The Ice Bucket Challenge

I've seen a bunch of people take this challenge, but at the same time, I've seen a bunch of people trying to douse the whole thing with a cold wet blanket, saying 'just shut up and donate money' or 'look at all the water being wasted'.  That shit kinda pisses me off.  If everybody would 'just shut up and donate money', do you know what we get?  We get last year's results, whch frankly suck when compared to this year's.

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and why it works - I've seen several posts where people are wondering how a bunch of people pouring buckets of ice water over their heads can possibly help cure ALS. I'm here to help.

The actual act of pouring a bucket of ice water over your head does absolutely nothing. However, when you take that act, record it and put it on social media in a challenge to your friends, family and whatnot, it becomes a powerful tool. If you challenge others to do the same and/or donate money to ALS, it engages your social circle, putting something in their head that wouldn't normally be there. They in turn could ignore it, in which case, no harm done. They could, however, pour a bucket of ice water over their head and/or donate to ALS. If they pour a bucket of ice water over their head and post it to social media, the social circles expand and more people at least THINK about donating to a worthy cause. Some of those people, who wouldn't otherwise, actually do. Enough people do that it's spiking donations for ALS.

The numbers bear it out. Last year during this same period, the ALS Association's donations during the period of this Ice Bucket Challenge amounted to approximately 1.5 million dollars. Over the same period this year, over ten times that amount has been donated and it's climbing. So, people pouring ice water over their heads IS making a huge undeniable difference, whether they personally give money to the ALS Association, or manage to cajole others to do it. The water being 'wasted' is just a drop in the bucket.  People, who are posting video of themselves pouring buckets of ice water over their heads and not donating anything, are being criticized by judgemental assholes for getting to feel good about helping without actually donating to money the cause.  So what?!?  First of all, you're assuming they didn't donate money.  You don't know, nor is it any of your business, if they did or how much.  Good stuff is coming out of it.  If it's working, don't knock it.

upgrade the software or die

About 10 months ago, our television died. We have 3, but this was the main one. It was the one in the family room that we sit down and watch together, when we do such things. If we rent movies or watch something as a family, this is where it happens. So losing that TV was a big deal. It had lived a long and happy life. We had it for about 10 years, and it was to the point where it would cost as much (or more) to repair than to buy a replacement.

It was not a huge screen or flat screen TV. It was supposedly HD compatible, but we never figured out how to get that to work. It just wasn't a priority. The picture was just fine as it was. When it died though, the wife decided it was time to take the leap into the present. We, like most of our friends, should have the big flat high definition screen...and we made it so.

We went to a store and bought a 52 inch Sony high definition TV. All was right with the world.

Until last night. I came home from work to find the wife staring at a blank screen, listening to the news. You could hear it just fine, but there was no picture.. We ate dinner, and I went to work on the TV. I turned it off and unplugged all the cables attached to it and plugged them all back in, making sure they were all secure, and turned it back on. Still, sound and no picture. I tried the DVD player. Same thing. I tried the TV's menu system. Success there. I could see and navigate that, but still no broadcast picture.

I played with the menus until I got to a product support section. I had an 800 number and a website. The wife dialed. I went to the computer. I figured one of us would come up with something. Through both of those venues, we came up with the same answer. The television's software needed an upgrade.

I got on the phone with the woman the wife was talking to. Through a thick asian accent, I got that I needed to get the software upgrade through the internet. I tried to ask how that was supposed to happen. The TV isn't connected to the internet. There's no place to insert any kind of disk. How does one upgrade the software? All I got from the woman (over and over again) was I needed to get it from the internet. She was incapable of giving me specifics about how I go about doing this. I guess this is how Sony and other companies deal with customer support now. If the answer isn't something you want to hear, they have someone from another country tell you, so they don't understand when you ask for specifics of how to do something, and they just re-read the script they've been given. Your frustration really doesn't matter.

I tried to get the TV to connect to our wireless router. It wasn't happening. I called Best Buy and they asked me what Sony recommended. Once we got past that joke, it was determined that I needed some hardware to get the TV to communicate with our router and upload the software upgrade. $200 and a few hours later, we had television again.

Aside from Sony's inadequate customer support, my real frustration is the initial problem. So, television works fine on Wednesday. Television is broke Thursday. The solution is...software upgrade?? Doesn't software upgrade imply some improvement or new feature not available before? Usually if you don't upgrade, doesn't that mean you just miss out on something that wasn't available, but now is? Should you not be able to continue in blissful ignorance, without whatever great new thing that's been added to enhance your viewing experience? I didn't realize "upgrade" meant continue to function as a television.

laziness begets ignorance

"You know the Jaguars fans, the home crowd will not be a factor-"
-Antonio Pierce, ESPN SportsCenter

Ya know, after a while I just have to laugh. These talking heads who work for ESPN don't do much of anything if they can get away with doing nothing. I'm guessing Antonio Pierce has never been to a home Jaguar game. He's just jumping on the "Jacksonville is a pit" bandwagon. This year lots of stadiums are not selling out and blackouts are a huge issue. The national media has all kinds of economy excuses and they talk about how fans across the country are having a tough time making ends meet, let alone paying a few hundred dollars to take the family to a game. Not only that, you get a better view of the game from home on your TV, provided the game is being aired. Yeah, and last year when the Jaguars were having problems selling out the stadium, apparently none of these factors came into play. According to the national media, we just sucked.

Now, we have this piece of tripe. Yo Antonio "too lazy to do any actual research so I'll just make it up as I go" Pierce. Do us all a favor and actually watch tonight's game....and listen to the crowd.

Craigslist

I've had the opportunity to deal with/in craigslist lately (craigslist.org for the uninitiated). We bought the youngster's car there last fall, and recently, we sold his old bike there.

It works, but what struck me is the complete lack of consideration. People don't really know you, so they take it upon themselves to treat you like you don't matter.

I'd get e-mails on the youngster's bike, asking when someone could see it. We'd agree on a time and...no show. No show. No call. No e-mail. No nothing. I e-mailed one guy back and asked why. He bought a different bike. Well, OK, but would it be too much trouble to say something, so we aren't sitting around the house waiting on your ass?

If it happened once, I wouldn't whine too much, but this became a pattern. I had a bunch of people tell me they were incredibly interested, and asked when they could see it. The first six people who expressed an interest and set a time to see it never showed. The last guy who was 'very interested' wanted to see it right now...like in a half hour. I said OK, and told the wife. We both kind of smirked and wondered if he'd actually come. He did and he bought it.

Same thing happened when we bought the youngster's car. We set a time to look at one car. We were driving there at about 7:30 in the evening, and the wife called ahead to get more specific directions as we approached the seller's development. He sold the car that afternoon. Again, do you think you could have called us and saved us the trouble of road trippin' to your house to see a car that's no longer there?

So my lesson for the day...craigslist - yes, it works. you can buy and sell stuff there. There are deals to be had if you shop there. Just be prepared to be treated like shit along the way.

drivers vs. riders

There's been a lot of accidents recently around here, involving cars and bicyclists, and it just kinda gets to me. In every case, especially if it makes the news, people from both sides get their panties in a wad and I keep thinking....can't we just get along?

First there's the drivers. I hear everything from "bikes don't belong on the road, so stay off it" to "I don't mind sharing, but those cyclists hog the whole thing, riding two and three across...and they don't obey the law. They blow through stop signs/red lights, etc. etc." to the best one (and I'm paraphrasing, but this was actually the comment) "if the speed limit says I can do 55 and I come around a blind curve and can't see you and hit you, that's your fault for being there."

On the cyclist side, I hear "the law says we can take the whole lane, so shut up"

I'm not going to address the people who say we shouldn't ride on the road. We can. We do. Get used to it and please watch out for us. For the people who say we don't obey the rules, you're right and I for one, apologize. I do obey the rules for the most part, and I cringe when I'm in a group that blows through a light, or I see those people on the road. They give all of us a bad name, and that pisses me off.

One caveat - there are time I will blow through a light. I ride several routes a lot, and I know the lights. I know which ones have sensors that can detect me and my bike and which ones can't, and the chances are about 50/50. I've sat at lights, waiting and waiting.....and waiting some more, and have it just not notice I'm there, until a car pulls up behind me. After doing that once at a specific light, I won't do it again. If the coast is clear, I'm pedaling. Most of the ones on newer roads can figure me out though, if I park right over the center and wait for them to change. Stop signs, I'll slow to a near stop and if I'm clear, I'm going. Complete stops are a pain in the butt if I don't have to. If its an intersection and I'm not there first, I stop and wait my turn.

The other complaint is about us hogging the whole road, and here again, I side with drivers, and I cringe when I see cyclists riding 3 abreast and socializing on the road. Yeah, the law says we can take the lane and cars should go around us. Just because the law says we can, doesn't mean we have to. I went on a memorial ride for a rider who was killed by a driver. It's done every year and follows his route to the place he was hit. There was a brief by the ride leader before hand, and it sounded downright militant. "We'll ride two abreast, filling the right lane at 12 miles an hour." Well damn, people...are we trying to piss people off? We really can ride single file and share the road...really share it. Just because the law allows you to be an asshole, doesn't mean you have to jump into the role with both feet.

I guess, I'm just asking everyone to think of the other people on the road. If you're in your car, please watch out for us. If the speed limit is 55 and you take a blind curve, hitting something around it is your fault. Slow down and take responsibility for what you're doing. If you have to wait a second to get around some bicyclists, well, slow down. If you're bicycling, do your best to stay to the right and really share the road. Take the space you need, but don't hog the lane, and when you get to red lights...stop. I'm tired of living with your reputation.

We could make this work if we all try to be a little more considerate.

lawn watering restrictions

Like some of you I'm sure, we're dealing with lawn watering restrictions. We're only allowed to water our lawns twice a week. Odd numbered houses can do it on Wednesday and Saturday, but not during the middle of the day when most of the water evaporates and doesn't do squat for the yard. Even numbered houses can do it on Thursday and Sunday.

Overall, it's been no big deal, lawn-wise. I never watered it more than twice a week anyway. Most of the summer, we've had lots of rain, so I've done very little human-assisted lawn watering at all, restrictions or no. My issue isn't the lawn.

My issue is water pressure. We haven't had rain since last Thursday, so this morning (Wednesday), every odd numbered house in a bazillion mile radius of mine was running sprinklers on their lawn to keep their grass healthy. I...was trying to take a shower while getting ready for work. It was damned difficult! The water was barely coming out and the pressure was non-existent.

I don't mind the restriction on lawn watering. Twice a week is plenty and we could all stand to abide by that (not that the restrictions really matter, because they aren't enforced and there are plenty of people who ignore them, but that's another matter). Do we all have to water on the same freaking day though? Can we spread it out a little more, so half the world isn't trying to water their lawn on the same day and suck the water pressure down to where you can barely take a shower? This is bordering on ridiculous, but then again, I don't know what more I expected. Once government bureaucracy gets involved in anything, common sense seems to disappear.

you say 'tomato', I say RUN

Let me start with...I like tomatoes. I like slices on burgers. I like them in salads. I have no real problem with tomatoes. What I have a problem with is tomato plants, and the people who grow them, starting with my parents.

My issue is the number of tomatoes that come off the average tomato plant, and the inability of the owners of those plants to consume what they produce. The inevitable result of that is the arrival of the tomato pusher. You know who I'm talking about because if you aren't one, you've run into them.

"You like tomatoes, don't you? Here, please take this truckload off my hands."

Every time I see my parents, I get more tomatoes thrust on me than I will eat in a year. I have neighbors who are the same way. They get insulted if I won't take their tomatoes. I don't know how grocery stores sell any in the summer. I haven't purchased a tomato in eons (or, OK...since February). I throw away more than I eat. They keep giving me suggestions on how I could serve/eat even more tomatoes and to be honest...I'm not that crazy about them. I like them with certain other foods, but I don't just pick up a tomato and eat it. I wish I did. My summer grocery bill would drop to almost nothing.

cell phones

I've blogged before about my dislike for cell phones. My biggest beefs about them are people driving while using them, or rather, using them and attempting to perform something akin to driving, and having a 24/7 leash by which the world believes you at their beck and call.

Well for the last few days, stately Lumberyard manor has become cell phone dependent. We had a lightning strike near the house Friday, and while everything else seems to have survived unscathed, the home phone line did not. A call to AT&T left us believing it'd be fixed by Monday. When the wife called them Monday afternoon to find out why we still have no home phone line, they informed her it was fixed. She asked what part of fixed meant when you tried to call our house, you still got a busy signal, and when you turned on our phone, you still got no dial tone. The answer was, we'll get it fixed by....get this...Thursday. She started to ask if the technician who "fixed" the line tested it, by maybe...oh I dunno...calling the house and see if he got through. She could see that quickly turning into..."It'll be fixed by next Monday." Nothing good was coming out of that line of sarcastic questioning.

So we're using cell phones for our communication with the outside world, and I gotta tell ya...compared to a land line, they suck. When I use mine from time to time when I'm away from home, it doesn't really hit me. Now that I've been using nothing but a cell phone for several days, there's no comparison to a land line when it comes to quality of the conversation. There's all kinds of reception issues and words that get dropped out and sounding like you're in a tunnel that you just don't deal with in a home phone, and this from the company that claims more bars in more places. I wonder if they're talking drinking establishments, because they aren't delivering in the connection quality department.

IE 8

Last night I was goofing off on the web, and some banner ad came up for Internet Explorer 8. Now, I try to stay up to date with IE, if for no other reason than I occasionally buy things through the web, and I figure the latest and greatest from Microsoft will probably do a better job of protecting my credit cards and such. Maybe I'm off base, but that's the rationale.

So, I visited the Microsoft website (cuz I don't trust banner ads) and found the download, and proceeded on my merry way. I should stop here, and say I like a clean browser. I'm no fan of toolbars. I don't want Yahoo's tool bar, Google's tool bar, MSN's tool bar...none of that shit. I'll find what I want, when I want it without your handy dandy button always on my screen, thank you very much. So it all finished and I had to restart the computer. I did, and....I fired up the new version that doesn't look much different than the old one except....the usable screen is about half the size because now I've got every tool bar known to man taking up the top half. My favorites now have 50 bazillion MSN websites taking up the top 99% of the drop down box. My new home page (I didn't know I needed one) is now MSN. It took me longer to clean that carp up than it did to download the thing in the first place.

I guess I could just say no

I suppose this will just be one big whine.

I've taken on another charity bike ride, which makes four for the year. Two years ago, I did my first. Last year I did two. This year it's four. There won't be any more this year and I really need to scale back for next year. I think two...at the outside, three, is my limit. The reasons are several.

One is overall effectiveness. and another is general perception, and they both stem from the same thing. Yes, I make a fairly generous donation to all these causes I ride for. It's a philosophical thing with me. I consider myself fairly fortunate in life. I live in a decent house. My son goes to a nice school. We have food on the table. The wife and I have good jobs (knock on wood) that don't appear to be going anywhere. I feel it's my responsibility to give back to this world that has given me so much. I do that in several ways, but one is the the charities for which I ride. That's me. It's not everybody. Other people may have their own set of causes to support that don't necessarily mesh with mine, or they may not have that same feeling of responsibility. That doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. It just makes us different. Whatever the reason, the novelty of me riding to help charities has worn a little thin with friends and family. Maybe in the first year there was a novelty factor (no way the old fat guy can do this), or it was a way to encourage me to actually go through with riding 100, or 180 miles. Now, they all know I can and will do it again.

So Friday the wife told me about another charity ride, the Tour de Cure, to benefit the American Diabetes Association. Her workplace has a team. She keeps getting asked why I never ride for them when I ride in events like this. She 'hinted' that I could ride with them for this one. I agreed. So I sent out an e-mail to my family, letting them know I was going to ride in the Tour de Cure, and asking anyone who felt the urge to please sponsor me. No response so far. Ok, it was only Friday, so no big deal.

What hit me was Sunday, when I called my parents to say "Happy Easter", my dad gets on the phone and says, "What are you trying to do? Bankrupt us?" Now, keep in mind, this man hasn't contributed to any of the four rides I plan to do this year, yet. None of my family has. Yet, the perception is there. He's just the one who gave it a voice. Apparently, I'm the guy in the family who's trying to suck away all you money. Now, I have to add some perspective. My dad is notoriously cheap. I think part of that comes from growing up in depression era America, and having nothing...and still being afraid that what he has could all disappear tomorrow. His sentiment may not run any farther than between his own ears, but I had a hard time believing I was hearing that kind of question from my own dad. The results speak to the same sentiment though.

The Katie Ride - I got a little help from people at work, but the vast majority of the money raised is mine.

Tour de Cure - granted, I just signed up Friday, but so far, it's all me.

First MS ride in PA - it's all me, to make the minimum donation, but I expected that and didn't ask for help. I figured I ask enough and didn't want to be a pain, so I'd settle for ponying up the minimum for the youngster and me.

Second MS ride in October here - so far mostly me, but in all fairness, there's a lot of time between now and then, and I know I'll get help.

Bottom line though, each of these rides has a minimum donation between $100 and $200, and I'm getting less and less help. I'm not oblivious to the economy, either. I know times are tough, but as far as I know, most of my family hasn't been hit. Of course, if they were I probably wouldn't be told. They'd rather suffer in embarrassed silence than tell somebody they're hurting, and I kind-of understand that.

In the end, the more I say yes to these things, the more burden I put on myself, and that's nobody's fault but mine. I'll get through the rides I obligated myself to this year, even if it's just me doing the minimum. That's the thing, though. I have to wake myself up to the realization that, when I obligate myself to do these things, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm obligating myself, and not anyone else.

I could say no. There are plenty of organized distance rides out there that don't involve charitable contributions. I like the idea that I ride in ones that do, and that I do more than just ride when I do this. Maybe I'll just have to find a couple that don't though, and just do one or two a year that do. Maybe I just need to scale back how much I think I can do,because a lot of it depends on others, and they don't necessarily cooperate with my plans.

grow a set of your own

Ya know, sometimes the people of this world make me shake my head.

The youngster's out of elementary school, but the school he attended has a golf tournament fund raiser every year. Even though the youngster isn't a student there anymore, I still volunteer to help out, as well as play in the thing. It's for a good cause, and all.

So every year I run the putting contest. No big deal. The course staff maps out some long difficult putt on the practice green. Everyone gets two tries, and the guy who gets closest wins. If more than one guy puts the ball in the hole, the few that do have a putt-off at the end to determine a winner.

I've learned, after doing this for a lot of years, that some guys show up unprepared. They usually show up with their own putter, but some have no balls. Being the consummate pro that I am, I pull two or three out of my bag to use as loaners, and take them with me to the practice green before the thing starts. This year was no exception. I took three with me, and they proved useful.

This is the first year, though, that when the dust settled and a winner was crowned, I looked down and there was only one ball left, and it was the cheap ball I found somewhere (ie. didn't buy).

OK, they aren't that expensive, but it's the principle of the thing. You use my balls for the contest because you forgot your own. You know they aren't yours. Other people might need them (and when it's all said and done, I might). Yet, you pocket them...at a charity function for a small Catholic school.

I'd love to put a positive spin on it all, but...

I don't know how.

The Jaguars season is a total mess. I talked to my brother in Philadelphia last night, who is an Eagles fan. I guess the one nice thing I can say is I'm not alone in my misery. His team isn't doing any better.

I went and witnessed the debacle yesterday. I sat down and watched us take the opening kickoff to the 30. Then I watched the defining moment of our season, as our center snapped the ball into his own ass, with the quarterback standing back in the shotgun. Apparently someone expected him to be under center. Fumble....touchdown Vikings. Then I watched them kickoff a second time. Fumble on the return. Touchdown Vikings. Third time's a charm though, as we actually ran our first offensive play, down 14 points with over 13 minutes left in the first quarter.

I'll give the boys credit. they fought their way back and by halftime, it wasn't looking all that bleak. We were down a touchdown, but we were moving the ball and the defense looked OK. I had hope. That dissolved quickly in the second half, as we just melted down....to Gus Frerotte and the Vikings, for God's sake. Does it get any worse?

I have tickets to one more game this year, in December on a Thursday night against the Colts. I have yet to sit in the stands and see us actually win a game this year, and that's in four attempts so far...five with that Colts game. I've seen at least four games every year this team has been in existence, splitting season tickets with someone else each year. Every year, I've been there for at least one victory. Even in year one, the expansion year, I saw us win at home, with my butt in a seat. I've never gone a whole year without seeing us win a single game in person. This is shaping up to be my year.

sometimes you really gotta wonder about all the stuff you're supposed to eat or not eat

Sometimes I think I ought to just stop listening to the so-called experts, and just stuff my face with lard.

I have cholesterol/blood pressure issues. Some of those are hereditary, and I guess I have to go with that, since both of my parents, and my brothers have the same issues. My sister may as well, but I've never discussed it with her. Since the wife and I pretty much eat the same stuff, and she doesn't have the same problem, I guess heredity is at least part of the problem.

Another part has been a lack of exercise, but I've been putting some serious effort into correcting that piece of the problem.

Lastly, we have diet. Mr. My Doctor has, for years been telling me to eat fresh fruits and veggies, less meat, very little bread and potatoes and take vitamin E every day. It was supposed to help clean out the blood vessels, keeping the cholesterol numbers down. Well, I read something in the paper the other day that said a new study (doncha just love when you get a new study?) suggests vitamin E doesn't do squat to help keep the cholesterol numbers down, and may even hurt. So when I went to see Mr. My Doctor, I asked him about that, and he said, "Yeeeeaaaah, maybe you should stop the vitamin E. If I was going to suggest anything that will help you fight high cholesterol as a supplement, I'd probably go with fish oil."

I've been buying/swallowing vitamin E for about the last 10 years, and noe I find out it probbaly didn't do a damn thing, except possibly hurt the cause. Then, who's to say in two years, and even newer study won't tell me fish oil clogs arteries, and sweet creamy butter is the best thing for you?

sour grapes

I know I'm going to get even more tired of it all than I am now, so the real eye rolls have yet to come, but...

I get so frustrated with what passes for an objective media in this country and the things they say. Last night I listened to several talking heads, in the midst of the love fest, say that Barak Obama won in spite of his color. I couldn't disagree more. I think, for probably 80% of America, his color wasn't an issue at all. The issues were the issues. George Bush was a huge issue. Of the other 20%, there's a small minority of hate filled nutbags out there who didn't vote for him because he's black, but he wasn't getting those votes anyway. Those people wouldn't have voted for him if he was white, either. The rest were people who voted for him because he's black. To emphasize that point, they interviewed person after person who celebrated the fact that black people in this country now believe they can do anything..that they can become president. Are you telling me it was coincidence that all those people interviewed just happened to be black, or that skin color was no consideration in their vote? On top of that, I think a lot of white America felt good about voting for him because of his skin color. They were enhancing their self-view and affirming that they're not racist, by voting for a non-white person. Voting for Obama made them feel better about themselves. All I'm saying is, if anything, his color helped him. It certainly didn't hurt him and he didn't win in spite of it. I am happy to hear that black people finally get it. I'm ecstatic that they have now figured out that if you work your ass off, anybody can be successful in this country regardless of color. Does this mean we can finally burn that race card, and stop playing it when we don't get what we want?

To be honest, I think Barak Obama won because most people in this country are way fed up with George Bush, and didn't walk, but ran, in the opposite direction. The baby went with the bath water. Dubya 's approval rating in this country is somewhere below sea level. Obama's best strategy was to saddle John McCain with everything George Bush did (or didn't do), and he was successful. He, very politely and eloquently, harnessed all that negativity and rage and turned it into victory. The economic disaster of the past few months certainly didn't hurt either.

I don't think John McCain did enough to help his cause. If I'm honest about it, I don't think McCain ran a strong enough or smart enough campaign. I think he spent too much time trying to bash Obama and not enough time making himself the better choice. McCain isn't a "run of the mill" conservative Republican, and that's one of the things I like most about him. Do you remember when he got the nomination? All those conservative talk show hosts were wailing and gnashing their teeth. There was a good reason for that...and I liked it. He wasn't very effective in making that distinction known, and Obama was far more effective in putting George Bush's face on McCain's body. Also, if I'm honest about it, even if he had been successful in distancing himself from Dubya, it may not have been enough.

In a perfect Lumberyard world (assuming we keep the outcome of the election), Obama wins the election, because that's what America asked for. He'd then appoint John McCain Secretary of State, or maybe a lesser post, but one that makes the most of his strengths. Sarah Palin could go back to Alaska and occasionally host Saturday Night Live. People want to say she hurt McCain's chances. I don't think so. I do think she didn't help as much as someone like Romney would have, though. She was a small fish in way too big a pond, but back to the point...there'd be a bipartisan cabinet that takes in everybody's strengths to make the best government possible. That won't happen. It wouldn't have happened if McCain won either and has never happened in the past, but I think we'd be better off if it did. I think most politicians put party first and the country second, and that's one of our government's faults. Just as the democrats started looking for ways to make Dubya look bad so they could retake the White House when he was elected, I'll bet there are Republicans doing just that right now, where their energy would be better spent trying to make the curreent government better. I'll give him this though. I think Obama will come closer to that Lumberyard ideal than any President has in the past, and I'm hoping he doesn't prove me wrong.

One other thing. At least I think I can count on the current administration to leave office gracefully, without some juvenile stupidity, like taking all the "O"s off the keyboards in all the offices.

Fear not Detroit

After a 3 and 3 start, the hapless Jaguars are headed your way. First, it’s bad enough that I look back at that 3 and 3 start and refer to it as “the good ‘ol days.” Losing as much as you win ain’t good. Still, it’s far better than where we stand now.

Last week was a serious blow to my hopes of seeing my boys in the playoffs. A home loss to the Browns was ugly. What was uglier was, it wasn’t exactly a fluke. The Browns deserved to win that game. They were the better team. Still, there was a glimmer of hope. The next two games were against teams that hadn’t won all year. At least we could get back to a winning record and some level of respectability.

But NOOOOOO!

Hold on Skippy. Yesterday I sat in disbelief. Who were those guys? This was the Bengals, without their starting quarterback. We made the backup look like a pro bowler. Our defense, which is supposed to be the definition of this tough, hard nosed team, wasn’t even a speed bump in the face of the Bengals offensive juggernaut. The offense? I’ve whined all season about our woes up front. We lost our starting guards in the first game of the season, and the replacements simply aren’t. There was hope in getting one guy back from injury that started at guard for us last year, and he broke his hand in pregame warm-ups last week, which would have been his first start. Without those guys, our rushing attack is severely hampered, and our passing game still leaves much to be desired. There was an attempt to make that better in the off season, bringing in Jerry Porter. To say he’s been a disappointment would be an understatement, in a season filled with understatement.

In post game interviews, I keep hearing, "This is a good team. We just have to..." stop it. Stop it right there. Who are you trying to convince? You just lost in consecutive weeks to the Browns and the Bengals...coming out of the bye week. You're not a good team. You think you're a good team, because you keep believing your press, but you're not a good team. Come to grips with that. Good teams don't do what you just did. Today, Del Rio said the effort is there, but the execution is lacking. That's more than just a glass half full view. The effort's not there. It takes effort to execute correctly, and that effort is lacking....a lot.

So, there ya go Detroit. You’re a winless team, NOW, but not to worry. The answer to your prayers is coming to Ford Field next Sunday. We dug the Bengals out of their misery, saving them from being the first team in NFL history to have a winless season. We can do the same for you. Everybody’s feel good team (as long as you’re not rooting for them) is coming your way. If all goes according to this year’s script, you’ll be walking out of next weekend with a smile of relief on your face…because the selfless Jaguars will lay down for you, too.

the plural of RBI is not RBI

Does this bother anyone else but me?

I'm tired of listening to talking heads on TV discussing baseball stats, and hearing about how a player had 2, or 10, or 75 RBI. I realize that an RBI is a Run Batted In, and one is an RBI. Two are Runs Batted In, and in today's chic, trendy world, that still comes out as RBI. It may even be correct English, but it's not right, dammit. It's just not.

When you have more than one, they are RBIs...with an 's'. They're also ribbys. The 's' on the end has been there for years ands it just belongs. It's part of baseball. When you take it of, it sounds so not part of baseball and just a tad elitist.

So get with the program, sportscaster people, and keep the 's' on the end of those RBIs.

Fay's finally gone

Yesterday we saw the last remnants of Tropical Storm Fay, not that it means we're drying out. We have rain in the forecast for today. It's just not Fay related.

I'm very tired of wet weather, but more than that, I'm really tired of the humidity that comes with a tropical system. The air is incredibly thick now, and has been for the last several days. I got in a bike ride yesterday between rain showers, and was a dripping sweaty mess when I finished. OK, I'm usually a dripping sweaty mess when I finish, but not like that.

On the good side, because I usually rip these guys and to be fair, I need to give them props when they actually pull through. We lost power for maybe a total of 10 minutes through the whole Fay incident. FPL kept us up and running through the whole thing. Living in that humidity with no air conditioning is a bear. I know. We've done it before. I'm just glad we didn't have to do it again.

No, we don't get to dry out quite yet, but that light is at the end of the very wet tunnel...and I can see it.

livin' the fancy dancy life

So I'm staying in the fancy dancy hotel that's within walking distance of the training class I'm taking. (I wouldn't want to mention any names, but it's initials are Westin.) I'm doing that precisely because it's within walking distance of the training class. Otherwise I probably wouldn't bother.

I'm going to come off as Mr. Tightwad (something I know I get from my dad, who's the absolute worst), but it strikes me here in fancy dancy land that...isn't it enough that the price of admission is ridiculous? I'm getting a discount rate to stay here, and that's more than $150 a night...for a small room with a nice bathroom and a comfy bed. There's no real place for your clothes besides the floor and a closet, which is cool if you have a bunch of hang up clothes, but I brought more of the folding variety. There's a small fridge, but it's chock full of their stuff and it has some electronic gizmo on it that detects the slightest movement of any of the contents. If you move it, you bought it...or so says the big warning on the front. If there's nothing in there you want...like maybe a gatorade after a workout instead of the supplied coke, red bull or beer, you can go buy some at the local grocery store, but you can't keep it cold in your room, because that small fridge stuffed with their crap is all there is. There's wireless internet access...for a measly $12.95 a day. That's over $90 in a week...which pretty much has to cover their entire internet nut for a month. At truck stops across America, wireless internet access is free. In fancy dancy hotel land, it's $12.95 a day. Excuse me for feeling just a tad gouged. Needless to say, I was disinclined to acquiesce to the $12.95 internet offer..and watched the Olympics and the weather channel, because there's an ominous weather pattern named Fay which may affect my ability to get home.

Undaunted, I went to the local drug store and bought a gatorade and went to the small workout room. It was plenty big enough, though, because I pretty much had it to myself. Again, I'm in fancy dancy land, so all the machines have little TVs in them. Way cool...except the sound doesn't work at all. I turned the volume up to max and got...nuthin'. That was especially evident on the elliptical machine..because while the little TV made no sound, the machine made plenty. I would have picked another, if there was another. This thing was grinding, and felt like it was about to fall apart...like someone needed to tighten some nuts and bolts. I could have picked a treadmill, too, but I was being stubborn. I figured, well, if it breaks, it breaks. Then they'll have to do something to fix it. It didn't, though. It just sounded like it was going to. The workout place got me through what I needed it for, so I shouldn't whine too much, even if my drink was lukewarm.

I know I'm whining, but my point is...for freakin' $150 a night, shouldn't I get free internet? Shouldn't I be able to keep things cold that I buy someplace outside the hotel? Shouldn't there be a chest of drawers to hold clothes? Shouldn't these people maintain the workout equipment? Shouldn't there be a TV remote that lets me pick a channel number and adjust the volume, instead of just having a channel up and down rocker, and volume controls on the TV itself? Oh sure, it's incredibly easy to select a movie, for which they'll charge you, but it's not so incredibly easy if all you want to do is watch the Olympics. Then if you turn it off and turn it back on, you don't go back to NBC, which is where you left it. You go back to the hotel's movie selection channel, where they can once again pitch whatever feature films they have available. Oh, and in case you missed it, the channels on either side of that using the rocker switch are the same thing.

I just can't shake the feeling that I'm walking around with their hand in my wallet. If I would have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express, I'd pay half the price, the internet would be free and there'd be room in a fridge for my stuff...and I'd walk out twice as smart (because, we all know, that happens at a Holiday Inn Express). Maybe being twice as smart comes with the prerequisite that you stay away from fancy dancy land.

can I have my Olympics back now?

On the eve of the Olympic games, I feel like I have to ask...can it be a sporting event now?

This grand stage of sports seems to get more politicized every time. Every fringe group on earth sees a place where most of the world's television cameras are going to be, and therefore a stage to get their cause seen. That happens when they don't put the games in China. Now that they have, it's all the worse, and really, shame on the I.O.C. for giving the games to Beijing, knowing full well that this would happen.

Who the hell actually believed the Chinese when they said there would be open access to just about everything? Those people don't know how to define open access....to anything. Who thought this whole Tibet situation was going to quietly simmer while every spotlight in the universe is right next door? Who thought every human rights group on earth was going to self impose a gag order so the world could go to China and engage in sport? How naive can you possibly be?

So now we have this event, that is usually over-politicized, and ratcheted that aspect up a bazillion percent. Lost in all this are athletes...who have dedicated their lives to being the best they can be in a sport, wanting to go and compete against the best from all over the world. At one time, the Olympics used to be about those athletes. It's now become more about the smog problem, the great firewall, the Dali Lama, and the dissidents who aren't being allowed to protest close to the Olympic venues. Please....at some point...can it be about sports again?

boogity boogity boogity - let's go racin' boys

A few months ago I got an e-mail from the captains of our MS bike ride team. We had this awesome opportunity, if we could get enough volunteers, to raise money. We could run a concession stand at Daytona International Speedway for the Coke Zero 400 over July 4th weekend. Whatever profits we make go to the team and eventually to the MS Society.

I thought about it. First there was a little pang of guilt. The team had a car wash last year and I blew it off…and they were a bit short of people. This year I wanted to participate. Then there was the event….a NASCAR race. I have lots of friends who are NASCAR fans, and all of them say you can’t judge it from what you see on TV. You have to actually go to a race to appreciate it. I’ll admit I’ve never been all that big on NASCAR, but I figured…this would be a good opportunity to see what it’s all about.

I raised my hand and said, “Sure, I’m in.”

It wasn’t until after I did that, that the time commitment hit me. We had to be at the track at 11:30 a.m. and the race doesn’t start until after 8:00 p.m. We might be out by midnight…and with no traffic, Daytona is about an hour away. Then I found out there's a dress code. We had to wear a t-shirt, but it couldn't advertise the charity we were supporting, and we couldn't wear shorts (some lawyer-speak thing about handling hot food and maybe accidentally dropping it on your legs and ensuing lawsuits) in July in Daytona, Florida. Yowza!

I e-mailed a few people who were doing it with me trying to arrange car pool stuff. I ended up with one other person. Everyone else was already going to be there (because they’re into NASCAR and were attending the pre-race festivities) or were coming from elsewhere (like Orlando) on the long 4th of July weekend.

We left at 9:00, unsure of what to expect for traffic and also the suspect directions to where we were supposed to park and get a shuttle. The directions started with…take the exit before the one for the track. Well, if you don’t know what exit the track is near, it’s hard to figure out which one comes before it. You can see the track from I-95. I know that because we missed the exit before you get to the track. We found the one for the track, but eventually found our parking lot, rode the shuttle back to where we just were and then found our concession stand at about 11:00….and the place was deserted.

We walked around a bit. I bought the youngster a Daytona ball cap and we came back at 11:20…a couple was there. In the next 20 minutes or so, though, most of the crew got there and we were given things to do. Mostly it was inventory and getting burgers and hot dogs cooking, drinks cooling, roaches killed, that sort of thing, which kept us busy until about 1:00.

Then we waited. The gates opened around 1:00 or 1:30, and there were actually lines to get in….for a race starting in a little over seven hours. We waited some more. Then we waited. At around 3:00, there was some action on the track. A Corvette and a few other Chevrolet automobiles were running around the track giving people rides. We figured it had to be sponsor people, but later learned you could pay some outrageous sum of money to get a ride around the track. At about 4:00 we were told we could go down and walk around the track, sign the start/finish line and check out the garage area, so I did (note the picture), because I wanted to see what it’s all about. I still don’t get the signature on the finish line thing, but I did it. Looking in the garages, with the rest of the mass of humanity, was pretty cool, and standing on the banked curve near the start finish line was impressive. That sucker is pretty steep!

Around 6:00 business picked up. We got and stayed pretty busy until a little after 8:00, when everyone’s butts were glued to their seats. Then we were allowed to get out and watch the start. The first thing that hit me was the smell, which reminded me of driving behind a city bus…but a bit different. I mentioned it to one of my coworkers who was very into it all. He just got this wide grin and said that’s racin’ fuel. Well, OK, but it still stinks. The next thing was the actual start and the noise, which rivals any air show I’ve ever seen. The difference is, in an air show, the jets come and go…and there’s quiet again. With racing, it just keeps coming, and coming…especially once they get strung out a bit. It’s very impressive at first, but after 50 laps, it gets a little old. Many people, I noticed, had ear plugs.

Back in the concession stand, which got noticeably busier during caution flag periods, things moved along, hampered only by the noise when the cars went by. You literally couldn’t hear the person yelling in your face…resorting sometimes to improvised hand signals. In between busy times though, I actually got to see a lot of the race...as much as I wanted, and then some.

After it ended, apparently nobody was happy because some guy nobody likes won the thing. We started inventorying everything left over, and putting beers back in their little plastic rings (a chore we were warned about early in the day, so we only took them out as we sold them, and there weren’t too many of those) and cleaning up.

It was 12:15 when we got in line for the shuttle. There were 10 lines with buses moving in and out. They were somewhat prepared for that fiasco, because they had those serpentine line barricades set up to organize things getting on the shuttles, and jumbotrons in the back showing highlights from the Daytona 500. The only thing was, it was a little disheartening when you got to the third time through the highlight reel and had the lines memorized, which is where I got the title for this entry. It was after 1:00 when we got on a shuttle bus. It was 2:30 when my head hit the pillow. My feet didn't stop hurting (from standing most of the day) until well into Sunday.

Overall, I’m glad I did it. The entire day was one helluva experience. It helped a good cause and satisfied a curiosity I had for quite some time. I still don’t get NASCAR though. I have a better appreciation for it, and understand why it appeals to some folks. I’m just not one of them. They told me I’d either love it or hate it, but they were wrong. I’m pretty much apathetic about it all. It was kinda cool, but not that cool…and definitely not worth all the hype baggage that comes with it, but that’s just one man’s opinion.