even my imperfections aren't perfect

We are a strange family in many ways. One of those ways is religious. In most families that go to church on Sunday, it's the mom that gets that ball rolling. She's the one who badgers everyone until they get out of bed, nags them until they get ready and gets them all out the door on the way to a Sunday service. In our family, I'm that person. I know it's unusual, because I've had it commented on by several of our friends, who seem to think it's a good thing. I don't consider it good or bad. It's just how we have evolved, and that fact that I'm the morning person in the house probably has more to do with it than any religious conviction.

Part of that comes from how I grew up, and the fact that, when I met the wife, I went to church on Sundays and she didn't. Even well into our marriage, it was just how it was. I got up on Sunday and went. She slept in. That went on until one day, I did something that was more than a little selfish, and we got into this argument. She threw out the old addage about how I thought I was sooooo good, and went to church every Sunday feeling all righteous and shit. I came out with something I guess she never thought of, but seemed so obvious to me.

No, I don't think I'm all that good. I know I'm not. I know I have a lot of flaws and I'm just trying to do the best I can. I'm as broken as anyone else out there, and I am looking for some improvement. I can't think of anyone better to ask for help in that endeavor than God. I don't go to church because I'm a great person. I go to church to ask for help in becoming a good person, and to thank God for the help I've recieved so far. If God can't help me get there, nobody can. A big part of my reason to go to church on Sunday is my admission to God, and to myself, that I need to step up and do my part, but I know I need help.

The next Sunday, she went with me. That was about 15 years ago, and she's been going ever since. We both know we're far from perfect, and we never will be. With help though, and some effort of our own, maybe we'll be a little better people than we were yesterday. That doesn't make me better than anyone else...except maybe better than I was yesterday.

Where'd that all come from? Ellen, at "The Reign of" to the right, there, posted something today that was kind of insightful...about admitting to herself she was "broken". After reading that, this is where I ended up.