my dislike for the Masters
If you've read here in this place for any length of time, you'll know I love golf. I love watching it, but I love playing it even more, even if I'm not very good at it. I enjoy getting out with friends and cheering each other on when any of us does something good, and I really do like playing well, on the rare occasion that it happens. I like beating my past performances in what is a pretty hard game. I don't particularly think of it as a sport. I don't smoke (haven't for almost 10 years now), but I play with guys who do...and my opinion is, any activity where you can play and smoke at the same time is tough to label "sport". That's another debate, though.
There is one thing I dislike about golf, and that is golf snobs. I dislike people who think they're better than someone else because they play golf and someone else doesn't, or because they play golf well, and someone else doesn't. I dislike people who get out there and play, and complain about, or make fun of the ability of others in their foursome, or especially the group ahead of them. I really hate it when I see this happen on a public municipal course. If your game is that good, take it someplace else. Most of the guys on a muni course aren't single digit handicappers. They are like me. We play once a month if we're lucky, and just enjoy the opportunity. We hold no delusions of Masters "grandeur." I don't like snide comments about the kind of ball you play, or about your no-name clubs. It's all about trying to make yourself look better at the expense of someone else, using golf as the vehicle....and that sucks.
To me, the Masters embodies all that is bad in golf snobbery. It's a whole weekend of "We're Augusta National, and you're not." It's Hootie and the blowhards lording it over the world...for no reason except, they can...and yes, they can. It's CBS and Jim Nance bending over forward every way possible to make Hootie Johnson happy. Public perception has given the Augusta National club membership that ability, and I'm hoping for a day when public perception will take it away. I don't know that my day will come, but a fella can hope, can't he? This year there are complaints from the players about what's been done to the course. Hootie and the blowhards are saying, "tough." Now, I can take either side of that argument. Tour players are very good at whining when a course is set up in a way that doesn't suit them. You play golf for a living. Stop whining. The other side of it is, if it's that bad, don't play. Boycott the Masters and stay home with the family that week. Shove it all in Hootie's face and say, "Thanks for the invite, but no thanks." Watch it on TV or go to the beach. Hootie doesn't like women in his club? That's one place I have to side with Hootie. It's his little club. He can let anyone in he pleases. Personally, I'm not begging to get there. It's all a bit too stuffed shirt (or stuffed green jacket) for me. If any of them read this though, you can bet there will be a lumberyard detector installed at the front gates, and alarms will go off if I even come close. Are they that petty? Absolutely. Ask Gary McCord, who used to be a TV announcer at the Masters, until one joke about how they bikini waxed the greens. Hootie didn't think it was funny. You'll notice you don't hear his voice doing commentary there anymore, and you never will...yes, because they can. I'm also relatively sure you'll never see this commercial at the Masters, even though it'd be great. It's just not....Hootie enough.
Will I watch? Maybe, but I can't say I'll make a special effort to. I won't watch the stuff that comes after the tournament ends, when the winner gets his jacket and Hootie starts speech-i-fying...because that part truly is a tradition unlike any other...and it just about makes me puke.
There is one thing I dislike about golf, and that is golf snobs. I dislike people who think they're better than someone else because they play golf and someone else doesn't, or because they play golf well, and someone else doesn't. I dislike people who get out there and play, and complain about, or make fun of the ability of others in their foursome, or especially the group ahead of them. I really hate it when I see this happen on a public municipal course. If your game is that good, take it someplace else. Most of the guys on a muni course aren't single digit handicappers. They are like me. We play once a month if we're lucky, and just enjoy the opportunity. We hold no delusions of Masters "grandeur." I don't like snide comments about the kind of ball you play, or about your no-name clubs. It's all about trying to make yourself look better at the expense of someone else, using golf as the vehicle....and that sucks.
To me, the Masters embodies all that is bad in golf snobbery. It's a whole weekend of "We're Augusta National, and you're not." It's Hootie and the blowhards lording it over the world...for no reason except, they can...and yes, they can. It's CBS and Jim Nance bending over forward every way possible to make Hootie Johnson happy. Public perception has given the Augusta National club membership that ability, and I'm hoping for a day when public perception will take it away. I don't know that my day will come, but a fella can hope, can't he? This year there are complaints from the players about what's been done to the course. Hootie and the blowhards are saying, "tough." Now, I can take either side of that argument. Tour players are very good at whining when a course is set up in a way that doesn't suit them. You play golf for a living. Stop whining. The other side of it is, if it's that bad, don't play. Boycott the Masters and stay home with the family that week. Shove it all in Hootie's face and say, "Thanks for the invite, but no thanks." Watch it on TV or go to the beach. Hootie doesn't like women in his club? That's one place I have to side with Hootie. It's his little club. He can let anyone in he pleases. Personally, I'm not begging to get there. It's all a bit too stuffed shirt (or stuffed green jacket) for me. If any of them read this though, you can bet there will be a lumberyard detector installed at the front gates, and alarms will go off if I even come close. Are they that petty? Absolutely. Ask Gary McCord, who used to be a TV announcer at the Masters, until one joke about how they bikini waxed the greens. Hootie didn't think it was funny. You'll notice you don't hear his voice doing commentary there anymore, and you never will...yes, because they can. I'm also relatively sure you'll never see this commercial at the Masters, even though it'd be great. It's just not....Hootie enough.
Will I watch? Maybe, but I can't say I'll make a special effort to. I won't watch the stuff that comes after the tournament ends, when the winner gets his jacket and Hootie starts speech-i-fying...because that part truly is a tradition unlike any other...and it just about makes me puke.
John put this out here at 7:35 AM
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