50 is the new 50, dammit

I keep hearing this stuff around...especially around people my age. 50 is the new 40, or better, 50 is the new 30. So I guess that's my first problem. Can we get some consensus on what 50 really is now? Is it 30, 40...or can we just be honest and say it's 50?

I have to ask...if 50 is the new 30, what does that make the old 30? 10? God, I feel sorry for those folks. Puberty was a bitch once, but having to do that twice??

Don't be blowin' smoke up my ass. As I approach the ripe young age of 51, let me just be happy that I am (or will be) 51. Don't be trying to make me feel like I'm younger than I am, or insinuate that 51 used to be old, but it's not now. It really is not old now, but it wasn't before, and being old is a state of mind, not a number.

I'll be old when I hang in the barcalounger all day watching Lawrence Welk do the bubble thing in syndication while chuggin' Geritol, mumbling to myself with my teeth in the jar on the table next to me just in case I need 'em, and a bit of drool on my chin. Until then, 50's the new 50, dammit....and it's not such a bad place to be.

In other news...John of the Lumberyard is the new Brad Pitt.