the whole 'flowers on Valentine's Day' thing
Contrary to what you might believe based on the kinds of things I post in this blog, I'm really not a total idiot. I know, even though the wife says she doesn't want a big production on Valentines Day, there'd better be a flower guy showing up at her desk at work sometime between 9 and 5.
So being the semi-smart guy I am, I called the flower people a few weeks ago, and set all that up. Of course, because they make most of their annual revenue on this day (or actually, tomorrow), they charge a bazillion dollars for a dozen roses on Valentines Day. I'm OK with that. It didn't come unexpected, so I cashed out part of the 401k (because last lear I did the second mortgage thing, and I don't need a third) and along with what I could scrimp since the Christmas bills got covered, I was in there.
Then came the kicker, as I'm on the phone with the flower guys..."We have another option. We'll only charge you hallf a bazillion if we can deliver them on the 13th. Are you interested?"
What? Are you crazy? When I called, did "Stupid Person" show up on your caller ID? Does anyone leap on that? The reason I'm calling you guys is because it's Valentines Day. That's it. That's all the leverage you got. What would make you think I'd be OK with having them delivered a day early? If I go that route, I'd better come up with plan B for the actual Valentines Day show, and it had better be a step up from what I did the day before. I just increased my workload, and hit the 401k one more time. Why would I want to put myself through that? What a way to completely look like a schmuck. "Well honey, I had them delivered yesterday cuz it was half price, so today, I got nuthin'." Yeah, you got nuthin' all right, and that's what you're gettin'...for a very long time. Make sure the cable bill on the doghouse is paid up, because it's going to be you and Sports Center in that place for the forseeable future. Valentines Day is based on emotion and romance, and very little else. How could you better just suck all that out, than getting flowers, but doing it a day early so you could get a deal?
I know...my romantic streak is pretty thin, but it does exist.
So being the semi-smart guy I am, I called the flower people a few weeks ago, and set all that up. Of course, because they make most of their annual revenue on this day (or actually, tomorrow), they charge a bazillion dollars for a dozen roses on Valentines Day. I'm OK with that. It didn't come unexpected, so I cashed out part of the 401k (because last lear I did the second mortgage thing, and I don't need a third) and along with what I could scrimp since the Christmas bills got covered, I was in there.
Then came the kicker, as I'm on the phone with the flower guys..."We have another option. We'll only charge you hallf a bazillion if we can deliver them on the 13th. Are you interested?"
What? Are you crazy? When I called, did "Stupid Person" show up on your caller ID? Does anyone leap on that? The reason I'm calling you guys is because it's Valentines Day. That's it. That's all the leverage you got. What would make you think I'd be OK with having them delivered a day early? If I go that route, I'd better come up with plan B for the actual Valentines Day show, and it had better be a step up from what I did the day before. I just increased my workload, and hit the 401k one more time. Why would I want to put myself through that? What a way to completely look like a schmuck. "Well honey, I had them delivered yesterday cuz it was half price, so today, I got nuthin'." Yeah, you got nuthin' all right, and that's what you're gettin'...for a very long time. Make sure the cable bill on the doghouse is paid up, because it's going to be you and Sports Center in that place for the forseeable future. Valentines Day is based on emotion and romance, and very little else. How could you better just suck all that out, than getting flowers, but doing it a day early so you could get a deal?
I know...my romantic streak is pretty thin, but it does exist.
Labels: Family Stuff, potpourri
John put this out here at 7:38 AM
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