and why can't everyone think like me
I think I know where you think this is going. John's about to go off on some conservative political rant. If that's the road you think we're traveling, you'd be wrong today.
I have some things that are just part of my make up. I hate to be late...for anything. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I'm not, and if that doesn't work and I find myself late, I get this very uncomfortable feeling inside...and that feeling makes me hate being late even more. I also try my damnedest to be a man of my word. If I tell someone I'll do something, I'll do everything in my power to do it. If someone asks me to help them move at 7:00 on a Saturday morning and I agree...I'll be there at 6:55. Count on it. If I'm not there, something went wrong. For me, not being there at 6:55 would show a lack of respect for the person I promised that I would, and a lack of respect for my own word. If I tell someone I'll do something....I'm doing it. If I don't do it, there had to be a damn good reason.
That doesn't mean I'm always successful. Sometimes I'm not, and I feel like shit when I'm not, and I apologize for not holding up my end. The wife will ask, "Why are you beating yourself up over this? You know if the tables were turned, they wouldn't be all that upset about not showing up." She may be right, but that's not the point. What other people may or may not do is not my worry. I want my word to mean something, and I hate when I tarnish it....no matter who I promised what.
Now, that being me, for years I assumed everyone else thought like I did...and I set myself up for some major disappointments. I'd organize activities and tell everyone to be there at 7:00, and inevitably people wouldn't. I'd get a tee time to play golf early on a Saturday,and get three other guys to play, and tell them when I'd be there to pick them up, and I'd end up waking someone up with the car running in their driveway. People made promises to the youngster, and when they didn't follow through, he'd end up wondering what happened. I have one very good friend who is always full of good intentions. I'll ask if he wants to do this or that, and he'll be all excited and "Yeah man, I'm in!" Then I won't hear otherwise until I talk to his wife a few days later who will give me the more realistic..."No way he can do that. He's not thinking, but he has this other thing he has to do."
Because of this, I've learned I have a few choices. I can either dump these people as friends and be forever pissed at them, or I can just accept that not everyone thinks like I do. I can make tentative plans, but I have to base things on track record, and always have a back up plan. If I'm playing golf with Mr. Sleepy Head (who I have yanked from his dreams on more than one occasion), I just have to know to tell him to be ready at such and such a time, but show up at his door when I would expect his alarm clock to go off, so he can be ready when I wanted him to be in the first place. When certain people tell the youngster they want to take him to a movie this weekend, we're thrilled if it happens, but we're not expecting it to. It's like a game. They're all decent, well meaning people. They just don't seem to get concerned when they don't do what they say they will...or they completely forget. In any case, it leaves me a few choices.
I can get pissed off and be disappointed.
I can never talk to them again.
I can learn from them and just lower the expectation bar accordingly, and just let it all slide....
I have some things that are just part of my make up. I hate to be late...for anything. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I'm not, and if that doesn't work and I find myself late, I get this very uncomfortable feeling inside...and that feeling makes me hate being late even more. I also try my damnedest to be a man of my word. If I tell someone I'll do something, I'll do everything in my power to do it. If someone asks me to help them move at 7:00 on a Saturday morning and I agree...I'll be there at 6:55. Count on it. If I'm not there, something went wrong. For me, not being there at 6:55 would show a lack of respect for the person I promised that I would, and a lack of respect for my own word. If I tell someone I'll do something....I'm doing it. If I don't do it, there had to be a damn good reason.
That doesn't mean I'm always successful. Sometimes I'm not, and I feel like shit when I'm not, and I apologize for not holding up my end. The wife will ask, "Why are you beating yourself up over this? You know if the tables were turned, they wouldn't be all that upset about not showing up." She may be right, but that's not the point. What other people may or may not do is not my worry. I want my word to mean something, and I hate when I tarnish it....no matter who I promised what.
Now, that being me, for years I assumed everyone else thought like I did...and I set myself up for some major disappointments. I'd organize activities and tell everyone to be there at 7:00, and inevitably people wouldn't. I'd get a tee time to play golf early on a Saturday,and get three other guys to play, and tell them when I'd be there to pick them up, and I'd end up waking someone up with the car running in their driveway. People made promises to the youngster, and when they didn't follow through, he'd end up wondering what happened. I have one very good friend who is always full of good intentions. I'll ask if he wants to do this or that, and he'll be all excited and "Yeah man, I'm in!" Then I won't hear otherwise until I talk to his wife a few days later who will give me the more realistic..."No way he can do that. He's not thinking, but he has this other thing he has to do."
Because of this, I've learned I have a few choices. I can either dump these people as friends and be forever pissed at them, or I can just accept that not everyone thinks like I do. I can make tentative plans, but I have to base things on track record, and always have a back up plan. If I'm playing golf with Mr. Sleepy Head (who I have yanked from his dreams on more than one occasion), I just have to know to tell him to be ready at such and such a time, but show up at his door when I would expect his alarm clock to go off, so he can be ready when I wanted him to be in the first place. When certain people tell the youngster they want to take him to a movie this weekend, we're thrilled if it happens, but we're not expecting it to. It's like a game. They're all decent, well meaning people. They just don't seem to get concerned when they don't do what they say they will...or they completely forget. In any case, it leaves me a few choices.
I can get pissed off and be disappointed.
I can never talk to them again.
I can learn from them and just lower the expectation bar accordingly, and just let it all slide....
Labels: Philosophy, Whining
John put this out here at 8:12 AM
2 Comments:
Life Lessons. They're a bitch, aren't they?
I learned this very lesson this past weekend for B-Lo's first birthday. (thank you for his birthday wishes by the way!) Party invites went out over a month ago, stating 3:00. Party starts at 3:00. A couple people actually obeyed and showed up on time, while others rolled in around 4:30, 5:00....even later as the day went on. I. Was. Peeved. One partygo-er actually asked "You did the cake already???" Um yeah, it's 7:30 and the little guy had to hit the sack! I am like you, so is my husband. ON TIME for everything, or we feel totally distraught. Good for you--it's an awesome quality. You're a good person. I like you. :-)
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