my...road rage stalker? (or...is it me who's being a dick?)
I don't know this woman. All I know is she drives a black Ford Excursion, with a Florida Gator license plate. I know the plater number (which is actually 4 letters and devoid of numbers) too, but you don't need that. I think she lives on my street, but I'm not sure.
All I know about her is she seems hell bent on making my commute as difficult as possible..like someone is giving her a quarter for each time she can stick her big Excursion ass in front of me.
I do know I provoked it...sort of. There is a place on our trip to school on the old county road where 4 lanes (2 each way) become 2 (1 each way). Most people who travel that road line up knowing one of their two lanes is going away. Sometimes people who didn't go to kindergarten and never learned the concept of a line, race next to the line of cars and push their way in, which only slows the line down even more. I can understand this if you're from out of town, or don't normally drive that road and don't know the lane is going away, but people who travel that road daily have no excuse. All of us have places we need to be and no, yours isn't any more important than mine. One morning, Ms. Excursion was one of those kindergarten rejects, and she tried to push her big Excursion ass in front of me. Let's just say, she was denied. This probably pissed her off, but I can't think of any other incident where I would have had any confrontation with her where I got in her way. As I see it, if you're trying to cut in line in front of me and I stop you, that doesn't make me the asshole.
Ever since then, it's like she's looking for me, and if I come up behind her and happen to be in the other lane, she'll jump in front of me for the hell of it. If I switch lanes to get around her, she'll switch too. Yesterday, when we were in a bit of a hurry on our alternate route, she was in front of me on a four lane road. That's when it got very obvious. Before that I thought maybe she was just that way, and this vendetta against me might be the product of some paranoia on my part. I went to the left lane, she jumped in front of me. Didn't go any faster. In fact, she made sure she kept pace with the car in the right lane so nobody could pass. Finally it looked like I had an opening if I went to the right lane, around her, but no. As soon as I moved right, she swerved in front of me. Then she stayed between the lanes, slowly moving right and left (emphasis on slowly), making it impossible for anyone to get by her. Yeah, I was in a bit of a hurry, so that wasn't sitting well with me, especially since there was nobody in front of her and the car to her right, then in front of her, then to her right,then in front of her, depending on where Ms. Ernhardt was swerving at the time. (Yeah, it reminded me of watching the last lap of a NASCAR race with someone in the lead, desperately trying to hold off a faster car so it couldn't pass him to win.) If she would have gone faster, and she did have that ability, I wouldn't have cared. I would have just stayed behind her. But no, she was making a deliberate point of slowing me down. As the saying goes, "lead, follow, or get out of the way."
Eventually we got into other traffic that made her antics harder. I got around her and went on to school...she followed me...all the way to the spot in front of the school where I dropped off the kids. She stopped in front of the school right behind me as I helped them get out. I don't think she has kids there. Nobody got out, but as I left, she didn't. She parked in the lot next to the school. I didn't wait around to see if anyone got out. I was late for a meeting.
I don't know. It's kind of creepy. All I know is when I see that big black Ford Excursion with the Gator plates anywhere around me I start thinking...please, just don't let her notice I'm even here. I want nothing to do with that idiot, but I do need to get where I'm going. If I'm behind her, she makes life miserable....and she makes it crazy trying to get ahead of her. Consequently, no place in her vicinity is safe.
I guess, in the end, I'm looking for why. I know every story has two sides, and I've tried to think of what I did to piss her off like this. It's not a big SUV envy thing. Hell, I don't care what you drive, and if you want to drive a tank...you go for it. Just because your ass is big doesn't mean you get to shove it wherever you please, though. I know that one incident probably did something to make her mad, but I'm sorry...if everybody is waiting and the line is as far as you can see, no, you're not cutting in front of me if I can help it. You don't get to be any more special than everyone else trying to get where they're going. If that was enough to turn her into super bitch....well, I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. I can't be the only one who stood my ground in front of her big black behemoth, can I? Her list of people to mess with must be longer than I thought.
This morning though, life was good. We got to school without incident. There was no sign of the black Excursion and the kids were back to the Yellow Submarine sing-along. Tomorrow, is Thursday, and I don't take the kids on Thursdays. I go straight to work, so no possible Excursion encounter till Friday. Maybe I'll get lucky and make it to the weekend.
All I know about her is she seems hell bent on making my commute as difficult as possible..like someone is giving her a quarter for each time she can stick her big Excursion ass in front of me.
I do know I provoked it...sort of. There is a place on our trip to school on the old county road where 4 lanes (2 each way) become 2 (1 each way). Most people who travel that road line up knowing one of their two lanes is going away. Sometimes people who didn't go to kindergarten and never learned the concept of a line, race next to the line of cars and push their way in, which only slows the line down even more. I can understand this if you're from out of town, or don't normally drive that road and don't know the lane is going away, but people who travel that road daily have no excuse. All of us have places we need to be and no, yours isn't any more important than mine. One morning, Ms. Excursion was one of those kindergarten rejects, and she tried to push her big Excursion ass in front of me. Let's just say, she was denied. This probably pissed her off, but I can't think of any other incident where I would have had any confrontation with her where I got in her way. As I see it, if you're trying to cut in line in front of me and I stop you, that doesn't make me the asshole.
Ever since then, it's like she's looking for me, and if I come up behind her and happen to be in the other lane, she'll jump in front of me for the hell of it. If I switch lanes to get around her, she'll switch too. Yesterday, when we were in a bit of a hurry on our alternate route, she was in front of me on a four lane road. That's when it got very obvious. Before that I thought maybe she was just that way, and this vendetta against me might be the product of some paranoia on my part. I went to the left lane, she jumped in front of me. Didn't go any faster. In fact, she made sure she kept pace with the car in the right lane so nobody could pass. Finally it looked like I had an opening if I went to the right lane, around her, but no. As soon as I moved right, she swerved in front of me. Then she stayed between the lanes, slowly moving right and left (emphasis on slowly), making it impossible for anyone to get by her. Yeah, I was in a bit of a hurry, so that wasn't sitting well with me, especially since there was nobody in front of her and the car to her right, then in front of her, then to her right,then in front of her, depending on where Ms. Ernhardt was swerving at the time. (Yeah, it reminded me of watching the last lap of a NASCAR race with someone in the lead, desperately trying to hold off a faster car so it couldn't pass him to win.) If she would have gone faster, and she did have that ability, I wouldn't have cared. I would have just stayed behind her. But no, she was making a deliberate point of slowing me down. As the saying goes, "lead, follow, or get out of the way."
Eventually we got into other traffic that made her antics harder. I got around her and went on to school...she followed me...all the way to the spot in front of the school where I dropped off the kids. She stopped in front of the school right behind me as I helped them get out. I don't think she has kids there. Nobody got out, but as I left, she didn't. She parked in the lot next to the school. I didn't wait around to see if anyone got out. I was late for a meeting.
I don't know. It's kind of creepy. All I know is when I see that big black Ford Excursion with the Gator plates anywhere around me I start thinking...please, just don't let her notice I'm even here. I want nothing to do with that idiot, but I do need to get where I'm going. If I'm behind her, she makes life miserable....and she makes it crazy trying to get ahead of her. Consequently, no place in her vicinity is safe.
I guess, in the end, I'm looking for why. I know every story has two sides, and I've tried to think of what I did to piss her off like this. It's not a big SUV envy thing. Hell, I don't care what you drive, and if you want to drive a tank...you go for it. Just because your ass is big doesn't mean you get to shove it wherever you please, though. I know that one incident probably did something to make her mad, but I'm sorry...if everybody is waiting and the line is as far as you can see, no, you're not cutting in front of me if I can help it. You don't get to be any more special than everyone else trying to get where they're going. If that was enough to turn her into super bitch....well, I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. I can't be the only one who stood my ground in front of her big black behemoth, can I? Her list of people to mess with must be longer than I thought.
This morning though, life was good. We got to school without incident. There was no sign of the black Excursion and the kids were back to the Yellow Submarine sing-along. Tomorrow, is Thursday, and I don't take the kids on Thursdays. I go straight to work, so no possible Excursion encounter till Friday. Maybe I'll get lucky and make it to the weekend.
John put this out here at 7:46 AM
2 Comments:
Perhaps you should shower her with gifts. May I suggest:
http://www.studio-south.com/Zero_to_jr.htm
I tried to post the image, but image links are not allowed.
The best course of action though, would be to ignore it.
-G
Well, I can't really let her hit my car. I am, in essence, a school bus. Even if I wanted to let her hit me, I got no business endangering the youngster, or other poeples' kids just to cure somebody's idiocy.
Post a Comment
<< Home