I guess I could just say no
I suppose this will just be one big whine.
I've taken on another charity bike ride, which makes four for the year. Two years ago, I did my first. Last year I did two. This year it's four. There won't be any more this year and I really need to scale back for next year. I think two...at the outside, three, is my limit. The reasons are several.
One is overall effectiveness. and another is general perception, and they both stem from the same thing. Yes, I make a fairly generous donation to all these causes I ride for. It's a philosophical thing with me. I consider myself fairly fortunate in life. I live in a decent house. My son goes to a nice school. We have food on the table. The wife and I have good jobs (knock on wood) that don't appear to be going anywhere. I feel it's my responsibility to give back to this world that has given me so much. I do that in several ways, but one is the the charities for which I ride. That's me. It's not everybody. Other people may have their own set of causes to support that don't necessarily mesh with mine, or they may not have that same feeling of responsibility. That doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. It just makes us different. Whatever the reason, the novelty of me riding to help charities has worn a little thin with friends and family. Maybe in the first year there was a novelty factor (no way the old fat guy can do this), or it was a way to encourage me to actually go through with riding 100, or 180 miles. Now, they all know I can and will do it again.
So Friday the wife told me about another charity ride, the Tour de Cure, to benefit the American Diabetes Association. Her workplace has a team. She keeps getting asked why I never ride for them when I ride in events like this. She 'hinted' that I could ride with them for this one. I agreed. So I sent out an e-mail to my family, letting them know I was going to ride in the Tour de Cure, and asking anyone who felt the urge to please sponsor me. No response so far. Ok, it was only Friday, so no big deal.
What hit me was Sunday, when I called my parents to say "Happy Easter", my dad gets on the phone and says, "What are you trying to do? Bankrupt us?" Now, keep in mind, this man hasn't contributed to any of the four rides I plan to do this year, yet. None of my family has. Yet, the perception is there. He's just the one who gave it a voice. Apparently, I'm the guy in the family who's trying to suck away all you money. Now, I have to add some perspective. My dad is notoriously cheap. I think part of that comes from growing up in depression era America, and having nothing...and still being afraid that what he has could all disappear tomorrow. His sentiment may not run any farther than between his own ears, but I had a hard time believing I was hearing that kind of question from my own dad. The results speak to the same sentiment though.
The Katie Ride - I got a little help from people at work, but the vast majority of the money raised is mine.
Tour de Cure - granted, I just signed up Friday, but so far, it's all me.
First MS ride in PA - it's all me, to make the minimum donation, but I expected that and didn't ask for help. I figured I ask enough and didn't want to be a pain, so I'd settle for ponying up the minimum for the youngster and me.
Second MS ride in October here - so far mostly me, but in all fairness, there's a lot of time between now and then, and I know I'll get help.
Bottom line though, each of these rides has a minimum donation between $100 and $200, and I'm getting less and less help. I'm not oblivious to the economy, either. I know times are tough, but as far as I know, most of my family hasn't been hit. Of course, if they were I probably wouldn't be told. They'd rather suffer in embarrassed silence than tell somebody they're hurting, and I kind-of understand that.
In the end, the more I say yes to these things, the more burden I put on myself, and that's nobody's fault but mine. I'll get through the rides I obligated myself to this year, even if it's just me doing the minimum. That's the thing, though. I have to wake myself up to the realization that, when I obligate myself to do these things, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm obligating myself, and not anyone else.
I could say no. There are plenty of organized distance rides out there that don't involve charitable contributions. I like the idea that I ride in ones that do, and that I do more than just ride when I do this. Maybe I'll just have to find a couple that don't though, and just do one or two a year that do. Maybe I just need to scale back how much I think I can do,because a lot of it depends on others, and they don't necessarily cooperate with my plans.
I've taken on another charity bike ride, which makes four for the year. Two years ago, I did my first. Last year I did two. This year it's four. There won't be any more this year and I really need to scale back for next year. I think two...at the outside, three, is my limit. The reasons are several.
One is overall effectiveness. and another is general perception, and they both stem from the same thing. Yes, I make a fairly generous donation to all these causes I ride for. It's a philosophical thing with me. I consider myself fairly fortunate in life. I live in a decent house. My son goes to a nice school. We have food on the table. The wife and I have good jobs (knock on wood) that don't appear to be going anywhere. I feel it's my responsibility to give back to this world that has given me so much. I do that in several ways, but one is the the charities for which I ride. That's me. It's not everybody. Other people may have their own set of causes to support that don't necessarily mesh with mine, or they may not have that same feeling of responsibility. That doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. It just makes us different. Whatever the reason, the novelty of me riding to help charities has worn a little thin with friends and family. Maybe in the first year there was a novelty factor (no way the old fat guy can do this), or it was a way to encourage me to actually go through with riding 100, or 180 miles. Now, they all know I can and will do it again.
So Friday the wife told me about another charity ride, the Tour de Cure, to benefit the American Diabetes Association. Her workplace has a team. She keeps getting asked why I never ride for them when I ride in events like this. She 'hinted' that I could ride with them for this one. I agreed. So I sent out an e-mail to my family, letting them know I was going to ride in the Tour de Cure, and asking anyone who felt the urge to please sponsor me. No response so far. Ok, it was only Friday, so no big deal.
What hit me was Sunday, when I called my parents to say "Happy Easter", my dad gets on the phone and says, "What are you trying to do? Bankrupt us?" Now, keep in mind, this man hasn't contributed to any of the four rides I plan to do this year, yet. None of my family has. Yet, the perception is there. He's just the one who gave it a voice. Apparently, I'm the guy in the family who's trying to suck away all you money. Now, I have to add some perspective. My dad is notoriously cheap. I think part of that comes from growing up in depression era America, and having nothing...and still being afraid that what he has could all disappear tomorrow. His sentiment may not run any farther than between his own ears, but I had a hard time believing I was hearing that kind of question from my own dad. The results speak to the same sentiment though.
The Katie Ride - I got a little help from people at work, but the vast majority of the money raised is mine.
Tour de Cure - granted, I just signed up Friday, but so far, it's all me.
First MS ride in PA - it's all me, to make the minimum donation, but I expected that and didn't ask for help. I figured I ask enough and didn't want to be a pain, so I'd settle for ponying up the minimum for the youngster and me.
Second MS ride in October here - so far mostly me, but in all fairness, there's a lot of time between now and then, and I know I'll get help.
Bottom line though, each of these rides has a minimum donation between $100 and $200, and I'm getting less and less help. I'm not oblivious to the economy, either. I know times are tough, but as far as I know, most of my family hasn't been hit. Of course, if they were I probably wouldn't be told. They'd rather suffer in embarrassed silence than tell somebody they're hurting, and I kind-of understand that.
In the end, the more I say yes to these things, the more burden I put on myself, and that's nobody's fault but mine. I'll get through the rides I obligated myself to this year, even if it's just me doing the minimum. That's the thing, though. I have to wake myself up to the realization that, when I obligate myself to do these things, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm obligating myself, and not anyone else.
I could say no. There are plenty of organized distance rides out there that don't involve charitable contributions. I like the idea that I ride in ones that do, and that I do more than just ride when I do this. Maybe I'll just have to find a couple that don't though, and just do one or two a year that do. Maybe I just need to scale back how much I think I can do,because a lot of it depends on others, and they don't necessarily cooperate with my plans.
Labels: It's all about me, Whining
John put this out here at 7:52 AM
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