being a dad
I was reading something and it pretty much got me thinking about this topic. Dad-hood. I've been one of those for almost 12 years now and I think I'm pretty typical. I only have one child (because in the words of Clint Eastwood, a man's got to know his limitations) and he's a handful. He has ADD, so school is a real challenge. Focusing on anything for a real long time, especially if it's something he's not very interested in to start with, is a battle and a half. Again, I'm off on a tangent. Time to get back (and I wonder why my son has a hard time focusing).
I think guys are genetically inclined toward good dad-hood. Most guys, me included, never grew up, and really have no desire to. We are all Peter Pan, cloned. I'm 47 years old and I have and use a skateboard, and roller blades. I do, because these are things I do with my son, and because they're fun. When he opens presents on his birthday, I'm just as excited as he is. When movies like The Incredibles come out on DVD, I'm just as anxious shoving it in the DVD player on day 1 of the release as he is. Harry Potter - I've read them all. When the Super Bowl came here, I was at the NFL Experience, racing him in the 40 yard dash. I should have let him win, but he was talking such trash I had to show him who's dad. Being honest, if the race were a mile or more, he probably would have taken me, but he doesn't know that - yet. So my first point is it's true, the only difference between men and boys is the size and price of their toys, but at the same time, a man can enjoy some of the same toys as his son. Madden 2005 for the X-Box is a shining example. So is silly putty.
Then there's the counter-point. You still have to be dad, and sometimes this part isn't easy. If you just get through that first part, you and your kid are great buddies, but he, or she needs a whole lot more than a buddy. Kids need guidance. They need to know what the boundaries of behavior are and what happens when they cross them....and they will cross them, if for no other reason than to see what happens when they do. Something has to happen. Something vile has to happen, so they know the boundaries are real and shouldn't be crossed. If, when they're 3, you tell them not to walk out in the street, and they watch you while they make a bee line for the road, not even hesitating before their little feet hit the pavement with that 'na na na na naaaaa' smile on their face, you can't be lazy and ignore it. Nor can you just go get them and put them in the grass somewhere. Some version of holy hell needs to rain down on them so they know what they did isn't acceptable. And if you theaten some vile-ness if something isn't done, or if it is, and they cross you just to see what happens, be prepared to carry out the threat, even if you don't like it. I can think of plenty of times I've said things like, "Clean your room by 7:00, or we won't be watching Star Wars tonight." Then when 7:00 comes and goes and the room is still a pile of filth, I'm sitting there thinking, damn...I don't get to watch Star Wars tonight, but so it goes. I'm being punished because my son didn't clean up his room. That's the big kid thing kicking in.
Don't ask me where all this is going except, being a dad can be a blast, but it takes discipline.
I think guys are genetically inclined toward good dad-hood. Most guys, me included, never grew up, and really have no desire to. We are all Peter Pan, cloned. I'm 47 years old and I have and use a skateboard, and roller blades. I do, because these are things I do with my son, and because they're fun. When he opens presents on his birthday, I'm just as excited as he is. When movies like The Incredibles come out on DVD, I'm just as anxious shoving it in the DVD player on day 1 of the release as he is. Harry Potter - I've read them all. When the Super Bowl came here, I was at the NFL Experience, racing him in the 40 yard dash. I should have let him win, but he was talking such trash I had to show him who's dad. Being honest, if the race were a mile or more, he probably would have taken me, but he doesn't know that - yet. So my first point is it's true, the only difference between men and boys is the size and price of their toys, but at the same time, a man can enjoy some of the same toys as his son. Madden 2005 for the X-Box is a shining example. So is silly putty.
Then there's the counter-point. You still have to be dad, and sometimes this part isn't easy. If you just get through that first part, you and your kid are great buddies, but he, or she needs a whole lot more than a buddy. Kids need guidance. They need to know what the boundaries of behavior are and what happens when they cross them....and they will cross them, if for no other reason than to see what happens when they do. Something has to happen. Something vile has to happen, so they know the boundaries are real and shouldn't be crossed. If, when they're 3, you tell them not to walk out in the street, and they watch you while they make a bee line for the road, not even hesitating before their little feet hit the pavement with that 'na na na na naaaaa' smile on their face, you can't be lazy and ignore it. Nor can you just go get them and put them in the grass somewhere. Some version of holy hell needs to rain down on them so they know what they did isn't acceptable. And if you theaten some vile-ness if something isn't done, or if it is, and they cross you just to see what happens, be prepared to carry out the threat, even if you don't like it. I can think of plenty of times I've said things like, "Clean your room by 7:00, or we won't be watching Star Wars tonight." Then when 7:00 comes and goes and the room is still a pile of filth, I'm sitting there thinking, damn...I don't get to watch Star Wars tonight, but so it goes. I'm being punished because my son didn't clean up his room. That's the big kid thing kicking in.
Don't ask me where all this is going except, being a dad can be a blast, but it takes discipline.
John put this out here at 2:08 PM
2 Comments:
I still can't understand what part of Harry Potter actually attracts guys to read the whole book, even looking forward to read the whole series.
My brother never read a non-academic book in his whole life. But when I bought him the 1st Harry Potter book, he was so smitten, he kept on reading it over and over again. How amazing.
Being a parent is the most rewarding unpaid job you will ever have and it's fun too !!!
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