to go where no man has gone before....

...or at least in close to a century.

Lou Piniella is taking on the job of managing the Chicago Cubs, and vows to make them a winner.

No offense Lou, but who the hell do you think you are, the second coming of Moses? (I served with Moses. I knew Moses. Moses was a friend of mine. Lou, you're no Moses.) I'm sorry, but parting the Red Sea is looking like child's play next to what you're taking on. I saw you manage in Tampa Bay. This is way over your head, dude. I like the Cubs, and to be honest, I would love to see them raised from mediocrity and into the next World Series, but I would also love to win the lottery, and I see both outcomes as equally probable, even though I don't buy lottery tickets. What makes you think you can succeed where 98 years of managers before you have failed? Who painted the huge 'S' on your chest?

I wish you all the luck in the world, but damn....I thought I was an optimist. You make me look like freakin' eeyore.