Hey USGA! Ya can't fool me!

It's the week of the U.S. Open, and once again, the USGA has taken a course and done things to it to make it a very tough test of golf. They grow the rough and make the greens superfast in an effort to make it that. For that I don't fault them. It's supposed to be real tough. In the last few years though, they've gone too far. It's one thing to make a player make a very good shot to be rewarded. It's quite another to have him make that very good shot and be penalized by course conditions that are a nightmare. Putting greens should be difficult. They should not be a sheet of glass. Last year's tournament at Shinnecock Hills was just plain ridiculous. A few windmills with a big ol' dinosaur in the middle of the course and multicolored balls would be more appropriate. Just pop it over the hill, around the banked turn and into the clown's mouth. Yes, that's the one...in the USGA hat. Although the organization would never say it directly, they crossed a line and knew it, because now they're defending how they "set up" a golf course:

the official party line

Now if you read that you'll find this quote, which hits at the heart of my biggest issue with the USGA and it's tournament, the U.S. Open.

"There is no USGA target score for a U.S. Open. While the final score at some U.S. Open sites will be at or near par, the USGA does not try to formulate a course set up that will only produce a winning score of at or near even par. "

I'm reminded of someone on my T.V. screen saying "I have never had sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinski." (OK, this doesn't have quite the impact, but it does contain the same insult to the collective intelligence.)

The statement is a flat out lie. How else can you explain that they take the shortest 2 par 5 holes on the course each year and waive their magic USGA wand and presto, the holes are now Par 4s? This year at Pinehurst #2, those holes are #8 and #16. The course, for 51 weeks of the year, is a Par 72 course. The course, for that one week, is a Par 70 course, which means if you shoot 71 any other week of the year, you were 1 under par and kicking righteous butt. This week, during the U.S. Open, you're 1 over and sucking hind breast. (For the moment, let's just leave alone the fact that if I were 1 over at the end of a round of golf on any real golf course,I'd be doing the happy dance and not caring who witnessed the occasion, and probably very tough to live with for a good long while. I'm on my soapbox now, and shouldn't be disturbed with such trivialities.) Same 18 holes, same design but oh yeah, the rough's a little longer and the green's faster and par is two strokes less. It's about as straightforward a score manipulation as you could ask for. By doing this, you've just added 8 strokes (in relation to par) to every player who plays all 4 rounds. His total score for all 4 rounds could be 280. This week, that score is even par. Any other week, it's 8 under. But the USGA isn't doing anything to produce a winning score at or near par. Of course they're not. Just ask them.