traffic circles

I spent my early driving years around Philadelphia and South Jersey. South Jersey mainly because my college roommate lived there and we would occasionally terrorize his ancestral home on weekends. It was there I was introduced to the concept of traffic circles. For those of you who have traveled to the U.K., roundabouts. Essentially it's a circle of traffic that takes the place of a traffic light at an intersection. Everyone turns right (or left in countries that choose to drive on the wrong side of the road) and joins the flow around the circle until you get to the road you want to leave on, where you do so.

I still fondly remember the first time I approached one, foot sliding over to the brake and mouthing "What the fu.." as I heard hysteria from my roommate in the passenger seat.

What are you doing??? Do NOT slow down! Don't you DARE stop! Put your foot on the gas and move!!!

...and so we sped up, merged and life was good.

So I learned to deal with the traffic circles of South Jersey, which seemed to work pretty much like the acceleration lane on the interstate. Keep moving and merge. If you stop, you might as well hang it up.

Fast forward to this year, where I work in the somewhat swanky suburb of J'ville known as Ponte Vedra Beach, home to Jaguars and retirees. More often than not, you can see the top of the steering wheel in the car ahead outlining a small head resembling a Q-Tip. Someone decided it would be great fun to install a traffic circle in swanky Ponte Vedra Beach along my commute route. They had to think it'd be fun. They had to do it with a sense of humor, because if that's not it, there was no sense involved at all...or they own a body shop and are hurtin' for business. (Come to think of it, the other place I've seen one of these is Hilton Head, where the local demographic is eerily similar. The body shop theory is gaining credibility.)

First, take people who think living on the edge is pushing the 40 mile an hour speed limit to 41, and then inject this marvel in their lives. These are minds in search of a clue. I'm trying to get to work and some little old lady in her 1985 Mercedes is stopped in the circle, being nice and letting people in from one of the side roads where cars are backed up. That wouldn't be so bad, but the people coming from the side road are hesitant to jump in, because they know she has the right of way and are waiting for her to move, so we're all stopped, staring at each other. This is not a one time occurrence. This, or scenes very similar to it, happen on an hourly basis. We've been dealing with this thing for months now and it's not getting any better.

I want my own personal overpass, dammit!