the Beckhams in Hollywood

Rumor has it the Beckhams are second guessing their move to Los Angeles. If you're English, you know what I'm talking about. If you're American, you're probably asking "Who?"...and that, apparently, is a big part of the problem.

The soccer team in L.A. hired David Beckham, soccer star in Great Britain, to come and play for them in hopes of bringing some visibility, publicity, whatever to their sport...and team. The move has pretty much been met with a thunderous yawn. The Beckhams go from being the big fish in a smaller pond to staring at the "No Swimming if you're a nobody" sign, and the snooty maitre d' from Ferris Buller's Day Off asking, "You play what, now? Dave is having trouble passing himself off as Abe Frohman, sausage king of Chicago.

Beckham's wife, the ex-Skanky Spice of Spice Girl fame is apparently put off, because the paparazzi don't have time for her in Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's world. Her plans for a reality show based on...well...her...are being met with indifference by the networks.

I don't know what it is about soccer in this country, but it doesn't stand a chance next to our football, basketball, baseball, or even golf and racing. Maybe it's because other sports already command the big bucks when players sign contracts and play them, so kids gravitate to them. The best athletes play them. Kids see football and basketball players sign multi-million dollar contracts...and, because of that, they'd rather be like Mike than bend it like Beckham. Soccer gets the leftovers who haven't learned to use their hands...and trotting Dave and Skanky Beckham across the ocean doesn't do a lot to change that.

David Beckham was supposed to bring soccer to America. So far, America seems to be asking, "What else ya got?