cycling and doping

I just want to be clear on this.

Unlike some, in my short yet very stellar cycling career, spanning distances of up to thirty-six miles at a shot, so far, I have never taken any performance enhancing substances, unless you count orange juice and a banana before heading out on a Saturday morning. I expect to go much farther than thirty-six miles before it's all said and done. My promise to you all is that I will do so without Human Growth Hormone, steroids, or any other substance banned by whoever it is that bans these things...unless they put chocolate on the list. If that happens, I may need to cheat.