Thursday, October 29, 2009

you know you're a bit warped when... enjoy watching one team win a baseball game, but you get far more enjoyment out of watching the other team lose.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Paranormal Activity

I guess i should preface this with...I'm not a scary movie person. I don't watch them. I don't enjoy them. I'm a comedy guy...or an action thriller guy. I like to be made to laugh or be wowed...and horror flicks don't do that for me.

Friday night the youngster came to me with a request.

"Dad, there's this movie I want to see with my friends, but it's rated 'R' for language. Can I go?"

The conversation went from there into what movie, and who wanted to go, and they needed an adult to take them and buy the tickets, since they're all 15 or 16. It's a really scary movie, and pretty much, they're all daring each other to see it. After some research, I decided it was OK, so I agreed to take the lot of them to see Paranormal Activity on Saturday night.

Mom-in-law was in town, so I arranged to take the kids, buy their tickets and leave to meet the wife and mom-in-law at a nearby restaurant for dinner. Another kid's mom was going to pick them up after the movie ended. So far, so good....almost.

We get to the theater, and the attendant informs me I have to have a ticket, and I have to see the movie with them. The kids came in more than one car, and the number I'm now 'accompanying' has increased dramatically. They buy me a ticket, and we discuss sneaking me out after the lights go down. Inside the movie, more of their friends appear with two other adults. The adults all have the same plan. Let the movie start and leave. So far, so good...almost.

The lights go down and one mom leaves, and about 5 minutes later, returns. The movie theater naziiiiierrrrrr...employees followed the concession stand...into the rest room..and informed her they expected her to return to the theater with the kids she brought, or they were throwing them out. I called the wife and told her to go ahead and eat with her mom. I was trapped.

And trapped I the most boring piece of crap movie I've seen in a very long time. It was about as stupid as another movie I took the youngster to...when he was seven...the Pokemon movie. It was equally scary, too, but the Pokemon movie moved faster, and with that one, I knew what I was getting into. This time, I had no intention of seeing a movie, particularly a really bad boring one instead of having a decent meal.

This wasn't scary. I don't think it kept any of those kids up that night. In fact, it was hard staying awake while I was still in the theater. You spend the majority of the movie watching two people sleep. I was jealous. It crawled at a snail's pace, and I kept looking at my watch, wondering how much more I had to endure. The recurring thought I had was....I could be eating steak right now. After it was over, one of the kids, in an effort to rationalize a decent reason for spending $10 on what he just sat through, said, "Well, it did startle you a few times." Sure, and if you would have stayed home, you could sit in a chair and have one of your friends clap his hands behind you when you don't expect it. You'd be just as startled and $10 richer. Bottom line, that's 98 minutes of my life I'm not getting back....and that's the most horrifying thing about this supposed horror flick.


Friday, October 23, 2009

dude...they're shoes for cryin' out loud

Michael Jordan's son, Marcus, is refusing to wear Adidas shoes when he plays basketball at the University of Central Florida. The school has a contract with Adidas, who supplies all their athletic shoes. Marcus says he'll only wear Nike Air Jordans, because the shoes hold special meaning for his family.

OK, they put food on your table and probably bought your car, but they're shoes for cryin' out loud. If they mean that much to you, go to a school that's sponsored by Nike. Don't go shitting all over your school's sponsorship parade over a pair of freaking shoes. Wear what they give you when you play and get over it. After the game, you can put on the shoes that mean so much to you and your family.


it's a sweep!

In an unprecedented move, the Heisman Trophy Trust will not be sending ballots to the traditional Heisman Trophy voters this year. Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy et. al. can relax and watch the ceremony with the rest of America on the couch, as it has already been announced that this year's winner will be Barak Obama.

FOX and CW are now scrambling for programming, as the reality show titans, American Idol and America's Next Top Model, have also mailed it in...Barak Obama.

In other news, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced it has awarded the Oscar for Best Picture for the upcoming year. Yes, it's Barak Obama. Responding to criticism that Obama isn't actually a motion picture, the Academy defended its decision, saying that Obama's rise from poor black child raised by his grandmother to the Presidency instills such hope in small ideas that dream of one day becoming blockbuster movies, that his influence was just impossible to ignore.

People magazine fans are now waiting with baited breath for the announcement of the sexiest man alive. Who could it be?


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

it bugs me, and it really shouldn't

Times are tough. People are losing jobs, or getting their pay cut either by getting salaries reduced or cutting hours for hourly workers. No matter what kind of spin the administration or economists want to put on the recession and it being "over"..tell that to the folks who are scraping by on unemployment or worse, whose benefits have run out and they're still looking. I know all this.

I know some of my family and friends are affected, even if they don't talk about it. It's not something you bring up when someone asks, "How's it going?" You don't want to admit you're barely making you say "fine" and just move along. The conversation would just make it all the more painful. But I know it's happening. I know of people who have been affected, either by losing jobs or wages. I know of one person close to me that it's happening to for certain. Other than that one, I know of nobody, but it has to be happening. Why would the nation be having issues and by some miracle, most of my close friends and family are unscathed? It isn't possible. I know that too.

Still...I've been doing this bike ride thing for the past three years, begging my family and friends for money to donate to a pretty worthy cause in the National MS Society. Each year, for the most part, they've been stepping up. Some more than others, but the overall response has been pretty good. This year it's dropped off quite a bit...and that's not the part that bothers me. Like I said, I understand people probably have more pressing needs.

I do have issues with some of the people though. For family member of the in law variety asked me earlier this year, if I could get him and his friends on an exclusive golf course in town. He flew in from halfway across the country to play. His friends drove down from Georgia. They played for close to nothing (like $40 on a course where the greens fees alone are over $250). Now, I would think when I come calling for a worthy or more of these guys would be jumping right on it, out of gratitude if nothing else, but no. Nada. It's not like it just slipped the in law's mind. I'm not bashful about not-very-subtle hints. He's had e-mails with pictures from the ride and a link to where he can donate.

This really shouldn't bother me. I didn't help them out on the expectation that there'd be some kind of pay back. They could well be having financial issues I know nothing about. They could have any number of reasons why they can't or don't want to support my little cause, and none of that should bother me.

So....why does it?


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

quick hits

Well, it was a weekend for biting the bullet.

First there was the issue of a vehicle for the youngster. I've been agonizing over this for months...not the actual act of purchase, because it's become a necessity, but how to afford it, what we can get for how much money, all that. I think we found something dependable, small, good on gas, and he likes it. Learned a lot about buying cars on If you find something you think will work, you need to pounce fast. The decent cars for a decent price disappear in less than a day.

Then there was the event I've been dreading for years...the one ending in 'oscopy'. That one's now behind me, figuratively and literally. The prep for it was everything I expected, and nothing I want to do again soon. The actual procedure was a walk in the park...or maybe a nap in the park. I woke up in a drug induced haze and was told it was over. I sort-of remember being led back to where my clothes were, and putting them on, and the wife picking me up and taking me home. The whole day is a fuzzy memory though. That's 24 hours I'll never get back.

Then there was the Jaguars. A few weeks ago I said I witnessed the worst performance ever by my team. I should have added the word 'yet'. Lets just say, between prepping for Monday's 'oscopy' thing and watching the Seahawks pummel my team, that was about the shittiest Sunday evening I've ever experienced.


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

another year, another great bike ride

It really does seem to get better every year. The last two years we dealt with lots of wind and rain. Not so this year. I was beginning to think we'd never catch a break, but we had fantastic weather.

Yes, we're talking what has become an annual event in the Lumberyard, the MS Bike Ride from Saint Augustine to Daytona and back. Saturday on the way to Daytona, we actually had a tailwind most of the way. The youngster did the century (100 mile) route with me and a neighbor. The neighbor's two sons also rode with us - all of them doing the trip for the first time.

Sunday, a little bit of a headwind, but not too bad, and it was overcast, so not too hot. Seriously, we couldn't realistically ask for better weather.

Not only that, but a photographer was at the finish line to take this picture...which I will treasure for the rest of my life. Times like this don't come around all too often