don't ever let anyone else define you
I know a couple who live on the gulf coast of Florida. He was in the Navy with me and they met about the same time the wife and I did.
Simply put, he's an asshole. He always has been. He knows he's an asshole and takes pride in his assholiness. She's a great person. She's very pretty, very smart and kind, considerate...and yeah, I wondered what the hell she saw in him...but she did and they married. For 20 years he treated her like his trophy wife. She was great to look at, but don't look for her opinion on anything that mattered. She was his dumb blonde wife. Over the years, she let that define her. Now, she's at the point where she's had enough of his assholiness, and she's thinking about leaving him, but she's trying to set herself up to be financially independent. She's talking to people about possible business plans and being surprised that they actually value her opinion. She has such a low opinion of herself that other people she talks to have to convince her that she knows what she's talking about.
That's just a crying shame. Her lack of confidence might sink her before she starts and that's a shame. The fact that she let his opinion of her define who she thought she was is a crime.
I knew a girl in Virginia when I was in the Navy. She was going to Old Dominion University and dated a friend of my little brother's. I found out later she had a crush on me, but I never thought of her outside the context of my little brother's ex-girlfriend, and it went nowhere. Her parents knew though, and her father gave her a lecture about 20 year old girls dating 28 year old guys. That's not the point of where I'm going though. She wanted to fly. She wanted to be a Navy pilot. Her ex-Marine dad told her she couldn't. Her dad....her effing dad told her she wasn't good enough, and she'd fail. She let her dream go...until one day I was talking to her and asked...well, have you tried? She said no. So I pressed...how do you know you aren't good enough unless you try. How do you know, unless you push yourself to the place where someone says...this is where you stop. This is why you can't do it. Against her dad's advice, she went to Pensacola...to Air Officer Candidate School. She made it through that and did well in flight school, and went on to fly jets.
Don't let anyone else tell you who you are, or what you can and can't do. You know who you are...and most of the things we tell ourselves we can't do are things we won't try.
Most of all, don't ever let anyone make you think you aren't good enough...for anything.
Simply put, he's an asshole. He always has been. He knows he's an asshole and takes pride in his assholiness. She's a great person. She's very pretty, very smart and kind, considerate...and yeah, I wondered what the hell she saw in him...but she did and they married. For 20 years he treated her like his trophy wife. She was great to look at, but don't look for her opinion on anything that mattered. She was his dumb blonde wife. Over the years, she let that define her. Now, she's at the point where she's had enough of his assholiness, and she's thinking about leaving him, but she's trying to set herself up to be financially independent. She's talking to people about possible business plans and being surprised that they actually value her opinion. She has such a low opinion of herself that other people she talks to have to convince her that she knows what she's talking about.
That's just a crying shame. Her lack of confidence might sink her before she starts and that's a shame. The fact that she let his opinion of her define who she thought she was is a crime.
I knew a girl in Virginia when I was in the Navy. She was going to Old Dominion University and dated a friend of my little brother's. I found out later she had a crush on me, but I never thought of her outside the context of my little brother's ex-girlfriend, and it went nowhere. Her parents knew though, and her father gave her a lecture about 20 year old girls dating 28 year old guys. That's not the point of where I'm going though. She wanted to fly. She wanted to be a Navy pilot. Her ex-Marine dad told her she couldn't. Her dad....her effing dad told her she wasn't good enough, and she'd fail. She let her dream go...until one day I was talking to her and asked...well, have you tried? She said no. So I pressed...how do you know you aren't good enough unless you try. How do you know, unless you push yourself to the place where someone says...this is where you stop. This is why you can't do it. Against her dad's advice, she went to Pensacola...to Air Officer Candidate School. She made it through that and did well in flight school, and went on to fly jets.
Don't let anyone else tell you who you are, or what you can and can't do. You know who you are...and most of the things we tell ourselves we can't do are things we won't try.
Most of all, don't ever let anyone make you think you aren't good enough...for anything.
Labels: Philosophy
John put this out here at 7:20 AM
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