Tuesday, September 13, 2005

daddy ball

I am emotionally conflicted.

If you read the last few posts, you know I had a confrontation with the powers what be in the youngster's little league organization. They all apologized all over themselves and assured me that they really wanted to bring him back for a second look, but called the wrong number and left a message on someone elses machine. (Not that I didn't believe the story, but I did call the number the coach said he called and it is an existing number.) So he goes back Friday night for another shot.

I'm not sure I buy it. I have a feeling he's getting his second chance at a first impression because I complained about him not being notified that he didn't make it the first time, and that wasn't my intention. If he goes Friday night (and he will) and doesn't make it, then we know he just didn't make it and everythings cool. (I know that doesn't sound right, but let me continue.) If he does make it, the questions abound. Why did he make it? Did he do it because he really is a good little ball player, or did he do it because someone feels the need to appease daddy, the family, or whoever? It's like being a victim of affirmative action. Did I get the job because I really was the best qualified candidate or did I get it because I belong to some minority? I don't want those questions in my or my son's head, and I definitely don't want him on that team if it's just to make me feel all warm and fuzzy. That's daddy ball, and I don't like it when I see others doing it, and I want no part of it. I want him to play with that team. I think it'd be great for his self confidence and help him get better in baseball, but I want him there for the right reasons. Not because someone thinks they need to make daddy happy.


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