Why you can't believe your e-mail
Call this yet another public service announcement.
I get e-mails all the time from people forwarding jokes or pearls of wisdom, some better than others, and some urban legends warning me of someone trying to bestow upon me (or the general population) some kind of horrible death. Today I got this one:
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
television
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees and
the pill
There was no:
radar
credit cards
laser beams or
ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers
and man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandfather and I got married first, then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a
title, "Sir."
We were before gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all
a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day:
"grass" was mowed,
"coke" was a cold drink,
"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
"chip" meant a piece of wood,
"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
"software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.
How old do is Grandma? I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!
Grandma would be only 58 years old!
Most people get this stuff and go, " WOW! Isn't that amazing." Either that or they delete it without looking. I looked and said, "You have got to be kidding!" I'm sorry, but I'm raising the bullshit flag. A quick check of my profile will tell you that I'm 48 years old. That means Grandma is 10 years my elder. I graduated from college in 1979. That means Grandma was college graduate age in 1969, and makes her a serious child of the 60's. She was more apt to burn her bra, (or her draft card if she was a he) than serve her country. Grandma's first meaningful relationship came when she did, in the back of a VW microbus. Grandma was screaming in the front row when the Beatles crossed the Atlantic. She was naked and stoned at Woodstock. She no more knew Tommy Dorsey than I do. Her Chevy Camero cost a few more than 600 dollars and half her guy friends were in Canada avoiding Viet Nam. "Grass" was mowed, my ass. "Made in Japan" was the name of her Deep Purple album. Making out? She was making love, not war. Just cuz the e-mail says it's so doesn't mean it is.
I get e-mails all the time from people forwarding jokes or pearls of wisdom, some better than others, and some urban legends warning me of someone trying to bestow upon me (or the general population) some kind of horrible death. Today I got this one:
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
television
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees and
the pill
There was no:
radar
credit cards
laser beams or
ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers
and man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandfather and I got married first, then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a
title, "Sir."
We were before gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all
a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day:
"grass" was mowed,
"coke" was a cold drink,
"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
"chip" meant a piece of wood,
"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
"software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.
How old do is Grandma? I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!
Grandma would be only 58 years old!
Most people get this stuff and go, " WOW! Isn't that amazing." Either that or they delete it without looking. I looked and said, "You have got to be kidding!" I'm sorry, but I'm raising the bullshit flag. A quick check of my profile will tell you that I'm 48 years old. That means Grandma is 10 years my elder. I graduated from college in 1979. That means Grandma was college graduate age in 1969, and makes her a serious child of the 60's. She was more apt to burn her bra, (or her draft card if she was a he) than serve her country. Grandma's first meaningful relationship came when she did, in the back of a VW microbus. Grandma was screaming in the front row when the Beatles crossed the Atlantic. She was naked and stoned at Woodstock. She no more knew Tommy Dorsey than I do. Her Chevy Camero cost a few more than 600 dollars and half her guy friends were in Canada avoiding Viet Nam. "Grass" was mowed, my ass. "Made in Japan" was the name of her Deep Purple album. Making out? She was making love, not war. Just cuz the e-mail says it's so doesn't mean it is.
John put this out here at 11:44 AM
1 Comments:
I can't get over the people who send me the 'Save the Kittens grown in a Bottle' forwards. Do they really think a petition is gonna stop it? Hell, I've grown kittens in a bottle for years and they are perfectly happy. Now the puppies in a bottle...well, that's a different story. They go mad trying to figure out how to get to the kittens in the bottle.
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