morning to find our house TP'd. The house, the trees, the bushes...decorated in toilet paper. The youngster's car...covered in toilet paper and icing...like cake icing, all up in the door handles and smeared across the body.

OK...ha ha...someone was having fun at the youngster's expense. No big deal.

He and I cleaned it up, since I was off for the day due to Marty's birthday. I helped with the toilet paper, but I told him the icing was all his. I wasn't getting into that mess.

When he finished with the icing, he remarked how it stunk. We thought it was just from sitting out the whole time....but no.

The youngster spent the vast majority of the rest of the day playing detective...trying to get whatever information he could from neighborhood kids. He had no idea who would do it or why. As far as he knew, he hadn't crossed anybody...until....

The unofficial kid/parent rumor mill has it this way. There's a girl (isn't it always a girl?) who was "going out" with a guy in the neighborhood. Apparently, she recently dumped him, because the girl now likes the youngster. She hasn't told the youngster this. I got that information from another parent. The youngster does know who did it. He doesn't know why. It was three boys. One he knows as a friend of a friend. then there's the dumpee...he doesn't know very well. the third...another friend of the dumpee...he doesn't know. He knows their names and can recognize them, but they aren't people he's ever socialized with. The nasty smell came from the fact that the friend of a friend took the opportunity to urinate on his car in the icing and toilet paper.

The girl in question told him who did it last night, but she failed to mention why. I overheard him asking her, "Why is it I think when I finally figure out why they did this, your name will be in there somewhere?"

The kid's getting smarter by the day.

addendum: The unofficial kid rumor mill had it wrong. It wasn't the girl after all. One of the kid's house was TP'd earlier in the evening and he thought the youngster did it, so this was retaliation. Unfortunately for us, we paid for someone else's deeds. The culprits were supposedly (again, all updated information comes via the same semi-reliable kid rumor mill that had it wrong before) friends of this kid's older brother. That kid has apologized to the youngster. He wasn't the urinator though. The urinator (the kid's sidekick in the deed) has yet to apologize.

the TV saga continues

2010-01-11T08:42:00.003-05:00

So, we've painted...and the new piece of furniture the TV will sit on (it is an entertainment center, but there's no hole for the TV to sit in, so we won't be constrained in the future) is on order. It should be here by the end of the month.

In the meantime, we've switched to a cable package that has high definition channels, so we can see what all the hubub is about.

I don't watch that much TV, except for sports. The television is more the wife's and mom-in-law's (when she comes to town) domain. As such, I'm less excited about this whole TV ordeal than the wife is, but she's loving it. I, however, will admit - football in high def is awesome! I was skeptical about seeing a real difference, but there is one, and it's pretty cool. Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire was on the Family Channel last night) in high def is a different experience as well. Worth the price of admission? The jury's still out.

Now, if we could just have the weather remember that we live in Florida, and get the temperatures above freezing....maybe I'll get myself outside the freakin' house and doing things, so I don't become such an expert on how much better my TV picture is....

the anatomy of getting a new TV

2010-01-05T11:09:00.004-05:00

Long ago in a lumberyard far away, the wife wanted an entertainment center...so we bought one. At the time we had a 30" television, or something like that, and this new 3 piece set of solid and fairly heavy wood took up an entire wall...with the TV in the middle. It was so big it affected the decision on which model of house we would build when we bought our current house. It had to have a wall that could fit the entertainment center.

Then, about the time we moved into our current abode, the TV died. John went to the then non-bankrupt Circuit City with a tape measure, and found the latest/greatest TV that would fit in the entertainment center. That was a 32" model by Panasonic. It had a flat screen and was HD capable, but wasn't one of the nice thin things they sell today. It also weighed a ton. We had to enlarge the hold in the back of the entertainment center to fit the thing in there...and we did.

Then, a few years later, we had the house painted. The room with the entertainment center turned yellow, or something between yellow and brown. I'm sure women could give that color a more descriptive name that might also be the name of a food or something, but I'm a guy, so it's somewhere between yellow and brown. Some of the area behind the entertainment center didn't get painted because between the weight of the entertainment center and the TV, it was just too heavy. yes, we could have moved the TV out and moved the entertainment center, but nobody could see back there, so what the hell.

All was well with the world...until....

The TV died.

So we need a new TV. Since we're getting a new TV, we decided to leap into the 21st century and get something new and cool. The problem is...of course it won't fit in the entertainment center...so it has to go. Once it goes, there's this huge white spot behind where it used to reside. It also has to go.

So now, to replace the TV, we have to replace the entertainment center, find a new spot for all the other stuff that used to live in it, paint the wall...and then replace the TV. The economy is loving me and my shrinking savings account.

an addendum....
The new TV has an internet cabability. Ooooohhhh cooool, you say. Well, it ain't all that. My neighbor, who's big into electronics and challenges, took it upon himself to take advantage of this capability. He came over and wired the TV into our router, so we had the internet. When I saw what that means, I was a little underwhelmed. I can look at you-tube videos, and if we set up a netflix account, I can strem movies into our house. OK, that's something, but I don't know that I'll do much of that. I can put a widget on my TV with the current weather through Yahoo....why? Long story short...we discovered when he connected the TV to the router, for some reason we lost our wireless capability. No internet/texting for the youngster's i-touch. No internet capability for the wife's laptop....or mine for that matter, which I use to VPN into work when I'm on call. No internet capability for the Wii. We;ll, through a series of troubleshooting steps, I figured out that it was the TV connection, and if I disconnected that, unplugged the router from the wall socket and plugged it back in, we got our wireless ability back....so we're up a laptop and i-touch, but for now, no streaming movies, which I don't really miss because I never could before.

seasons greetings

2009-12-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

To All My Liberal Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the reader.

To My Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

more quick hits

2009-12-08T12:38:00.004-05:00

I'm getting real tired of the Tiger Woods debacle. Maybe it's that it's so ugly, I want to look away, but I can't. Everywhere I look, he's there. This Sunday's sports page in the local fish wrap sported an article about how the black community is feeling discriminated against in his choice of mistresses. Let me wrap my head around this one. You're pissed because he only ruined the lives of a bunch of white hos? Couldn't find a nice black ho to send spinning in a tabloid nightmare. I'm sorry, but that's a bit warped.

Florida Gators - people around here are hanging their heads. I can't say I knew who would win the SEC Championship game, but before the game, a lot of my friends were talking about it like it was some foregone conclusion....show up in Atlanta, stomp on Alabama again on the way to the National Championship game. I kept telling them Alabama wasn't going to just play into their plans. The Tide played into their own plans. Now the same story is coming again....Alabama just has to show up and someone's going to hand them the National Championship. I think Texas may have a little to say about that. I'm glad they actually play the games, so all the experts get to see that they aren't.

In Division 2, where they actually have a playoff in college football, my little school from mainline Philly is actually in the semifinals. Go Wildcats!

2000 - 2009 is supposedly the warmest decade on record. Gotta wonder....who fudged the numbers? Even if it's correct, those climatological scientists are going to deal with ethics issues for a while, which could prove costly.

quick hits and more stuff with Donna

2009-12-01T08:46:00.004-05:00

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Ours was smaller than usual. No family other than mom-in-law came into town, and all our military family friends actually had husbands back, so nobody else joined us. It was just mom-in-law, the youngster, the wife and me. Consequently, we did a 7 pound turkey breast instead of the whole turkey thing...and we are now leftover turkey free. It was a nice day with just the four of us.

Saturday the wife and I participated in the Players 5k with Donna, another breast cancer benefit. We are not runners, so we walked it...along with a bunch of other people. It was a chilly 39° when we started, but it warmed up a little and so did we, while we walked. Overall, it was a fun way to spend a morning and benefited a good cause.

Tiger Woods...the guy backs into a tree in his neighborhood and all of a sudden people are talking divorce and affairs and whatnot. I think someone was playing a game of "naughty nanny" and things got out of hand with the golf club....but who am I to say. It's his life. Does anybody (other than Nancy Grace, who needs to fill air time with something) really care?

Bobby Bowden is supposedly announcing his future today. I hope he doesn't drag his tenure at Florida State on any longer. It was once a proud dynasty and it's becoming more sad and pathetic by the day. Watching FSU get trounced by UF last Saturday and shots of him on the sideline, he just looks like a confused old man having trouble finding his teeth. It's time to sit on the front porch in a Country Time Lemonade commercial.

Biking 26.2 with Donna

2009-11-16T17:34:00.008-05:00

Donna is a local news talking head who has battled breast cancer...at least twice that I know of. maybe three times. She's fairly athletic, and last year organized a marathon that benefited breast cancer research at the Mayo Clinic. She called it 26,2 with Donna, and it was a huge success.

I don't run. Long ago my knees and I made a pact. If I agreed not to run as a regular form of exercise, they'd agree to continue to function as knees. If I were to run like I did in my 20's, they threatened replacement surgery...so I listened, and agreed. Therefore I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the 26.2 with Donna.

This year, however, quite by accident I found a related bike event. A few weeks ago while googling something else, I came upon Bike 26.2 with Donna. It was a bike event, riding 26.2 miles, benefiting the same cause....breast cancer research at Mayo. It was the marathon distance, but it was bicycling. The event was being held a little less than 10 miles from home.

The synapses started firing in the old Lumberyard brain. I mean...breast cancer research. Worthy cause. I mean, we're talkin' breasts here. Women have 'em. Men love 'em. Gotta save 'em. We wouldn't even have to pack up the car. We could ride from home to the event. Do their 26.2 miles. Then ride back home. Talked to the youngster. he was in. Talked to my neighbor, who rode the MS ride with us and his boys. They're in too.

The ride was yesterday. We got up and walked outside to a chilly 50º morning. It was sunny, but cold. The weatherman promised it'd get warm, but we weren't close to there yet. It wasn't too bad, until we started moving. Once we were doing 18 miles an hour, it was pretty chilly. We were wearing long sleeves under bike jerseys, but just bike shorts. It felt worst on the hands, which even with bike gloves were feeling a bit numb. Everyone was looking at me, and asking, "Whose idea was this?"

The nastiness lasted the whole 8 or 9 miles to the event. We got there about 7:45, and it didn't start until 8:30. That 45 minutes was my savior, because it warmed up quite a bit while we waited. I wasn't expecting a huge turnout. Like I said, I found it by accident, and it wasn't very well publicized. If I wasn't internet surfing one night, I never would have known about it. I was wrong though. I don't know who got the word out, but even if I wasn't in the information pipeline, a lot of people were. There were hundreds of people and cars all over the place.

The ride was beautiful. It was still cool, but not cold anymore, and it was sunny. We were riding out to the beach and along it. I really enjoyed it. It involved back and forth trips across a sizable bridge over the intracoastal waterway...a pretty good workout, and some nice scenery.

The youngster is at the point where he can kick my ass on a bike. So far he's polite enough not to. He held back and stayed with me so we could cross the finish line together. The line of the morning..."Lets ride in together, Dad. You know there will be cameras. Try not to look tired." Yeah. Thanks, buddy. I love you, too. Still, we weren't slouches. I'd say we finished in the top 50 to 75 people, and easily in the top 10% of the field. He was right, too. There were cameras, and they did catch us, but they won't let you download pictures...just link to them and buy prints.

Once we hit the finish line, we hung out for a while, checking out the booths and sponsor tents. I've never really tried protein drinks before, and now I can say...I'm not a big fan. That stuff's a bit chalky. The smoothie booth made for a good chaser to get that taste out of my mouth.

From there we took it kinda slow back home...finishing at about 44 miles on the morning and home by 11:00. It was a blast though.

a new level of concern

2009-11-06T14:09:00.001-05:00

Much like it really is true that you never knew you could love anything so much, as when you have and love your first child. I never knew I could worry, or be concerned about someone so much...as when that first child first drove an automobile solo...out in the real world.

Last night I had radar ears, waiting for the front door to open.

trouble's brewing

2009-11-04T08:04:00.004-05:00

I know the Yankees are going to win...excuse me...buy the World Series. I don't have to like it though. I hate what the Yankees have done to baseball. I used to like baseball a lot more than I do. There are several reasons that it's lost its luster in my eyes, but right up there is the New York Yankees. They've taken baseball and turned it into a warped version of Supermarket Sweep. Baseball isn't a competition anymore. It's not a sport. It's something to be bought and sold. What used to be a real sport is now a tired ancient game show....and that's sad. Yankee fans tell me to just get over it, but how do you get over that? Getting over it doesn't make it any less wrong.

Then there's the other sobering news. The youngster passeed his driver's license test this afternoon. Be wary America!

you know you're a bit warped when...

2009-10-29T07:38:00.002-05:00

...you enjoy watching one team win a baseball game, but you get far more enjoyment out of watching the other team lose.

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-26T12:45:00.009-05:00

I guess i should preface this with...I'm not a scary movie person. I don't watch them. I don't enjoy them. I'm a comedy guy...or an action thriller guy. I like to be made to laugh or be wowed...and horror flicks don't do that for me.

Friday night the youngster came to me with a request.

"Dad, there's this movie I want to see with my friends, but it's rated 'R' for language. Can I go?"

The conversation went from there into what movie, and who wanted to go, and they needed an adult to take them and buy the tickets, since they're all 15 or 16. It's a really scary movie, and pretty much, they're all daring each other to see it. After some research, I decided it was OK, so I agreed to take the lot of them to see Paranormal Activity on Saturday night.

Mom-in-law was in town, so I arranged to take the kids, buy their tickets and leave to meet the wife and mom-in-law at a nearby restaurant for dinner. Another kid's mom was going to pick them up after the movie ended. So far, so good....almost.

We get to the theater, and the attendant informs me I have to have a ticket, and I have to see the movie with them. The kids came in more than one car, and the number I'm now 'accompanying' has increased dramatically. They buy me a ticket, and we discuss sneaking me out after the lights go down. Inside the movie, more of their friends appear with two other adults. The adults all have the same plan. Let the movie start and leave. So far, so good...almost.

The lights go down and one mom leaves, and about 5 minutes later, returns. The movie theater naziiiiierrrrrr...employees followed her...to the concession stand...into the rest room..and informed her they expected her to return to the theater with the kids she brought, or they were throwing them out. I called the wife and told her to go ahead and eat with her mom. I was trapped.

And trapped I was...in the most boring piece of crap movie I've seen in a very long time. It was about as stupid as another movie I took the youngster to...when he was seven...the Pokemon movie. It was equally scary, too, but the Pokemon movie moved faster, and with that one, I knew what I was getting into. This time, I had no intention of seeing a movie, particularly a really bad boring one instead of having a decent meal.

This wasn't scary. I don't think it kept any of those kids up that night. In fact, it was hard staying awake while I was still in the theater. You spend the majority of the movie watching two people sleep. I was jealous. It crawled at a snail's pace, and I kept looking at my watch, wondering how much more I had to endure. The recurring thought I had was....I could be eating steak right now. After it was over, one of the kids, in an effort to rationalize a decent reason for spending $10 on what he just sat through, said, "Well, it did startle you a few times." Sure, and if you would have stayed home, you could sit in a chair and have one of your friends clap his hands behind you when you don't expect it. You'd be just as startled and $10 richer. Bottom line, that's 98 minutes of my life I'm not getting back....and that's the most horrifying thing about this supposed horror flick.

dude...they're shoes for cryin' out loud

2009-10-23T15:17:00.002-05:00

Michael Jordan's son, Marcus, is refusing to wear Adidas shoes when he plays basketball at the University of Central Florida. The school has a contract with Adidas, who supplies all their athletic shoes. Marcus says he'll only wear Nike Air Jordans, because the shoes hold special meaning for his family.

OK, they put food on your table and probably bought your car, but they're shoes for cryin' out loud. If they mean that much to you, go to a school that's sponsored by Nike. Don't go shitting all over your school's sponsorship parade over a pair of freaking shoes. Wear what they give you when you play and get over it. After the game, you can put on the shoes that mean so much to you and your family.

it's a sweep!

2009-10-23T08:48:00.011-05:00

In an unprecedented move, the Heisman Trophy Trust will not be sending ballots to the traditional Heisman Trophy voters this year. Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy et. al. can relax and watch the ceremony with the rest of America on the couch, as it has already been announced that this year's winner will be Barak Obama.

FOX and CW are now scrambling for programming, as the reality show titans, American Idol and America's Next Top Model, have also mailed it in...Barak Obama.

In other news, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced it has awarded the Oscar for Best Picture for the upcoming year. Yes, it's Barak Obama. Responding to criticism that Obama isn't actually a motion picture, the Academy defended its decision, saying that Obama's rise from poor black child raised by his grandmother to the Presidency instills such hope in small ideas that dream of one day becoming blockbuster movies, that his influence was just impossible to ignore.

People magazine fans are now waiting with baited breath for the announcement of the sexiest man alive. Who could it be?

it bugs me, and it really shouldn't

2009-10-21T07:23:00.010-05:00

Times are tough. People are losing jobs, or getting their pay cut either by getting salaries reduced or cutting hours for hourly workers. No matter what kind of spin the administration or economists want to put on the recession and it being "over"..tell that to the folks who are scraping by on unemployment or worse, whose benefits have run out and they're still looking. I know all this.

I know some of my family and friends are affected, even if they don't talk about it. It's not something you bring up when someone asks, "How's it going?" You don't want to admit you're barely making it...so you say "fine" and just move along. The conversation would just make it all the more painful. But I know it's happening. I know of people who have been affected, either by losing jobs or wages. I know of one person close to me that it's happening to for certain. Other than that one, I know of nobody, but it has to be happening. Why would the nation be having issues and by some miracle, most of my close friends and family are unscathed? It isn't possible. I know that too.

Still...I've been doing this bike ride thing for the past three years, begging my family and friends for money to donate to a pretty worthy cause in the National MS Society. Each year, for the most part, they've been stepping up. Some more than others, but the overall response has been pretty good. This year it's dropped off quite a bit...and that's not the part that bothers me. Like I said, I understand people probably have more pressing needs.

I do have issues with some of the people though. For example...one family member of the in law variety asked me earlier this year, if I could get him and his friends on an exclusive golf course in town. He flew in from halfway across the country to play. His friends drove down from Georgia. They played for close to nothing (like $40 on a course where the greens fees alone are over $250). Now, I would think when I come calling for a worthy cause...one or more of these guys would be jumping right on it, out of gratitude if nothing else, but no. Nada. It's not like it just slipped the in law's mind. I'm not bashful about not-very-subtle hints. He's had e-mails with pictures from the ride and a link to where he can donate.

This really shouldn't bother me. I didn't help them out on the expectation that there'd be some kind of pay back. They could well be having financial issues I know nothing about. They could have any number of reasons why they can't or don't want to support my little cause, and none of that should bother me.

So....why does it?

quick hits

2009-10-13T07:55:00.003-05:00

Well, it was a weekend for biting the bullet.

First there was the issue of a vehicle for the youngster. I've been agonizing over this for months...not the actual act of purchase, because it's become a necessity, but how to afford it, what we can get for how much money, all that. I think we found something dependable, small, good on gas, and he likes it. Learned a lot about buying cars on cragslist.com. If you find something you think will work, you need to pounce fast. The decent cars for a decent price disappear in less than a day.

Then there was the event I've been dreading for years...the one ending in 'oscopy'. That one's now behind me, figuratively and literally. The prep for it was everything I expected, and nothing I want to do again soon. The actual procedure was a walk in the park...or maybe a nap in the park. I woke up in a drug induced haze and was told it was over. I sort-of remember being led back to where my clothes were, and putting them on, and the wife picking me up and taking me home. The whole day is a fuzzy memory though. That's 24 hours I'll never get back.

Then there was the Jaguars. A few weeks ago I said I witnessed the worst performance ever by my team. I should have added the word 'yet'. Lets just say, between prepping for Monday's 'oscopy' thing and watching the Seahawks pummel my team, that was about the shittiest Sunday evening I've ever experienced.

another year, another great bike ride

2009-10-06T07:43:00.002-05:00

It really does seem to get better every year. The last two years we dealt with lots of wind and rain. Not so this year. I was beginning to think we'd never catch a break, but we had fantastic weather.

Yes, we're talking what has become an annual event in the Lumberyard, the MS Bike Ride from Saint Augustine to Daytona and back. Saturday on the way to Daytona, we actually had a tailwind most of the way. The youngster did the century (100 mile) route with me and a neighbor. The neighbor's two sons also rode with us - all of them doing the trip for the first time.

Sunday, a little bit of a headwind, but not too bad, and it was overcast, so not too hot. Seriously, we couldn't realistically ask for better weather.

Not only that, but a photographer was at the finish line to take this picture...which I will treasure for the rest of my life. Times like this don't come around all too often

are vampires the new gay?

2009-09-25T08:17:00.002-05:00

There was a time when, if you wanted to be "edgy" on TV, you put a gay person in your show. Same with movies. If you wanted to raise an eyebrow and add some trendiness to your movie, insert gay person here. Then, after a few years, sticking gay people in everything got overdone, and it got to the point where all the reaction you got was a yawn.

Are vampires doing the same thing? No, the controversy isn't really there with vampires, but damn...entertainment seems to be oozing bloodsuckers. If you want to be cool and edgy, insert vampire here. Need a box office jump? Add a vampire. Maybe because I never really caught on with the whole vampire thing, but I'm about sick of them. They seem to be just about everywhere you turn. At one time, it was kinda novel and interesting, but it's been overdone already. Is it just me, or has the whole vampire thing jumped the shark?

the MS ride is right around the corner

2009-09-24T09:59:00.003-05:00

The youngster and I got our freebies last night for this year's weekend trek from Saint Augustine to Daytona and back to benefit the Multiple Sclerosis Society. It comes in less than two weeks.

It's the first year our team jersey is sleeveless, which doesn't suit me and my farmer tan all that well, but that's life. I still think it's pretty cool.

The Jaguars

2009-09-21T12:46:00.002-05:00

My optimism for a respectable Jaguars season took a serious dive yesterday.

We've had season tickets for 15 years...since the birth of the franchise. I may be suffering from selective memory, and perhaps some other piece of ugliness was so bad I've wiped it from my collective consciousness...but, what I witnessed yesterday looked an awful lot like the worst performance I have ever seen from our football team. It was so bad, it would have been funny if I didn't care so much...

Yo Kanye West

2009-09-14T12:26:00.003-05:00

You're amazing
so amazing
lyrically challenged but amazing
too amazing
way rude but amazing
just amazing
so amazing
so amazing
get over yourself amazing
too amazing
you're amazing
a waste of amazing.....

Jamaican me crazy

2009-09-10T07:51:00.005-05:00

The youngster came home from school about a week ago, and we had dinner. Having dinner together has always been a staple for us. From what I hear, it isn't with everybody, and I've always taken it for granted. I'm starting to realize the value of doing that, but I'm also realizing I'm getting off track.

At dinner, he got all serious and I was thinking...oh shit, what happened at school that you're telling me about before I get either the phone call or e-mail. It was nothing like that though. It was...every year the school organizes a few mission trips to some impoverished part of the Caribbean. This year, he really really really wants to go. The cost is...well, it ain't cheap. They'd be doing some undetermined (as of yet) project in a very poor part of Jamaica. Last year they built a house for 8 people. It'd be something like that. Lots of prayer. Lots of reflection. Lots of work.

I was proud that he'd want to go. maybe taking him with me to do community service in Jacksonville's poorer neighborhoods is rubbing off. Still, it's not something we can just write a check for. This will require some sacrifice and budgeting.

Last night there was a meeting, for families with kids considering this trip. My main concern was the only one that had been presented to me so far. Cost. I hadn't even given thought to the other possibilities, and the meeting opened my eyes. There was discussion about disease, injury, civil unrest, and other possibilities and how those get handled. The fact that no matter what you do, there is an element of risk involved that you have to be willing to accept, was borne out. One parent asked how much the kids are supervised when there's free time, and they go out on the town on their own. The guy laughed. He said, first, there is some free time, but the days are pretty packed and it's not like the kids have time to go out on the town much. The few times they do, though, they're chaperoned.

Another part that became evident was, just because you raise your hand and say, "I want to" doesn't mean you go. About 35 kids get this opportunity, and I saw about 50 at the meeting. There is a selection process, and the first criteria is trustworthiness. On that point I have little concern for the youngster. The second though, is grades. It's been well documented here that the youngster struggles with ADD, and his grades have been an issue. This year he seems to have matured quite a bit, and the grades are better, but still under constant surveillance. If there's one place in the selection process where someone else will go and he won't, this is probably it.

I want him to go. I think it'd be an amazing experience for him. If he gets selected, we'll do whatever we have to, to get him there. I'm just crossing my fingers that he doesn't get chopped off at the knees before he even gets started. I guess I need to figure out that whole passport process. I've been all over the place, but that was in my former military life, and a passport wasn't required. Now, I need to figure out how you get one of those, and all I know so far is...the post office can help.

go to class. do good. make us all proud

2009-09-08T07:14:00.004-05:00

I think it's fairly well documented that my views are slightly right of center. Ok, maybe more than slightly. Still, I don't blindly go running with whatever comes down the conservative pike, and I don't buy the idea that whatever is being pushed by liberals is automatically the devil's spawn.

So it is with this speech the President wants to give to school children. I really don't get the uproar and opposition. People are actually refusing to let their kids to listen to the President tell them to do well in school...Why? Because he's Barak Obama? The President wants to tell kids to take responsibility for themselves and kick butt in school. In my mind, that's a tip of the hat to conservative America. Grab some personal responsibility, kids. Don't expect anyone else to do things for you. Don't wait for your government to do things for you. Don't expect the "village" to do things for you. You have the ability to be somebody. Do them for yourself.

I feel like there's a warped segment of people...people I usually tend to agree with...who are basing judgement on, "If Obama's for it, I'm against it." Let's not be throwing the baby out with the bath water. If the guy wants to tell our kids to study hard, I hope my kid listens. It certainly can't hurt.

not ready to drink the koolaid

2009-09-04T15:54:00.002-05:00

Everybody wants to get all giddy because the jaguars looked good in their last preseason game.

The passing game has sucked in recent years and looked much improved in that game. There was a pass rush, which had been missing before. The offensive and defensive lines looked much better than in previous weeks. They dominated the Redskins.

Yeah...but.....

First, it was the Redskins. It wasn't Indianapolis.

Second, it was the Redskin second and third string. Unlike the Jaguars, the Redskins first string players had already proven they can play, and got to sit out the last preseason game. The Jaguars played against the guys who aren't sure if they're good enough to make the team. They're playing for a spot. So, there's a reason they're playing. They aren't as good as the guys who took the night off. If they Jaguars didn't look good against those guys, I'd be really worried.

I'm encouraged by the execution the Jaguars displayed, but I'm not buying into the idea that they can do the same things against top shelf talent. That, I still need to see.

the pots and pans circle jerrrrrr....game

2009-08-31T08:40:00.008-05:00

A long time ago..I wanna say about 20 years, maybe longer (might have even been about when we got married)...my parents bought us some pots and pans. They were really nice pots and pans, and they served us well. We used them for everything, until about 2 years ago. The wife announced she didn't like them anymore. She also announced there was some special deal going on at the grocery store...buy a pot/pan a week for a special price. They were lighter. They were a pretty blue. They were all teflon coated and came with power windows, sunroof, cruise control and wireless internet access. They were...in the pot world...da bomb.

So we bought them, a week at a time. When we had the whole set, we gave the old stuff to our niece, who was just starting to make her way in the world, and could use pots and pans.

After about a year and a half, the handles on the lids of these fancy new cheap ass pots started breaking. The first went when I was holding it by the handle to wash it. I was ridiculed for washing it 'too hard', but soon I wasn't the only victim. One by one we lost them. The lids still functioned, but you needed a screw driver or pliers and pot holders to get the lid off, because the handles were worthless.

Finally, this weekend, the wife had enough. We went pot and pan shopping, and came home with a new set. We've come full circle. It's an updated version (because it's 20 years later), but basically...they're the same brand and stuff we used to have. Maybe we learned a lesson.

Rick Pitino's had enough?

2009-08-26T15:16:00.004-05:00

Rick Pitino held a press conference today to say that the sex scandal he's in the middle of has been pure hell for his family, and that he's had enough.

Really? It's been pure hell for your family? Really? DUH.

You've had enough? Oooooh I don't think so, Ricky. You're going to get a whole lot more before it's all said and done. I don't think the "you've had enough" call is yours to make, and to say you've had enough is playing a smugness card that frankly, isn't in your hand. I think a whole lot of media and whoever else decides to put their nose in your very public business will be deciding when you've had enough. You may think you've had enough, but you're about to find out how much more you can handle...or can't. Either way, it's coming.

Ted Kennedy

2009-08-26T07:12:00.002-05:00

I was sad to learn Ted Kennedy died this morning.

He and I agreed on almost nothing, politically. I believe he loved this country as much as I do, and wanted to make it a better place for all of us, and for that, I respect him. We just disagreed on the ways to do that.

Black armbands for all my friends.

a mood ring....for your beer

2009-08-24T08:44:00.004-05:00

The label on a Coors Light bottle turns blue when the beer is cold enough to drink. Wow.

I didn't know the average American beer drinker had a problem determining when a beer is cold (and if it really is an issue, perhaps that's a sign it's time to put the beer down and switch to coffee.) I always resorted to holding the beer in my hand and, based on what I felt, made a subjective judgement on the drinkability of the beer. So far that method hasn't failed me.

I wonder, what color does the label turn if the beer is happy?

the return of Ron Mexico

2009-08-21T07:42:00.001-05:00

I need to find a Michael Vick Eagles jersey...for my dog.

Brett Favre

2009-08-19T07:18:00.004-05:00

Does adding Brett Favre really make the Vikings any better? Everyone seems to think it's a given. I'm not so sure. I think the move does more harm to his legacy with Packer fans (who will now hate his spiteful ass) than it helps the Vikings, who were pretty good without him.

Does anyone outside Minnesota and Green Bay really care what Brett Favre does anymore? I'm pretty tired of his act.

avoiding anything that ends in oscopy

2009-08-18T08:04:00.009-05:00

right up front..TMI warning

I have few mantras in life, but one is...avoid anything that ends in oscopy. ...particularly colonoscopy. For you under about 50, this is something you don't have to worry about for a while, but it's coming.

I've seen what happens. I haven't seen the actual procedure, and really have no desire to. I've seen the preparations one goes through to get to that point, and....let's just say it's shitty....literally.

Mom-in-law stays with us when she has to go through this ordeal, because the hospital she patronizes is far closer to us than it is to her house 90 miles away. When that happens, we load up a bathroom with her reading material and, once she's in, seal it off with crime scene tape. After she leaves for the hospital, we bring in the biohazard team to check it out before we let anyone enter the area.

For years, Mr. My Doctor has been mentioning that ugly word to me, and for years I've been replying with an equally ugly phrase which can be loosely translated as "No."

Then my family started in on me...particularly (and surprisingly) the youngster, who showed some honest concern about my health and expressed a desire to keep me around for a while. The wife also hit me with plain old logic, which is a bit hard to refute, as in, "It would be really stupid to find out later you're dying of colon cancer, when everyone who cares about you is asking you to do this test to detect/prevent it." I started looking at my distaste for all things oscopy in a different light...as in, stop being a baby about this. No, it ain't a lot of fun, but it's only a day. You'll live through it.

So now, it's on the schedule. It's still a few months off....in October, but the trepidation is already here.

The Jaguars first pre-season game

2009-08-18T07:37:00.002-05:00

I watched the first half last night, and I don't want to try to take too much from watching the first pre-season game. The team is young. Lots of rookies and lots of player turnover.

I saw some things that made me hopeful, but at the same time...watching the first team offense...it just looked a lot like it did last year, and that ain't good. Some of the first string players didn't play because of minor injuries, so there's that to consider, and some of the guys just haven't played together for that long. Some guys (Maurice Jones Drew) barely played at all.

I'm hopeful, but the reality is it needs to get a lot better. The first string offense didn't move the ball...at all. David Garrard led the team to one first down in three possessions. That's pitiful. I'm cautiously optimistic, but with more caution than before I watched that game. Please Jaguars...show me something I can believe in.....soon.

meaningful health care refore can't happen without direct government involvement? excuse me?

2009-08-17T08:11:00.015-05:00

While I can accept health care reform, I don't understand why Howard Dean thinks it can't happen without direct government involvement. What kind of ego must this guy have? I understand that he was once an actual doctor, but he sold that soul to politics years ago, or he'd understand what I'm talking about. Besides, he's the head of the DNC. He's not actually in the group of buffoons making up this policy. Yeah, I'm talking about the likes of you, "the outrage displayed at town meetings is not necessarily representative of the American public", Arlen Specter. Yeah, well Arlen, then again, maybe it is. All I know for sure is it isn't all generated from right wing radio talk show hosts, like our liberal friends want to believe. I haven't listened to one of those radio programs in at least a decade because the hosts aren't much higher than you on my credibility scale, and I'm still not a happy camper. Let's not assume, either, that the democratic party holds some monopoly on bufoonery. Politicians from both sides of the political aisle are equally capable of finding loopholes in the most idiot-proof of processes.

I'm sorry, but what do a bunch of kiss ass politicians know about health care? Who stepped up and knighted them the experts? What have they butted their fat asses into where it didn't belong that they didn't completely fuck up? Welfare? Affirmative action? Social Security? The track record isn't exactly impressive, and yet this guy thinks another huge program can't succeed without the government getting directly involved and....doing what? Not fucking it up? For once? This just in...our political "leaders" aren't qualified to play with themselves, let alone a national health care system. They need to be restricted to basic government functions, and leave the rest to people who know what they're doing.

This is a bit like giving the keys to your brand new Ferrari to your 16 year old neighbor who just totalled three other cars. Why would you do that? Health care reform may or may not work, but it stands a much better chance the farther it can distance itself from a bunch of washed up trial lawyers and political schmoozers.

it's the same, only different

2009-08-13T08:31:00.010-05:00

Something struck me as I was chuckling my way through this blog this morning. The basic premise is the nasty things that happen to women's bodies because of age and childbirth, and the effect on beachwear.

It came to me that the same thing happens to men, more or less, except we don't have near the excuses..as in children running around the house. While children will affect the grey hair count, or hair at all count, of the average male, we don't have the weight issues that come with bringing them into the world. All we have is age, but it's still there.

When I was twelve, we had a boat and went water skiing almost every weekend. The trip home almost always included a stop and Ronald's House of Fine Meats. I remember my dad telling me, "I'll buy you three Big Macs if you'll really eat them." He did, and I did...many times (and I wonder why I'm on cholesterol meds, but that's another related issue). Yet I wouldn't gain an ounce.

Through my 20's I ate everything and anything I wanted. Yes, I was fairly active, but I never made a concerted effort to exercise for the sake of exercise. Weight was never an issue. I could suck down a bazilion milk shakes and not gain a pound.

Then I hit my 30s...pretty much the same story, until my later 30s...when I noticed the weight starting to creep up...so I started exercising more.

Then I hit my 40s...and the metabolism slowed to a crawl. About then I also quit smoking...and anyone who has knows what that means. I noticed my pants getting tighter and knew I had to take action. I bought bigger pants. Mr. "My Doctor" started lecturing me as the weight increased, then inched up some more, and some more. Along came the blood pressure and cholesterol meds. It happened slowly and I just chalked it up to age. I still ate like a pig and exercised...some.

Then, at the ripe young age of 49, a few things happened. One, I got on a scale after binging over Christmas, and the number on the scale was higher than it had ever been, and higher than I ever thought it would be. I had visions of my dad, who could serve Christmas dinner on his stomach. No offense intended, pop, but you know it's true. Then, brushing my teeth, something dripped from my mouth....onto my belly. My freakin' belly, dammit! That was one gross wake up call. Something had to be done and buying bigger pants wasn't the answer.

That started my current two and a half year run of more exercise than I've done in any other period in my life, including 100 mile bike rides. To be honest, though, as much as I thought it would, the original issue hasn't gone away completely. I thought...if I could get myself in good enough shape to ride 50 miles at a shot, I'd be burning enough calories to make the gut disappear. Well, I'm past doing 50 mile rides and....the needle on the scale and the amount of me I see when I look down aren't changing much. Sure, initially there was a weight drop and an encouraging reduction in waist size, but it's leveled off.

I still weigh more than I want to. My stomach isn't catching anything that seeps from my mouth any more, and I can see my feet, but still...the abs aren't quite the six pack variety. In fact, they're still the one keg kind and not very flattering. If you look back through bike pictures in this blog, you'll see what I'm talking about. Those clothes don't hide anything, and the gut is still pretty prominent. I benefit from the fact that not many people get a good look at me in bike clothes. Most people are driving by in cars, or they're on a bike and have enough to worry about besides what I look like in a bike jersey. It's not like laying out at the beach....which I just don't do anymore.

The only answer I have left is to...eat less. I love food, and I know I love food too much. The concept of portion control isn't one I espouse. I'm always the guy finishing everything on his plate, which is something drilled into my head at an early age with visions of starving kids in Africa. If food's going in the trash, I feel guilty..and I need to get over that...and the fact that whatever could go in the trash tastes too damn good.

I haven't got there, yet, but I need to learn to...just let it go.

lawn watering restrictions

2009-08-12T07:57:00.004-05:00

Like some of you I'm sure, we're dealing with lawn watering restrictions. We're only allowed to water our lawns twice a week. Odd numbered houses can do it on Wednesday and Saturday, but not during the middle of the day when most of the water evaporates and doesn't do squat for the yard. Even numbered houses can do it on Thursday and Sunday.

Overall, it's been no big deal, lawn-wise. I never watered it more than twice a week anyway. Most of the summer, we've had lots of rain, so I've done very little human-assisted lawn watering at all, restrictions or no. My issue isn't the lawn.

My issue is water pressure. We haven't had rain since last Thursday, so this morning (Wednesday), every odd numbered house in a bazillion mile radius of mine was running sprinklers on their lawn to keep their grass healthy. I...was trying to take a shower while getting ready for work. It was damned difficult! The water was barely coming out and the pressure was non-existent.

I don't mind the restriction on lawn watering. Twice a week is plenty and we could all stand to abide by that (not that the restrictions really matter, because they aren't enforced and there are plenty of people who ignore them, but that's another matter). Do we all have to water on the same freaking day though? Can we spread it out a little more, so half the world isn't trying to water their lawn on the same day and suck the water pressure down to where you can barely take a shower? This is bordering on ridiculous, but then again, I don't know what more I expected. Once government bureaucracy gets involved in anything, common sense seems to disappear.

a round of abortions, for all my friends

2009-08-06T07:53:00.010-05:00

I'm all kinds of happy about this concept, because not only do I want to condone your "right" to murder your babies, I want to pay for it too.

Yay for politicized government sponsored heath care!

...and liberal America wants to whine about the abhorrent shit Dubya shoved down their throats?? Really? I so don't want to hear it. OK, I'm overreacting a bit, because nothing's really happened, yet, but this is the road people want to take us down...and I'm not happy about it.

Out of curiosity, I wonder how quick liberal America would be to support the "right" to an abortion if they knew some of those babies were gay. The call for hate crimes legislation might be deafening. What if PETA found out, God forbid, they were whales.

Bill Clinton

2009-08-05T07:42:00.010-05:00

I have never been a big Bill Clinton fan. I never voted for the guy, and his wife just about makes me wretch. Seriously, I've had to change my habit of watching the national news during dinner, because when she appears, my appetite vacates the premises.

Having said that, when the guy comes through and does something good, I gotta give him props. He went to North Korea and managed to negotiate the freedom of two Americans being held for allegedly wandering into North Korean territory. That's pretty amazing, and well beyond what I thought him capable of. I was wrong. (Got that Jess? I'm admitting I was wrong about a liberal. Mark it down on the calendar :).)

I won't go into my opinion of irresponsible journalists, hikers, random idiots, who know the consequences and still choose to risk their well being, getting themselves in nasty predicaments in hostile countries and then expect their country to bail them out (too much). That's a different issue.

This though, was pretty cool. Good job Mr. Clinton!

doin' the stanky leg

2009-08-03T07:52:00.013-05:00

The youngster and I had our reality checked Saturday.

We helped with a party for underprivileged kids. We've done this sort of thing before, but it's always been in a fairly sterile environment, where the kids come to us in a nice place...like a suburban park. This was in their world, and it was a wake up call.

We drove to a part of J'ville where I don't think I'd be alive (or at least have the same possessions I started with) for more than an hour if it was after dark. I saw stuff...and I knew it existed. It's just diferent when it's in your face. We got there around 9:30 in the morning and started setting things up for games. Guys are walking around and...I know the look where your big ol' shorts are on your hips and your boxers are showing, but this was a completely different level. The shorts were down around the thighs, like well below the butt...to the point where the bottoms of the shorts are at shoe top level. They have to use one hand to hold them up when they walk, so they always have just one hand free. I was carrying this little girl around...maybe four years old, tops. No idea where mom or dad was. If that was my child, I'd be knowing who the stranger was that's carrying my child off to the playground. I asked one little girl who looked about three where her dad was. "I don't have a dad." What about mom? "My mom's gone." I asked who brought her. She was being taken care of by her older brother (looked about ten) for the last few days. Well before noon, this woman walked by. She looked to be in her 20's, and she was noticably high as a kite.

Part of the deal was lunch, which was brought in. We unloaded drinks into big coolers...and as soon as they went in the coolers, people were carting them off...to their homes. By the time the hot dogs and burgers were ready, the drinks were gone. We brought all the kids up front around the food when we got ready to serve it, but as soon as the food was in reaching distance, the older kids and grown ups were reaching over the little ones and took it all...in armloads. It disappeared and the little kids were just staring at empty hot dog buns.

There was a DJ...playing rap. I didn't understand most of the lyrics. The youngster told me it was mostly harmless stuff that you can hear on Disney radio. They did a few dances, like the cha cha slide, and then started doing one (among many) that I didn't get, but the youngster could at least make out the lyrics..."do the stanky leg, and the booty do". The stanky leg...oooookay. I'm not judging or saying anything's better or worse than anything else. It's just not what I'm used to. It was bizarre, to me, but no more so than seeing Dolly Parton do Stairway to Heaven. (That lipstick reminds me of the Joker in The Dark Knight.)

Beyond all that though, the kids..I'd say mostly between the ages of three and ten, had a great day. It was fun, and just talking with them and playing with them...getting them to smile for a while, was rewarding. Just pay them a little attention and they light up. The thing is, you realize you leave...and it's just one day. Those kids need so much more...need to see so much more to realize there's a big world out there they can be a part of, and they can. This day was part of a bigger program, involving mentoring and tutoring, and helping them see how they can improve their lives, and I hope it helps. I know it's better than not trying. They need to see what's out there to reach for, besides the tops of their shorts.

one of those jobs

2009-07-30T12:00:00.003-05:00

There are jobs out there, and you know the kind....the ones you would have to pay me an inordinate amount of money to perform. I came across one of those while reading this story about the shuttle's return.

In it, they talk about the Japanese astronaut, returning with the shuttle. He's the first Japanese astronaut to spend an extended period of time in orbit, and was testing a new kind of antibacterial, water absorbing, odor-eliminating underwear.

"He's bringing back the used undergarments for scientific analysis."

How would you like to be on the analyzing end of those shorts?

you say 'tomato', I say RUN

2009-07-30T09:41:00.004-05:00

Let me start with...I like tomatoes. I like slices on burgers. I like them in salads. I have no real problem with tomatoes. What I have a problem with is tomato plants, and the people who grow them, starting with my parents.

My issue is the number of tomatoes that come off the average tomato plant, and the inability of the owners of those plants to consume what they produce. The inevitable result of that is the arrival of the tomato pusher. You know who I'm talking about because if you aren't one, you've run into them.

"You like tomatoes, don't you? Here, please take this truckload off my hands."

Every time I see my parents, I get more tomatoes thrust on me than I will eat in a year. I have neighbors who are the same way. They get insulted if I won't take their tomatoes. I don't know how grocery stores sell any in the summer. I haven't purchased a tomato in eons (or, OK...since February). I throw away more than I eat. They keep giving me suggestions on how I could serve/eat even more tomatoes and to be honest...I'm not that crazy about them. I like them with certain other foods, but I don't just pick up a tomato and eat it. I wish I did. My summer grocery bill would drop to almost nothing.

cycling as a spectator sport

2009-07-28T13:07:00.008-05:00

I've never considered cycling much of a spectator sport. I probably kept up with/watched more of the Tour de France this year than any other, but still I wasn't glued to it. Bicycling has always been something I love to do but don't really care to watch someone else do. I can think of a few other activities that fall into that category, but I digress.

Not helping at all was all the doping controversy stuff. It just made me shake my head. Why do people think they can get away with cheating? Even if they do, in their heart of hearts they know...any accomplishment is a lie. This year I got into it a bit because of Lance Armstrong. I didn't care so much about him winning. I just liked the story of him coming back and giving it a shot.

Now, I have this. The race is over and done. Alberto Contador won and Armstrong came in third (which I thought was pretty freakin' amazing, all things considered) and they're on the same team and they rocked. Still, they don't like each other and now, they're sniping at each other. I know...huge egos are part of any sport. It's not just a cycling thing. This, though, is just stupid. Can't you guys just smile and be happy with your accomplishments, and be happy and have some respect for your teammate? Contador, you got scoreboard, dude. You won the thing. You need to be happy and leave everything else in your rear view mirror. Armstrong, you won seven of them and came back to take third place. You have nothing to complain about. You both kicked butt. Do you have to keep picking at each other? Just be proud of what you did, and not busy getting your bike shorts twisted in a wad, egging each other on. If it ain't doping, it's being crybaby pansies. I'd say you're acting like a couple of little girls, but that'd be an insult to little girls. Don't give me any of that, "But he said" crap. Grow up! Is it any wonder I don't make a habit of watching you people ride?

To Paradise and Back

2009-07-23T14:07:00.022-05:00

Or…

OH MY GOD DAD What’s that smell???

The youngster and I did the MS Bike ride in Pennsylvania. I’m not ready to say it was better or worse than the MS ride we do here at home. It was definitely different.

First there were two MS Chapters doing the ride. There was the Central Pennsylvania and Delaware Valley Chapters. I thought that would mean we were doing the same route, but no. We shared some of the same rest stops and parts of our route was the same as theirs, but parts were different. I have no idea why.

Second, there was no universal organized start time. The stuff I got said we could start from 6:30 to 8:30. I took that to mean the mass start would be at 6:30, and stragglers could leave up to 8:30. We got there at about 6:25. I expected to be stopped and directed to park somewhere, but no. We drove right through the start line to a nearby parking lot. There were just a few people there. I’m thinking, “Where the hell is everybody? Are we in the right place?” Turned out we were. We got our stuff together and headed to the start line, and waited for someone with a bullhorn to show up. There were all of two groups waiting there. It soon became apparent that nobody with a bullhorn was going to show up, and those two groups were only there because some of their friends hadn’t shown up yet, and they were waiting for people. No organized start. No police help. Just get up and go when you’re ready. The youngster caught on first, saying, “Dad, I think we just go.” I was being stubborn waiting for someone to tell us to start. Then, after seeing a few other people leave, I conceded, “I think you’re right. Let’s go.”

The weather was perfect. Temps started in the high 60s and maybe hit 80 by the time we finished. Not much humidity. Lots of sun…no rain.

First part of the ride…mostly downhill…and the youngster’s smiling. “I love this hill thing!” I blinked and we were about 5 miles into it. I’m thinking…dude, we gotta go back up at some point, and it won’t be fun. We learned real fast that there would be a whole lot more shifting in this ride than anything we do in Florida. I was really appreciating that I wasn’t riding my old bike with the lever shifters on the down tube. That would have been a killer. It all seemed like a much smaller scale than the ride at home, but some of that was because of the staggered start and not everybody on the same route, and some was because it really is smaller.

The scenery was amazing. Again, not really better or worse than home (I mean really, going down the beach on A1A is pretty nice too), but definitely different. It was really cool for the youngster, who had never been out there in farmland and rolling hills before. He kept saying, “Dad, just look to your left (or right). You could make a whole calendar of pictures on this ride.” I didn’t say, “Yeah buddy…people do.” But I was thinking it. We went through covered wooden bridges and passed a whole lot of horse and buggy riding Amish folks. We saw Amish people in the fields and one guy pounding something on an anvil. We saw tons of barns, some with hex markings. One guy was riding this scooter looking thing with big bike wheels, but you had to push it…no pedals. It was a beautiful ride.

With the cool scenery comes reality though. We came in very close proximity to a bunch of barns, maybe ten yards from cows in those barns, and the youngster got his first smell of very fresh cow manure. That’s when he took one hand off the handle bar, buried his nose in his elbow and yelled, “OH MY GOD DAD! What’s that smell?” He complained for a little bit, and then mused about how we were going to smell when we finished. Then there was the reality of the whole horse and buggy thing. Those buggies travel the right side of the road, like we do. Unlike us, horses don’t wait for rest stops and use the rest room. Avoiding chunks wasn’t so hard, but the stuff ground into the road…no way. Realistically, none of that is staying with your tires for very long, but the youngster’s were new, and he whined a little about that. Last, but certainly not least, were the hills. After that first little downhill slide, came the first uphill part, then down, then up, then down, then up, then up some more…etc., etc., etc. Sometimes you could build speed on the downhill part and gain momentum for the next uphill part, but lots of times there were stop signs or lights at the bottom of the hill (or a covered bridge, and you couldn’t fly through those…wooden slats for road), so you had to stop at the bottom and start from scratch and head back up. About 40 miles in, the youngster said, “Dad, you said there’d be hills, but you didn’t say it’d be all hills. It’s all up or down. There’s no flat.” The kid was right. I underestimated that part, and how hard they’d be.

They didn’t provide us with a route map, although I know they existed, because I saw them at rest stops. I couldn’t read them then, because I didn’t carry reading glasses with me. They probably had them at some table at check-in, but I didn't look at the time. Here, you can download a map from the website for the ride, but it wasn't on the website for the ride up there. I did, however, e-mail the organizers when I got home and requested one. I hope they come through. I expect we went to the town of Paradise, since it was part of the name of the ride. I know we went through the town of Intercourse, because we had lunch there, and I saw signs (and no, contrary to what you may think, Intercourse and Paradise aren't the same). Other than that, I have no idea exactly where we were.

They called us "the orange people" because of the jerseys we wore. They were the ride jerseys from the ride we did last fall from Saint Augustine to Daytona and back, and had orange sleeves and sides. The youngster overheard people at one rest stop say, "We're doing OK. We're keeping up with the orange people." Yeah, like keeping up with us means you're doing OK. Nobody told them it was our first attempt at that kind of topography. Then one of the later rest stops came with a cheering section, they welcomed and bid farewell, both...to "the orange people."

Unlike the ride at home, you come to a fork in the road about 40 miles in where you decide to ride 75 or 100 miles. I like making that decision toward the end, evaluating whether or not I feel good enough to do another 25 miles. Here, that wasn’t an option. We got to the rest stop at 90 miles and people who had done the ride before were talking about the last 10 miles…and that it was all uphill. It wasn’t all uphill, but it was close. We were paying for that first downhill part of the ride, and it was hard. It was easily the most difficult ride I’ve ever done. It finished at Millersville University, where it started, which was nice for us one day riders. Supposedly the second day route was different. Maybe the two chapters just switched routes. We didn’t stick around to find out.

I’d have to agree with the youngster, who said, “I couldn’t do another day of that tomorrow. I’d be dead.” Overall, it was an enjoyable day and I'm very glad we did it. It'll be a while though, before we pack up the bikes and head back north for round two.

see ya on the flip side

2009-07-10T10:54:00.003-05:00

This blog hasn't been a daily thing for quite some time now, but it will be unusually quiet for the next two weeks, as I will be vacationing...nowhere near a useable internet connection. We'll be at my parents' house most of the time and that means one dial up connection that interrupts the phone service. I won't be jumping on that thing at all, if I can help it.

Take care of yourselves.

Brüno

2009-07-10T08:45:00.013-05:00

I may be all alone in the world or part of a very small minority, but I don't find Sacha Baron Cohen the least bit funny, and I'm a comedy guy. I love comedy.

I watched about 5 minutes of Borat, and found it boring and contrived. It tried way to hard to be funny and just wasn't. It was actually hard to watch. I sympathized with the people he was...abusing? exploiting? embarrassing? humiliating? making generally uncomfortable? I certainly wasn't laughing. The clips I've seen of Brüno don't give me any hope for improvement. I certainly wouldn't rush out to a theater to see it, and may pass even when it hits television. It just seems insulting, or embarrassing, neither of which is.....funny. In my mind, it's pretty analogous to making a movie of someone exploiting a mentally challenged person and calling it "Let's Laugh at the Retard." Before anyone gets all offended, please note I didn't call anyone mentally challenged or a retard, I'm just saying Cohen's work hits the same 'bad taste' chord in me for the same reasons that hypothetical movie would.

I guess to each his own. The youngster thinks it's hilarious. I heard someone say that, "a lot of people are just too stupid to get Sacha Baron Cohen." To that I say...so the high school sophomore thinks he's hilarious. The guy with a couple of college degrees, and daily works with computer logic that would make a lot of people's head spin, thinks he's pretentious, elitist, contrived and not at all humorous. Yeah, stupidity is my excuse.

can we get just an ounce of moderation?

2009-07-09T15:36:00.012-05:00

Hi Iran,

I sympathize with you. I really do. I understand you feel like you got jobbed in the election and the wrong guy is leading your country. I don't know if you're right or wrong (because I doubt an honest vote count is even possible now), but I get that. Honest, I do.

I get the protest marches and the feeling of frustration. What I don't get is marching through the streets yelling "death to the dictator". Don't we have enough killing going on? Why is it always, "Go straight to death! Do not pass GO! Do not collect $200!"? Personally, I don't like the guy. I don't think he's helping your country and the world's opinion of it. He takes ignorance to a new level, easily surpassing the liberal view of George Bush (which I disagree with, but understand) in this country. Being stupid isn't a crime punishable by death though. Like you, I'd love to see a changing of the guard and more moderation in your country, but death is a bit extreme. Two wrongs don't make a right, and don't prove yourself to be just as bad as the guy you're trying to get rid of by stooping to his level.

How about "exile for the dictator" or "dictator for dog catcher"? As long as he's not running the country, is that a suitable compromise?

of course, it's all speculation for now

2009-07-07T08:27:00.010-05:00

Ok, so Steve McNair and his girlfriend are found dead in a love shack he rented in Nashville. Both have been shot. There's a gun present that she bought a few days earlier. They've been dating for about 5 months. According to friends and family, she was very happy, and was getting ready to sell her furniture and move in with him.

My speculation is she believed he was leaving his wife for her, and that belief was recently shattered. How much he led her on and how much of that was all in her head, we'll never know. The realization that her life really is high school dropout/waitress at Dave & Busters/soon to be former sex toy for former NFL star hits her smack in the face. She's more than a little pissed off. She buys a gun and...then there's the rest of the story.

Of course, here in J'ville, what's the huge part of this story? The psycho bitch from hell fatal attraction candidate....is local. She immigrated here from Iran and went to Orange Park High School...before dropping out and moving to Tennessee. Thank you so much for putting us on the map in such a flattering light. OK, I'm overreacting a little. Of the 20 years in the woman's life, she resided in the J'ville area for all of 3.

Then there's McNair, who, in light of the sordid circumstances of the whole event, is being eulogized by just about everyone who ever knew him...his old coach, his agent, former teammates, his neighbors, his dog, his neighbor's dog, his paperboy, his paperboy's dog, his paperboy's dog's fleas....everyone is stepping up to say what a great guy he was, and how he "ought" to be remembered. I have no doubt he did a lot for the communities in which he lived, but he did this too, and it's all part of the whole. In the words of Willy Shakesphere, "methinks thou dost protest too much". Then again, I shouldn't be so judgemental. When I become perfect and can lord my superiority over others, I'll be sure to let you know. This is all speculation anyway, and even if it's true, we'll never know the whole story...nor should we, as much as the media insists that they should break it down for us.

cell phones

2009-06-30T06:59:00.003-05:00

I've blogged before about my dislike for cell phones. My biggest beefs about them are people driving while using them, or rather, using them and attempting to perform something akin to driving, and having a 24/7 leash by which the world believes you at their beck and call.

Well for the last few days, stately Lumberyard manor has become cell phone dependent. We had a lightning strike near the house Friday, and while everything else seems to have survived unscathed, the home phone line did not. A call to AT&T left us believing it'd be fixed by Monday. When the wife called them Monday afternoon to find out why we still have no home phone line, they informed her it was fixed. She asked what part of fixed meant when you tried to call our house, you still got a busy signal, and when you turned on our phone, you still got no dial tone. The answer was, we'll get it fixed by....get this...Thursday. She started to ask if the technician who "fixed" the line tested it, by maybe...oh I dunno...calling the house and see if he got through. She could see that quickly turning into..."It'll be fixed by next Monday." Nothing good was coming out of that line of sarcastic questioning.

So we're using cell phones for our communication with the outside world, and I gotta tell ya...compared to a land line, they suck. When I use mine from time to time when I'm away from home, it doesn't really hit me. Now that I've been using nothing but a cell phone for several days, there's no comparison to a land line when it comes to quality of the conversation. There's all kinds of reception issues and words that get dropped out and sounding like you're in a tunnel that you just don't deal with in a home phone, and this from the company that claims more bars in more places. I wonder if they're talking drinking establishments, because they aren't delivering in the connection quality department.

Mikey Jackson

2009-06-26T12:17:00.009-05:00

I don't like that anyone has to die. I mean, in John's world, we'd all live forever and stop aging at about 25 years old. Having said that, there are some celebrities that I'm sad to see go, and others rate little more than a shrug.

Michael Jackson falls into the latter category, and I don't know if that surprises anyone more than me. The reason I say that is...the world seems to be in mourning. It's splattered all over the front page of our paper. There's a tribute on the evening news. I enjoyed some of the guy's work, but I never counted myself as a huge fan. I don't own any Michael Jackson CDs, or albums for that matter. Still, I appreciated Thriller...the artistry of it. Maybe though, since I wasn't a huge fan, and then you throw all the "little boy" controversy on top of that, and when I think of Micheal Jackson, the term "greatness" doesn't exactly follow. I'm not really in mourning. There's no sense that the world lost someone of great magnitude. His family will miss him, as well they should. I won't. I can honestly say, after all the fanfare dies, I won't waste another minute thinking about Michael Jackson.

Like I said, I don't wish death on anybody, but Jackson's affects me about as much as some poor crack addict dying in a gang related shooting downtown.

baby it's still hot outside...

2009-06-25T13:43:00.003-05:00

...and maybe that's not such a bad thing as we prepare to take the traveling bike show out of state for the first time.

Training continues for the slew of long distance rides I've managed to sign the youngster and me up for this year, and the next one is the first where we really have to travel.

To be honest, the reason for the trip isn't the bike ride. We haven't been back to Pennsylvania in almost 3 years, and it's past time to go socialize with the family. Some have traveled south to see us in that time, but we haven't been up there. I did schedule the trip to coincide with the MS Bike ride in Lancaster though, because I wanted to take the youngster on a ride through Amish country. I think it'll be an experience both of us will remember. We're only doing one of the two days though, because I really don't have much time to spare. When you're only up there a week, and there are lots of family folks to visit with, spending one of those days biking stretches the schedule enough. Two days would have been impossible.

It will be warm and the fact that it's hot here while we practice is actually probably helping the training effort. I should find some hills too, because this will be our first real encounter with those, but we'll just have to deal as they come along. I'm looking forward to the challenge, and I hope it's a memorable day for all the right reasons.

Heeeeeeeeeer's Ed!

2009-06-23T09:25:00.002-05:00

Ed McMahon, the definition of a late night TV sidekick, died early this morning. Black armbands for all my friends.

baby it's hot outside

2009-06-22T07:53:00.005-05:00

Yowza it's hot out.

Saturday morning we went for a bike ride. It was the first organized MS Society training ride down A1A along the ocean. Very pretty but pretty warm, even if we did finish before 10:00 a.m.

After that the wife wanted to go to a farmer's market, and guilted me in to going along. We got there at noon and stayed all of maybe 20 minutes. We got some fruits and veggies, but didn't spend much time looking because the heat was awful. I felt for the people manning the booths, because they were supposed to be there from 12:00 to 4:00.

Sunday I went out for a 30 mile ride after church. I learned my hydration lesson a few weeks ago though, and made sure I had plenty to drink. I took gatorade with me and when that was done, I stopped at parks and filled the water bottle. Got home around noon and spent very little of the rest of the day outside. At least on a bike you create a little breeze. I saw people out running and...more power to 'em.

The rest of yesterday was father's day stuff (bike riding gloves, size XXL - what were they thinking? much better than a tie but need to downsize just a little) and puttering around indoors. I bought a new router for the home network, and as easy as they say it is to set up, it seems to take a while to get all the wireless devices to talk to the ting. Got the wife's laptop, my work laptop and the Wii working with it. Still to be conquered, the youngster's i-touch.

facebook

2009-06-18T07:16:00.013-05:00

I'm not a facebook person. I'm not a myspace or twitter person either. I guess I'm not much of an online social networker. This little rant factory called a blog is about as far as I go. I've got enough shit going on as it is without another place in cyberspace to keep up with. As it is, if you read here much, you've seen the numbers of blog entries take a fair dive over the last 6 months or so. That's partially because I don't have that much to say, and partially because I just don't have the time.

One of our friends, though, is a facebook fanatic. She has her page and shares pictures with the world through it and keeps in tough with friends and family around the country. She loves it, and thinks the wife and I should too. She's also one of the wife's best friends. Her kids are friends with the youngster. Her husband is my bike riding buddy. Every time we see her, she asks when we're going to get on facebook. For the last year the wife had school as an excuse....too busy with school to get into all that. Well, school's over now, and we're back to...when are you going to get on facebook. I think they have some kind of recruiting contest going on, and that's part of the agenda.

The wife...really has no desire, but doesn't want to hurt her friend's feelings. The wife sees computers as a necessary evil and the web as a place to find a menu for a restaurant if we've never been there. It's not a social outlet, and she doesn't want it to be. If she's on the web for more than 15 consecutive minutes, it's like alarms go off and she needs to come up for air. She sees no reason to have a page on the web to communicate with a friend she sees or talks to on the phone at least three times a week.

I...just can't be bothered. I don't need another thing to keep me busy. I have enough of those as it is. I see it as a black hole to suck in a bunch of time I just don't have.

The youngster...has a facebook page and expends constant effort making it "better". I check it out every now and then (although I just let slide the comment from some lady gaga girl from school who wants to "ride your disco stick."). He keeps up with school friends with it.

Yesterday though, the youngster came home and said...Ms. Betty said she'd give me a $10 McDonalds gift card if I make facebook pages for you two, so I need some pictures. (Bribery - the tool of the desperate.) The wife immediately said, "No, you won't. I don't want one." Frankly. I'm pretty apathetic about it all. If he wants to put it out there, fine. I don't care if there's another place in cyberspace with my name and picture on it. I won't be maintaining it, or personalizing it, or spending the time to figure out what I can do with it though. Maybe he will.

or maybe I gave golf too much credit

2009-06-15T10:13:00.002-05:00

I thought I was all kinds of sore Friday because I went and played golf for the first time in ages Thurdsay night. What I didn't realize was...I was sick, and getting sicker. I left work early Friday, got home and shoved a thermometer in my mouth and confirmed, I had a fever. I went to bed and woke up at 7:30 to the wife asking me which can of Campbells sounded best.

Spent the vast majority of the weekend either in bed or on the couch (where I had my own Star Wars/Harry Potter marathon), and didn't leave the house until yesterday afternoon when I started to feel better. Today...much much better

I guess I didn't give golf enough credit

2009-06-12T08:15:00.004-05:00

For the last two years, ever since I started on the bicycle craze, my golf game has been going to hell. On a Sunday afternoon, if I have an hour or two to kill, I'll go bicycling long before I'll go to the driving range. My rationale is/was....it's much better for me. Golf isn't real exercise.

Well, in the process of thinking like that, my golf game has gone downhill, to the point of being barely existent. The last time I played was early March. before that was the summer before. Last night after work I played nine holes, and.....damn I'm stiff! I guess it's just different muscle groups or whatever, but I definitely worked something last night I haven't worked in a while, because it's not moving so well today. Maybe I need to diversify a bit, and get to the driving range/golf course a bit more often.

in some ways, I'm still a newbie (but in this case, it saved me $10)

2009-06-08T12:50:00.015-05:00

My bike's in the shop. After the 100 mile trek in the blistering heat, I decided to send it in for a tune up.

I brought the bike to the shop last Wednesday, hoping to get it back before the weekend so I could ride Saturday or Sunday. It's the same shop I always take it to...also where we bought the youngster's bike.They said they were swamped, and I wouldn't get it until this week. OK, not that big a deal.

So today, they guy working on my bike called me. The conversation went something like...

bike guy: Have you ever changed the chain on this bike?
me: No.
bike guy (sounding a little incredulous): You've got 5900 miles on this bike and you've never put a new chain on it?? (The "...you moron" was left off the end of the question, but it was definitely implied.)
me: Well, no. Why?
bike guy: Well, you should change the chain every 1500 to 2000 miles. Now, it's beyond replacement.
me: What does that mean...beyond replacement?

I'm thinking, that's what he'd do if it's in bad shape. He'd replace it. Beyond replacement sounded ominous.

bike guy: Well, if you change the chain every 1500 to 2000 miles, the rear cassette will last forever. If you don't change the chain though, the chain and cassette start to wear together. If I put a new chain on it now, the cassette will ruin it. You're at a decision point. You can either keep the chain and cassette combination you have until it breaks completely. If you do that, it'll just feel a bit rough until it fails. The other choice is to put a new chain on it, but you'd have to replace the cassette as well.
me: So, how much is that?
bike guy: The chain is $60. The cassette is $110.
me (the words "breaks completely" resonating in my brain with the accompanying picture of me stranded in the middle of nowhere with a busted chain): OK, I guess we go with the new stuff.

After I hung up, I did the math. If I'd have changed the chain every 2000 miles, I'd have spent $180 by now. More if I changed it every 1500 miles. As it is, I'm spending $170. By waiting until I had done irreparable damage, I saved $10. What a deal!

Also, after I hung up, and thought about it for a minute, I started to wonder. My bike has been to that shop for a couple of tune ups, and the wheel replacement after my New years Eve accident. So, this guy has seen that bike several times, and most of those after the bike had 2000 miles on it. Why was this the first time Mr. Incredulous asked me about the chain? I mean, how did we get to almost 6000 miles before he recommended that I get a new one?

virtual pomp and circumstance

2009-06-08T07:15:00.004-05:00

About two years ago, the wife was presented with a situation at work.

She had a job that required a bachelors degree, even though she didn't have one. She had been doing it for years and the requirement was added later, so she was "grandfathered" in. That was OK, until they moved her out of that job for two years, to work on a special project. When the project was over, they informed her and several other people who worked on the project that they couldn't have their old jobs back, because they required a bachelors degree. None of these people had one. They could find a lesser position to fill, get the degree or they could accept a severance package. This was where we were two years ago. Yeah, very nice.

Some took the severance package. The wife started researching online schools. She looked at one a few other people at work had used. She called the people at the school, which is an actual university in Nebraska with an online program, and worked out a course of study. She had a two year degree, and they accepted the work she had done there. Work would help pay for the tuition..somewhat, but hey, somewhat was better than nothing. She started her second student career.

Now, after about a year and a half of no weekends, cramming more than we could into not enough time, lots of sweat and quite a few tears, it's done. She finished a week ago. She turned in her last assignment last Sunday and got the grade for it yesterday, pretty much sealing the deal and keeping her on the dean's list, no less.

She still has to apply for her degree and they will mail it to her, but all the courses are done and there's nothing left to do but smile...and pay off the student loan.

We had a party Saturday night...just some close friends and a few of her coworkers, but it was nice. Sunday afternoon we went to the grocery store. In the car, she looked at me and said, "I don't know what to do with myself. I have all afternoon." I'm sure we'll figure that out. It's a great problem to have.

what a legacy to leave behind

2009-06-05T11:22:00.008-05:00

I guess it really doesn't matter after you die. I mean, what do you care? You're dead.

Still, after having the Kung Fu show and Kill Bill movies being part of the things you would have been remembered for, the last thing I'd want when I leave this planet is to be remembered for being the naked guy dead in a hotel room with a rope around his balls. David Carradine's family is vehemently denying he'd commit suicide, trying to defend his dignity, but when it gets out that that's how they found you, what's the point? Whatever shred you had got choked with the chicken.

Kinda takes the wind right outa your legacy. Might want to take that under advisement the next time you're...oh, I dunno....alone and naked, considering the pros and cons of hanging yourself in a closet with a rope around Mr. Happy.

when things get really drastic

2009-06-02T11:32:00.003-05:00

The things you'll do to raise money in bankruptcy. General Motors is selling it's Hummers.

In downtown J'ville, women (and some men dressed as women) get arrested for that.

crampin' my style

2009-06-01T07:27:00.019-05:00

Lessons from the Tour de Cure...

The ride...kicked my ass. I finished it, but that was probably the hardest thing I've done since I don't remember when. It was also one of the more painful (and yeah, it ranks well above being waterboarded on the torture meter, Ms. Pelosi).

I'm coming to the conclusion that rain, when I did the two 100 mile days for the MS rides, was actually a good thing. It may have been wet and miserable, but at least it was cool. Heat is worse...a lot worse, if you don't make the right preparations. I learned a few things about that though, like drink water and gatorade early, even when you don't think you need it. When it's hot out, do it early and often. I didn't do enough. At about the 70 mile mark my thighs started cramping. I had to stop for about 10 minutes on the side of the road between rest stops. Then, for the last two rest stops (75 and 90 mile marks), I had to really stop and rest. I drank a lot of water and gatorade those last two stops, and had a few bananas - the potassium is supposed to help prevent cramping. At the last rest stop, I literally could not get off my bike without help. Every time I straightened my legs, the thighs would cramp and I'd have to bend them. As long as I kept them bent, I was OK. A guy from a bike shop that was there for bike support knew what I was dealing with. He helped get my bike out from under me, and told me, "I've seen this plenty of times. All you can do is chug water." One of the SAG vehicles stopped, and the driver asked if I wanted a ride to the finish line. The bike shop guy said, "Don't do it, man. You're 10 miles from the finish line. You'll hate yourself if you get in that van." In my heart, I knew he was right. I got this far pushing through the pain. Giving up now was out of the question. The volunteers manning the rest stop gave me some motrin. That helped get me to the finish line...under pedal power...photographic evidence below. That would be the youngster and friends super soaking me when I got there.

We stayed at the finish line for a while. I had one celebratory beer (probably a mistake) and then more water. They had a shaded pavilion, with tables and chairs set up for dinner, so we stayed there a while and tried to decide what we'd do for dinner. It was free at the pavillion for me and my neighbor, who rode with me, but the families would have had to pay $20 a head, so we stayed to see what the fare was. They were unimpressed (more with the price than the food...my neighbor had kids who were too old to eat free, but too young to get anywhere close to $20 worth of eating in), so we left for a restaurant. Even still, when we drove away, my left leg started cramping again.

I heard other people talking about cramping, and one thing I heard mentioned was salt tablets....as in, "I took a salt tablet and that took care of the problem." Salt tablets? I haven't heard of people taking salt tablets since....Deep Purple was playin' 'Hush' on the radio. Memo to self...research that. Maybe there's an answer in there somewhere.

Two days later, my legs are still a little sore, but that's to be expected. Despite the ample use of sunscreen, I'm a litle bit burned, but not drastically so. I can't imagine what I would have looked like if I hadn't used it. I think I'm pretty much over the ordeal. Yesterday my thighs were still a bit tight, but I think I'm all better now. It was just a painful lesson to learn.

bring on the next ride

2009-05-28T06:56:00.005-05:00

This weekend, a neighbor and I are taking on the next charity bike ride challenge, the Tour de Cure. It benefits the American Diabetes Association and, like the MS ride, is something that's done all over the country on different weekends. It's not just a J'ville thing.

It's also a lot like the MS rides in that you have lots of options for distances. It's a two day event, but you don't have to do both days. On day one you have an option of 100 km or 100 miles. At the Saturday finish line there will be some sort of food festival thing. I'm not sure what to expect, so I'm keeping the expectation level low and hoping they surprise me. If you do day two, you can do 100 km or a fun ride of about 14 miles. We're doing the 100 mile day one and skipping day two. Well, we might come out for the fun ride, just because, but we'll have to see. We're lucky, in that the start line is all of about 4 miles from home, so we can go out there on a whim if we feel like it. After all, we're already registered for the ride. We'll just have to see if we feel like getting out there on Sunday.

Once we get this on under our belts, it'll be half of my charity ride season for the year. I'll do two MS rides - one in Pennsylvania in July, and then the one that started me on this kick in the first place, J'ville to Daytona and back in October.

Next year, I think we'll be scaling back a little bit. I love doing the rides, and they're for great causes. My fundraising ability, though, for that many different events, just ain't up to par. I think I'm spreading myself a bit thin, and to make any kind of impact, I need to focus on just a couple of rides...like two.

Memorial Day

2009-05-22T08:40:00.005-05:00

Every year I say this in some way. Every year I mean it.

I have a list...a list of men I served with, who died in the service of this country. I'm not being sexist. I served with women too, but to my knowledge, none of them have passed away, either while performing some duty for the country or not (although one of the women went on to pilot the space shuttle).

I take this weekend to remember them, and the sacrifice they made to keep this country what it is. Too many treat it like a three day weekend for the beach or barbecue and nothing else, and take for granted their ability to do these things. They are ignorant to the sacrifices made on their behalf.

Those men, and many men and women like them, are the cost of freedom. Their families are still paying it, and it isn't cheap.

I'm indebted to all of them, and so is every American citizen.

when the max isn't really the max

2009-05-21T11:51:00.006-05:00

So Barak, can you explain to me what a 'supermax' prison is? Pardon my ignorance, but I didn't know we had those. How is it diferent from a not-so-super, ordinary 'max' prison? How much more 'max' is it, and why? Do we, by any chance, have 'superdupermax' prisons that are even more 'max'? Just curious.

Yes, I realize Barak didn't make the term up, but it is pretty funny, or at least I think so.

Ron Mexico is free

2009-05-21T07:22:00.008-05:00

Mike Vick received his get out of jail free card, yesterday. I went to the gym last night and watched....no, not the American Idol finale(thank God - those people were on the other side of the room) but ESPN News, followed by the beginning of a basketball game where it looked like Cleveland was taking Orlando to the woodshed...surprise! Guess I should have kept watching. Back to ESPN though, where Vick was all the talk. What does this mean for his NFL career? Where will he go? What kind of impact can he have? How good will he be after two years in prison?

I don't want the guy to be unemployed. I'm OK with him playing football. He did his time and now he should be able to go out and make a living. I just don't want him doing it for my team. I don't care if he goes to one of our rivals and turns into the reason they beat us. I still don't want him here. I want the men on the football team representing my city to be decent human beings...ones who know they are role models and take that responsibility seriously. I want good citizens.... that are damn good at football. This guy held dogs under water until they died. He trained them to fight each other until one killed the other, and enjoyed watching them do it. When accused of it, he shrugged it off and said it doesn't really matter because "Everybody lub Michael Vick." No, Mike, we don't lub you...and it doesn't matter to me how damn good you might be at football, I still don't want you on my team, representing my city. You're a bad human being.

Now you might ask, what happens if Vick comes out and transforms into a model citizen. What if there is a Mike Vick foundation that supports animal shelters, and he begins tutoring inner city school kids, teaching them to say "love" instead of "lub", and serving up food in homeless shelters. Would that change your tune, Mr. Lumberyard?

Ya know, it might (not that Vick cares what I think). I can't say for sure, but it very well could. Maybe the day comes when he cares, not necessarily about what I think, but about his place in, and contribution to, society. Maybe he shows us all he's found his conscience. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

taking the excuses

2009-05-20T07:22:00.005-05:00

The weather here's been miserable since Sunday and there's no sign of it drying out anytime soon. We need rain, so I shouldn't complain, but could we get it in smaller doses? This is the third straing day of high winds and rain, and just that nasty raw feeling.

Because of that, I've been cozing up in a slug-fest....as in being one. I needed to get to the gym last night, but by the time I got home from work, doing a few errands on the way and being just a bit soaked, I just ate dinner and vegged. I wasn't getting back out in that mess again, except to take the dog out. Some things need to be done no matter what. It was a good excuse not to go to the gym (or at least I thought so at the time), but it's an excuse nonetheless, and exercise didn't get done.

Tonight though...it has to happen. I will get there. Then I'll be riding this weekend, and hopefully between two or three rides, I'll total one hundred miles. That way I'll feel a bit better about the next weekend, when I'll do that same hundred on Saturday.

the pied piper, revisited

2009-05-18T07:53:00.008-05:00

A while ago I blogged about my new bicycling recruits, all under the age of 16. Well, it's fallen off a little. I'll keep the same names for consistency's sake, but the group has dwindled to Me and Bob and our kids. The others like the concept, but don't like getting up early on a Saturday morning to ride, and as we head into summer when the temperature climbs into the 90's in the afternoon, early on a Saturday is the only time to train.

Bob's sons, Ishmail and Seymour both have bikes now. Bob took his boys out for 20 miles last weekend while I was working, so we discussed this weekend. He said he didn't think Seymour, the younger of the two and the one who really just started riding, was good for any more than 20 miles, yet. Ishmail probably wasn't ready to go much farther either. Still, Bob and I are doing 100 miles in a few weeks for the Tour de Cure, so we need to go farther for training. The plan was...we'll get up early and take the youngster, Ishmail and Seymour on a route we knew to be 23 miles. Then we'd drop the boys off and go farther on our own. We decided we'd go east and cross the intracoastal waterway bridge to the beach.

So we got up. After a lot of organizational work (dad, where's my water bottle...does anyone else need a granola bar...has anyone seen my sunglasses) we were finally off. We got most of the way through the 23 miles when Ishmail started asking questions. How far are you going without us? You're going over that bridge? Can we go? I started explaining that the bridge is pretty big, and once you cross it, you have to cross it again to get home, and it's quite a climb. He was undaunted.

By the time we got back home with the kids, the plan had changed. Ishmail and the youngster we coming to the beach with us. I wasn't worried about the youngster. He's done that bridge before, more than once. Ishmail though, I thought was biting off more than he was ready for.

I was wrong. Ishmail got over the bridge...twice...and made it back home. The little man was determined, and it was pretty cool to see. Granted, he was wiped out when he got home, but he made it...for a total of about 51 miles on the morning, easily the farthest he's ever been on a bike, and impressing the hell out of both me and his dad. The youngster passed me going up the bridge...both ways...showing that the kid is getting better at this than his old man. I knew that day was coming. I just didn't know it was here already.

playing catch up

2009-05-15T07:10:00.002-05:00

Well, I did get back into the gym routine, and this weekend there will be bike riding. Two weeks until the Jacksonville version of the Tour de Cure, a ride to benefit the American Diabetes Association.

My neighbor and I are only doing the first of the two days, but we will do the 100 mile route. Since I was a total slug last week, I need to get some training in this weekend and in the upcoming week, because really, that's about all I have left before the 30th. It's not something you want to cram for the week of the ride. In fact, I want to do next to nothing that week, so I'm fresh that Saturday morning.

sure Barak, let's re-evaluate that gay military policy thing

2009-05-12T15:23:00.022-05:00

I love how people who have never been in the military are the ones who can't figure out what difference it makes, and take it upon themselves to decide how people in the military should live. They, of course, think "don't ask, don't tell" is silly, and can't see why, other than prejudice, an openly gay person shouldn't be allowed to serve in the military.

Here, let me make it clearer for you. Women serve on ships now, but they have their own separate quarters and showers. Why? Why can't we just put everybody, regardless of sex or sexual preference, in the same showers? Why can't they all sleep together? What's the difference between that having openly gay and straight men in the same showers?

If it was just a matter of working together and doing a job, I don't think anyone would have a problem with that. It's when you introduce the idea that you sleep, and shower, and live together that people like me get uncomfortable.

Now, before you start calling me a bigot, a homophobe and a hater and whatever else, consider that a ship is essentially a prison. It has no bars, people are there by choice and get paid for what they do, butt on the flip side, there are no visiting hours and definitely no conjugal visits. Entertainment consists of what you can watch on TV (movies and on ship programming) and working out in the ship version of the exercise yard. People are isolated for weeks at a time and with no way to get anywhere off that rock...errr...ship. Unless the idea of drowning appeals to you, you're essentially in confinement (and the wife can't understand why, to this day, the whole concept of going on a cruise does not say vacation to me...go figure). Noting the similarity? Consider what happens in prision when someone drops the soap (and don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). Then, tell me I shouldn't be concerned about that, but when you do, please also tell me why....OK, besides because I retired from the Navy and never have to ride a ship again.

the weekend in review

2009-05-11T07:39:00.005-05:00

I'm feeling like quite the slug. I haven't had any exercise in a week and that needs to change. Ordinarily, I wouldn't be all that concerned...just pick up where I left off. Now though, the concern is...I have to ride 100 miles on the 30th, and I have to be ready for that. Well, I don't have to. You never really have to. I mean, I could sleep in that Saturday and act like there is no ride, but I said I would do it...and I will.

The reason I haven't done squat in a week is the Players Championship...and Mother's Day...and the youngster's birthday, which fell on Mother's Day this year. The tournament meant getting to and from work is a real time consuming bear...and I had to work Saturday. No time for bikes, or the gym. Then Sunday, it was Mother's Day brunch and the youngster's birthday...no time there either.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. I enjoyed the weekend thoroughly. The tournament is always fun, even if I have to work part of it. I brought my college roommate with me, and he got to watch quite a bit of it. He's not much of a golfer, but he stayed around the first tee and watched most of the field start, standing his ground on his little piece of bleacher seat while Tiger teed off and the crowd swarmed, and did a fair amount of people watching....and now that they moved the tournament to May, when it's much warmer and women wear less clothing, there's much more of people to watch. Mother's Day, and youngster turning 16, was also a lot of fun. We did Mom's Day brunch at the World Golf Village....very yummy.

Now, it's just time to pay the piper...and I need to get on the stick (not that I ever use cliches).

if you're out and about tomorrow

2009-05-08T09:33:00.001-05:00

If you happen to be at the Players tomorrow, stop by and say 'Hi'. I'll be at the entrance by the first tee, handing out programs (tee sheets) and telling people where to go, which is something I do exceedingly well.

swine flew

2009-05-07T07:08:00.004-05:00

People are complaining about this thing being over hyped and all over the news and causing a panic. I disagree.

For years I've been hearing people propose crazy impossible stuff, and the answer has always been, "Sure, when pigs fly!"

Well, now that they have, everyone's waiting for all that other crazy impossible stuff to happen, and honestly, that's pretty scary.