wife to the rescue
Dads are notorious for doing stupid things and needing to be bailed by family. Bill Cosby talked about it in his infamous 'Himself' monologue. If you've never heard it, go buy it or rent it. I don't think it can cost more than about $6 and it's well worth it, on many fronts besides this one. Somewhere in there he talks about...if left by himself for any length of time, his wife would get one of the kids to check up on him because they feared for his safety. He, like most dads, isn't good on his own, and being left unsupervised for long periods of time can be cause for concern.
Well, what better day than Fathers' Day for me to go and prove that axiom. I listened, Saturday night, to the weather folks, knowing full well that they lie. They said we would probably get rain on Sunday, probably late afternoon. With that in mind, I decided to go bike riding after church..which put me out there around 11:00. I wouldn't go real far...maybe 20 miles...get me home a little after noon.
So I did. It was sunny, and I could see the clouds building in the west as I headed that way. No worries though. They still had a few hours to build until things got nasty...or so the weather folks said. Then the wind picked up...in my face. It got stronger as I still headed west. Seven miles in it got real strong and the temperature dropped...a lot. Then it got dark, quickly. Eight miles in the rain drops started and I looked for a break in the median so I could turn around. The wall of rain hit me before I got there, but I did get there. I turned east and pedaled as fast as I could...with the wind, I was pushing over 25 miles an hour. I got out of the wall of rain and into the rain drops. Then I got dry...managed to ride out of the storm and kept pedaling east as fast as I could. Home was still east and a bit south. I got to the turn south when the cell phone rang. It was the wife asking how far I was from home, and I said...not far...maybe 4 miles. I'll be there soon. Then I saw the bolt of lightning. It was a huge nasty bolt and not very far away. I could see the nasty stuff wasn't only coming from the west. It was coming up from the south as well. Getting home was going to be risky. There was a park a mile away. It's a new park, so I don't know what they have there for shelter, but there has to be something.
I called the wife back and told her I was stopping at the park. Please come get me!
It was still dry at the park, but there was nothing there but 2 porta-potties, a lacrosse field and a parking lot. I figured, if the rain starts, I can hang in a porta-potty. I waited. I waited some more. It was only a few minutes but it felt like hours, as I watched the aerial light show and clouds threaten. Then the rain drops started again, and I managed to get the bike and most of me into a porta-potty. Then the wife got there and I got the bike into the car just before the wall of water hit. I got in the car and almost on cue, the really bad stuff started. You could barely see to drive, and it was coming down so hard we were crawling down the road, but I was dry.
...and that was by far the best thing anyone did for me on Fathers' Day.
As a kid, I believed I lived in a bubble of invincibility. I think we all do. We have that feeling like nothing bad is ever really going to happen to us, even though we have no plausible explanation for that feeling. There have been a few times in my life where that bubble's been burst. Nothing really bad happened, but the very real potential was there and that bubble was nowhere to be found. Most of those times involved my flying days in the Navy. Yesterday..when I saw that bolt of lightning...was one of those times. The bubble in me said, "No big deal. You can make it home." Then the bolt hit and it was cowering in a porta-potty.
Well, what better day than Fathers' Day for me to go and prove that axiom. I listened, Saturday night, to the weather folks, knowing full well that they lie. They said we would probably get rain on Sunday, probably late afternoon. With that in mind, I decided to go bike riding after church..which put me out there around 11:00. I wouldn't go real far...maybe 20 miles...get me home a little after noon.
So I did. It was sunny, and I could see the clouds building in the west as I headed that way. No worries though. They still had a few hours to build until things got nasty...or so the weather folks said. Then the wind picked up...in my face. It got stronger as I still headed west. Seven miles in it got real strong and the temperature dropped...a lot. Then it got dark, quickly. Eight miles in the rain drops started and I looked for a break in the median so I could turn around. The wall of rain hit me before I got there, but I did get there. I turned east and pedaled as fast as I could...with the wind, I was pushing over 25 miles an hour. I got out of the wall of rain and into the rain drops. Then I got dry...managed to ride out of the storm and kept pedaling east as fast as I could. Home was still east and a bit south. I got to the turn south when the cell phone rang. It was the wife asking how far I was from home, and I said...not far...maybe 4 miles. I'll be there soon. Then I saw the bolt of lightning. It was a huge nasty bolt and not very far away. I could see the nasty stuff wasn't only coming from the west. It was coming up from the south as well. Getting home was going to be risky. There was a park a mile away. It's a new park, so I don't know what they have there for shelter, but there has to be something.
I called the wife back and told her I was stopping at the park. Please come get me!
It was still dry at the park, but there was nothing there but 2 porta-potties, a lacrosse field and a parking lot. I figured, if the rain starts, I can hang in a porta-potty. I waited. I waited some more. It was only a few minutes but it felt like hours, as I watched the aerial light show and clouds threaten. Then the rain drops started again, and I managed to get the bike and most of me into a porta-potty. Then the wife got there and I got the bike into the car just before the wall of water hit. I got in the car and almost on cue, the really bad stuff started. You could barely see to drive, and it was coming down so hard we were crawling down the road, but I was dry.
...and that was by far the best thing anyone did for me on Fathers' Day.
As a kid, I believed I lived in a bubble of invincibility. I think we all do. We have that feeling like nothing bad is ever really going to happen to us, even though we have no plausible explanation for that feeling. There have been a few times in my life where that bubble's been burst. Nothing really bad happened, but the very real potential was there and that bubble was nowhere to be found. Most of those times involved my flying days in the Navy. Yesterday..when I saw that bolt of lightning...was one of those times. The bubble in me said, "No big deal. You can make it home." Then the bolt hit and it was cowering in a porta-potty.
Labels: It's all about me
John put this out here at 7:11 AM
1 Comments:
Is it bad that I laughed hysterically while reading this??? I hope not! I am glad you are okay, but that was such a cute post. Happy (belated) Fathers Day John!!! :-)
Lynsey
Post a Comment
<< Home